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Employing a private detective?

3 replies

YorkshireLass1969 · 17/06/2019 14:50

I can’t give too much information, as would be ‘outing’, but a close friend of mine has a daughter from whom she is semi-estranged. They used to be close but since DD met her partner, the contact had dwindled significantly and DD has cut herself off from all family and friends and lives about 5 hours drive away. Friend believes DD is in a controlling relationship, but basically just wants DD to be happy and appreciates that she can’t interfere in DD’s life, but just be there if needed.

Anyway, she has heard that DD may have a baby, but doesn’t know for sure. She has seen DD recently and DD didn’t mention it, but DD has become very secretive where she used to be very open and loving. Friend doesn’t want to risk the recovery of the fragile relationship with DD but is in agonies of knowing whether or not she has a grandchild - her first - or not. If she did she would not say anything or try to interfere and understands it is for DD and her partner to tell her and up to them whether she has any contact. But the uncertainty is hard to live with.

Friend is now considering employing a private detective to carry out some low level ‘surveillance’ just to see if there is any baby, but is concerned that this would be viewed as spying or stalking, so also feels uncomfortable and doesn’t know what to do. She has confided in a couple of close real life friends, but their advice is a bit contradictory. Most would do it, but some wouldn’t. She is also worried that the private detectives might be clumsy and intrusive and that her DD would find out and that would make things much worse. Basically, she just wants very soft enquiries, maybe someone to knock on the door and see if there is a baby or a pram?

What would you do in my friend’s position?

OP posts:
Kittekats · 17/06/2019 14:52

Can she search birth records for her daughters name? I am not sure how it works but I believe it is possible.

Amibeingdaft81 · 17/06/2019 14:53

What would you do in my friend’s position?

Bugger all!!

you you friend sounds like a complete loon

Amibeingdaft81 · 17/06/2019 14:54

And this DD has made a very clever call not to have anything to do with her mother in the basis of this

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