Just found my son's weed stashed - help.

[Kingk1]

My son has just turned 18 . My partner suspected he smoked weed as he smelt it in our home a few times. As I don't know what weed smells it I brushed it off as I'm always burning new candles , air fresheners etc. Saturday my son is working, his 1 day a week that he calls a job, and I'm looking in his room for a cable for PS4 when I open his drawer , the drawer would not close so I pulled it right out and there hidden in the back was his stash. To say I am gutted, devastated and so upset is an understatement.
I filled a carrier bag with all his stuff, pipes, lighteners, cig papers u name it he had it. I'm more shocked as he doesn't even smoke or drink and hardly goes out.
When I confronted him, he said so wat and I'm glad u know. No remorse etc. I dumped his stash in bin. He recently left his college course cos he didn't like it when he only had 2 months to go. He keeps saying his asked for more hours in his job as I told him to get a full time job if he's not going to college. I'm trying to help him apply for jobs but he doesn't like any. He wants an electrian apprenticeship but there hard to get and he isn't even looking. I've told him from this week I want €20 a week and he has till July to get a full time job and pay £50.
He is so lazy, he sits in his room on pc all day / night. Has no interest in anything, goes no where. Such a sad life.
I try and talk nicely with him, when inside I feel like throwing him out. He has excellent grades, is a nice funny person but he's so lazy I can't understand it.
Tomorrow I am taking internet box to work with me and he can get it back when he's working full time but I know that will lead to a massive argument and I don't want that as I won't get anywhere with him as he's an argumentative person, extremely stubborn and thinks he's always right.
I haven't eaten or slept in 2 days , as I'm so upset that he would bring drugs into my home and smoke it while I'm here. So disrespectful.
Please give advice: do I sit back and wait till he gets a full time job or come down heavy and hope for the best outcome. Thanks in advance!! X

Well know you know why he is so demotivated.

You have my sympathy, I’ve been through it with my DD. When she was 16 I managed to put her off with scare stories about her younger siblings being taken into care and her Dad losing his job in the pharmaceutical industry, but she got older and saw through that. Sadly she had to almost mess up her uni and her mental health before she came out the other side.

Thing that sorted DD was being around people who hated weed. But that meant making new friends and limiting time with old ones. Your DS needs to find new things to do that don’t involve weed.

We moved to a new area and he attended new college so he didn't go out much and was always in his room on pc . I tried everything to get him out, do I think the first main issue is his gaming addiction and now weed also. I hve taken internet box away he goes out then put box bck he stays in . I'm fed up and so disappointed in him. I'm work long hours so he sits in his room for hours on end. He only got a job because I took internet box but that's only 1 day a week, now I have his weed problem to tackle. I'm mentally drained . Thanks for the advice.

Have a look at Catch 22 op, they may be able to help, (if he is prepared to accept it).

He is not untypical for his age. He'll outgrow this phase, one day he will be quite grown up and making positive decisions. Please don't worry.

I think you are over reacting a bit op...ive got 3 kids...the 2 oldest are boys aged 21 and 22...they are both at uni...both very career driven but i know they have smoked weed on occasion....im pretty sure most teens will have tried it at some point...try not to stress too much..

myusernamewastakenbyme I think it’s the lack of motivation and laziness that’s concerning OP more. I suspect if her DS was at university, motived and hard working with a focus, a bit of weed wouldn’t bother her so much.

Just keep talking to him, I don’t think there’s much else you can do. Keep up the support and encouragement.

How is he paying for it? I would try to nip it in the bud ASAP. My ex partner started smoking it as a teen, his mother found out and chose to allow it in her house. More than ten years later he still has it every night and sometimes in the day so is back in his mums box room smoking it in there. Hence why he's an ex totally lazy and unmotivated

That's exactly it, he locks himself in his room on his pc for hours goes to work 1 day a week. If he was in college, working doing something with his life it wouldn't be to bad as I know people try it. But he's 18 and practically a recluse.