School bully sent Fb request

[RachaelCatWhisperer]

I've had a friend request this week from a woman who made my life a misery at school 25 years ago. She was in my class and harangued me constantly about everything and anything - too clever, too fat, too posh (?), not pretty enough, came from a church school, appearance, parents age... absolutely anything. It was only verbal, but was relentless every day for the 3 years we were in the same form.

Now, 25 odd years on, she send me a Facebook request.

Obviously I can ignore it - I have for a week already. But part of me would love to tell her, succinctly and without anger, why I do not want her in my life. Another part of me would love to shout it from the rooftops.

I think the worst thing is, by virtue of the fact she has contacted me either means she doesn't remember or doesn't think it was a problem.

Even just reading her name and seeing her face made me shiver. Ignoring it is not really helping, because I keep thinking about it, and the same feelings flood back.

What would you do?

Of course you can ignore it. You have the power and you're not 15 anymore.

If just seeing her appear on your fab is so triggering then decline and block her from ever adding you again. I suggest that you look into counselling though as you clearly have done lasting feelings based on your treatment which is understandable.

A lot of people seem to conveniently forget how much of a shit they were as the years go by... delete, block, move on and remember that YOU are in control.

Delete and block. Don't give her any more power or oxygen.

I had this situation a few years ago. I accepted the request.

It’s actually been fine. We’ve even exchanged friendly messages a few times. People change hugely over the years, and bullies tend be troubled unhappy people. For me, it’s made me let go of the anger and self-pity I felt about being bullied.

We’ll never be “real” friends, and to be honest we don’t have much in common. But that’s ok too.

I’d have a good nosey at her Facebook while you can, but that’s just me.

You can just delete and ignore.

Or you can open the door to it and say something. But if you start a conversation be prepared for it to continue and it may not go the wanted it to.

Thank you all for your kind words. I was bracing myself to be told off for being ridiculous!

No I probably haven't dealt with the teenage stuff if I'm honest. Is quite like to tell her why I don't want to be fb friends. If I do though, I'll spend a good long time carefully wording it. Or maybe I'll just ignore it. That may actually speak louder. X

I had this. I just ignored the request. I expect that speaks louder than anything else. In my case I would bet money on her still being a bully (I suspect not all school bullies remain so as adults), and I have no interest in opening up a conversation with her.

Delete and block.

Life is too short to even think about those awful 3 years. Go forward and live a happy life - the best revenge ever :)

I weirdly had a request from somebody who asked if I felt they had bullied me then I could just ignore it. I replied that they hadn't and they said they had had so many people accusing them of it they assumed they might have!

I also had a friend request from someone who had made my life hell. I ignored and blocked.

Life is too short. Just ignore it.

Block & delete & set your privacy settings to friends only.