Ridiculous level of complaining - how to politely tell someone to SHUT UP

[Peopleshouldread]

This is written on behalf of myself and a class mate as we are at a bit of a loss how to manage this.

I have a chronic, incurable genetic disease that leaves me in constant pain and always will. To counter its progression I regularly attend clinical reformer based Pilates in a small group. Within the group is another lady a few month past open heart surgery( she's the classmate), a normal non injured athletic lady whose acrobatics we love to watch, and a fairly new addition with no actually injuries , just a need to improve her general condition . (This is definite as we heard her loudly discussing it with our instructor) as she is quite a large lady and needs to start exercising .
As an aside, I am overweight too, so this isn't a fattist bitch fest.

Heart surgery lady and I have days where our pain levels are horrible but we just get on with it - with the occasional - Nope can't do this today. Our problem is the uninjured lady who has been attending for a good two months now.
She can do nothing within the hour long class without whimpering, groaning, complaining, even shrieking about her pain and it's driving the two of us bonkers. Fairly sure athletic girl is over it too, due a number of eye rolls given. The reason we can't cope with it is to our minds, she has nothing to complain about comparatively speaking to us, and we manage to suffer in silence.

I know she is to be applauded for trying to help herself and remember how hard Pilates can be at the start but the sound effects are beyond the ridiculous.

What to we do? Because both of us are only a few days away from an impolite conversation with her, or beating her to death with a foam roller , and neither of us find the idea of injury one-up man-ship particular tasteful, nor do we wish to explain our medical conditions to her.

We're thinking of asking to change classes away from her which is a scheduling challenge for our instructor, and will mean inconvenient times for us, or should we politely mention it to the instructor so she could have a quiet word?

Thoughts?
Thanks.

"Christ on a bike, will you just shut the fuck up" should do it...

I also have health issues - they have made me really not give a damn about the British polite dancing around the issues thing.

what ^^ said!

I'd have a word with the instructor. Personally, Pilates centres around concentration and calmness. I'd worry that the sound effects would be of detriment to the class by class I mean me wobbling and falling over a lot . Plus, doesn't it make it hard to hear the instructor?

Or what beyond said

Agree you need to say something.

I went to yoga post-hysterectomy (the full on abdominal type, not the fancy keyhole type) and when there was something I couldn't do I just stayed in tree pose or whatever while the rest of the class were standing on their heads.

Some people just want to be the centre of attention. "We don't need the sound effects thanks" should be sufficient.

Agree that speaking to the instructor could be the best way forward.

Or 'I am trying to concentrate on this pose, please keep your complaints to yourself'

Or the Christ on a bike comment!

All hail the failing over a lot Erismom and Beyondmywits for the Shut the FUCK UP.

It's honestly like she's giving birth at times, and when we receive specific one on one instruction, she inevitably lets out a wail that distracts the instructor. I'd wear noise cancelling head phones if they were a feasible option.

My mother is like this- everything she thinks or feels comes straight out of her mouth. No filters, no appreciation for where she is. Except it’s never squeals of delight, or sighs of contentment. Always sighs or ‘tsks’ or full on exclamations.

I made the mistake of bringing her to my yoga class, then had to leave myself. I’ve never been more embarrassed. Running bloody commentary of woe.

In your situation, I’d go up to Moaning Myrtle after the next particularly loud utterance (as if it was an instant reaction rather than a planned thing). Say ‘Please could you work more quietly, I can’t concentrate when you’re loud, and I’m afraid I’ll hurt myself if I can’t focus. Thanks.’

It’ll be interesting whether she can or will amend her behaviour, but at least you can go to the instructor next and honestly say you’ve tried everything politely possible- now over to them to solve.

People perhaps you could join in?

Invent a new type of noisy Pilates...

Take it in turns of shhhhhing her. Just a quick shhhhhhhh. Then both look serene and pilates like. Other athletic lady might catch on and join in the shhhhhhhing.

She won't know who is doing it and will either stfu or flounce.

Alternatively ask her if she is ok in an equally dramatic way 'Jesus fuck, are you ok hun? Sounds like you are giving birth'. 'Oh my days, I think you should sit this one out, it's pilates not torture, you sound in pain'. 'Bloody hell woman, you should see the doctor for a fit to pilates note, that doesn't sound healthy'.

It's performance exercising. Not necessary at all.

or I could just start saying things like Fucking hell, and Jesus Christ loudly in sync with my exercise and her wailing - with saintly expression on my face.

I feel your pain. Two people have joined the gym recently and they have loud conversations that go on for ages. Not a normal volume of conversation you'd expect but 'BLAH BLAH FRICKIN BLAH' level.

I've tried giving them passive aggressive looks but they are completely oblivious. Wish I could tell them to stfu.

I'd ask the instructor to meet with me and friend without noisy woman present, then ask if she could introduce silent working because all noises detract from the practice.

It can be dressed up as anything and announced before it starts, so the instructor could say something like Today, we're going to do something different. We're going to do all of our exercises in complete silence apart from my demonstrations. Complete silence isn't just no talking, it also means no moaning and groaning, no sighing, no exasperated noises because they disturb other people.
Paddington Stare from the whole class to noisy woman If anyone desperately needs my assistance, they can raise their hands and wait, but only after trying the exercise silently for themselves.

The aim of that would be to silence noisy woman without making a personal issue out of it.

How about the instructor introducing nose-only breathing, that means keeping your mouth closed so should stop her sounds.

If she still continued, you could ask the instructor to reschedule noisy woman's classes to a different day/time, why should you have the inconvenience of changing when it's noisy woman who is upsetting the status quo.

Instructor neds to tell her to shut up. Whether that's "Shut the fuck up!" or something more subtle is up to her and her patience levels.

You could what my children's school bus driver used to do when they didn't have the right change, take a deep breathe and as you let it out say 'fuuuuucksaaaaaaake' every time she makes a stupid noise

But actually I would have a word with the instructor - really she shoudl have noticed the problem and addressed it - it is for her to sort not you, comes under 'controlling the class'

Just talk to the instructor. I am sure they will have good tactics for this sort of thing. It is important that he/she knows you are unhappy.

Thank you all for the advice.
Going to have a chat with friend, and probably talk to instructor - and may also employ the Fucks Sake option too.