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Trying to live a greener life but DH not on board.

25 replies

Magicpaintbrush · 18/06/2019 14:25

I'm talking about small, easy changes I'm trying to make at home to reduce how much plastic waste we generate, save water, recycle things etc - nothing huge, but positive things I felt we could manage and I felt good about doing, because my eyes have been opened to the damage being done to the environment. But the second I suggested making any changes my DH is instantly huffing and puffing about it. This morning I suggested we switch from anti-bac wipes and start using spray with re-usable cloths, which drew an irritated huff from him. Then I suggested we swap plastic soap dispensers for bars of soap, which he got in a mood about and refused to do. I suggested buying re-usable sandwich tubs for packed lunches instead of using foil all the time and he looked at me like I was mental. Later on he was taking 5 heavy duty garden sacks to the dump and as we only had one left I asked him to bring the sacks home after emptying so we could re-use them, to which he started huffing and accused me of being an 'eco warrior' and said no, he was going to chuck them in the recycling and buy a new pack - spending money for no reason when bringing them home would have been no effort whatsoever. I didn't ask him to chop his leg off or anything.

Just feel deflated now. Just wanted to do some good in my own small way but what's the point if he's going to argue about making such small changes? He can't be arsed to do it, basically and I think finds my concern about the environment weird and annoying. It's not as if I'm planning to chain myself to any trees or go on an anti-whaling spree with Greenpeace, its literally just small changes around our home, why is that such a big deal? And we would save money if we re-used things. He's made me feel like a loon.

OP posts:
comoagua · 18/06/2019 14:27

Did you try and do this all at once? I’m not sure I asked my dh I just made changes.

mothsgotmycashmere · 18/06/2019 14:30

Same here, I just make the changes, as I know my DH wouldn't be on board initially. He'll generally comment on the changes after a while, usually with a lot of eye-rolling, but he tends to end up coming round.

Bananalanacake · 18/06/2019 14:31

who does the cleaning. just buy cloths and spray cleaner and use it without telling him.

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comoagua · 18/06/2019 14:33

Yes if I’d asked mike about switching from shower gel to soap he’d have rolled his eyes but he’s using the soap without a problem. Ditto switching spreadable tubs of plastic butter for a butter dish, no comment. No comment on switching to bar soap in loos either - I have got those big things of method though as I find kids more likely to use the foam as they slip with the soap. Hygiene was a factor there to make washing their hands easily.

You can buy eco bin bags and sacks

LoafofSellotape · 18/06/2019 14:33

I don't discuss anything,I just do it.

growlingbear · 18/06/2019 14:33

I agree that making changes until they become normal is much less combative than suddenly launching in. Next time you need to, buy spray and reusable cloths, pack sandwiches in tupperware, by bar soap. No need to discuss any of it.

CakeNinja · 18/06/2019 14:34

Did it all need a discussion (except the last thing)? I tend to just get on and do these things if I want to make changes, and I have done so.

Owlish · 18/06/2019 14:35

I get you, Magic, my DH just said about 10 minutes ago that we need tomato ketchup, so I told him we'd get the one in a glass bottle rather than a plastic squeezy bottle, but he says he prefers the squeezy one (which I don't, because I find them hard to squeeze). Mind, he also refuses to buy anything other than Heinz, even though it's thinner than the own-brand I'd bought before and which he liked before he knew what it was. But that's another story Hmm

SadieSue29 · 18/06/2019 14:35

Mine is the same, doesn't agree with recycling apparently. I just ignore him and do a lot of the things you're suggesting without asking for his opinion.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 18/06/2019 14:41

yes, just do it, like with small children it's best not to explain or offer too many options

Where are the wipes?
We ran out, use the cloth and that spray.

The clingfilm is gone
Oh, use that lunchbox, and remember to bring it back or no lunch for you tomorrow!

Just do it!! :o

TheBrockmans · 18/06/2019 14:42

Just buy what you want. If you are changing then at least you are reducing your impact. He will either make the switch too or have to buy his own. He will probably but his own the first time and then forget.

HalfStar · 18/06/2019 14:53

Agree but why is it always men who can't be arsed making these changes? Annoying. I make the changes and explain to the dc and then they nag/ eco shame their father off their own bat. Often the easiest way

Magicpaintbrush · 18/06/2019 14:57

It wouldn't work if I just went ahead and made changes anyway - he is super houseproud and he is always buying flash wipes and cleaning products way before we even run out of them. He does a lot of cleaning and washing, so no, it did need the discussion because if we ran out of wipes he would just buy more.

I may be able to introduce the sandwich boxes by stealth.

He has come home from the dump now and we have had a chat about it and has said that he appreciates what I am trying to do, but he is not quite on board and feels we already do enough. I have persuaded him not to flush wipes down the loo at least. I think he will go and think about these things in his own time hopefully and gradually changes will happen - he is very stubborn though.

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 18/06/2019 15:18

Is this the 120 wipes guy?

Magicpaintbrush · 18/06/2019 15:23

That's about how many anti-bacterial wipes we use a week, yes, though he doesn't flush those ones down the loo. The antibac ones go in the bin, and I have been using them too, hence wanting to make a change.

OP posts:
Cloudtree · 18/06/2019 15:26

Goodness, that's a crazy amount of wipes. Does he know they're almost entirely made of plastic? I would be telling him that you understand his views but this is really important to you and you would really appreciate it if he can support you with this.

If he doesn't then I think that is quite telling.

RosaWaiting · 18/06/2019 15:27

If you split cleaning between you, maybe the only thing is to lead by example and do all your tasks with reusable cloths.

Lunch boxes, just buy them. It’s easier to bung sarnies in a box, surely he can’t object to that.

ememem84 · 18/06/2019 16:21

dh is like this to a certain extent.

hes all over us getting an electric car when ours finally gives up, and is doing our garden so we are growing things. which is lovely.

but the smaller things - nope. not on board with at all. or at least he wouldn't have thought about.

i bought lunchboxes and we use takeaway tubs for salads et.c the amount of times we've run out because he doesn't bring them back, or leaves them in his bag for a week. ick

he refused to use cloth wipes for nappy changes so i use them to remove my make up instead.

ketchup has to be im the squeeze bottle not glass (apparently it doesn't taste the same)

Fairylea · 18/06/2019 16:24

Oh wow that is a LOT of wipes! Shock

EnidButton · 18/06/2019 18:12

Wtf is he wiping with 120 wipes?!

Going in a mood over soap is bizarre. Changing to more eco friendly methods aside, does he have a problem with excessive cleaning? He sounds quite controlling about it.

Kiwiinkits · 18/06/2019 18:19

Wipes Angry. Pure pollution.

Good for you for trying to change his wipe habits, OP

comoagua · 18/06/2019 18:52

Would anti bac spray and eco kitchen roll be a half way house suggestion?

I do get that when it’s pet poo or sick etc sometimes you just want to know it’s not in your washing machine

comoagua · 18/06/2019 18:53

Sometimes you have to settle for better and not best options

mindproject · 18/06/2019 18:58

Tell him you are selling the car and only cooking vegan food from now on. Maybe he'll accept the little things more if you threaten him with big changes first.

Frazzled2207 · 18/06/2019 18:58

There is a prog on bbc at the mo- war on waste- I believe the whole environmental horror that is wipes was covered. Maybe watch it together?

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