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My ex upsets my daughter and only has them with his other children

5 replies

Louise2483 · 16/06/2019 20:59

Some friendly advice plz. My ex and I have had a very complicated past. We separated and he can't handle this and has become very nasty. Since then he has done everything g he can to see our daughter ( she's 7) and contact her. He turns up outside the school, outside my house tells her to come outside. I have explained that I'm not doing that and he needs to communicate with me not our daughter about any arrangements he wants to make. He rang the night before asking to take her and his other children ( from a previous relationship) out but we had plans. Anyway when we got home I let him know we were home if he wanted to see her as she had a card for fathers day for him. He turns up and takes her out ( without saying anything to me). When she returned 2 hours later, she was in tears. He said to me " either you sort her out or I will, she's ruined it for everyone!" Every time he takes our daughter out he takes her with his other children. The 2 girls always end up fighting or arguing and she always comes back upset and in floods of tears that I have to deal with. I have since said he is to see her without the other children for now because it's not doing anyone any favours. He thinks I'm isolating her ( may I add he made her sit right at the back of the people Carrier and every one in the front due to her having a tantrum with the other child). Am I wrong. The mother of the other children is not aware that they are seeing each other and she has said she does not want them mixing. Also my ex has only been back in our daughter life the last nearly 2 years after being aware for 3 and a half years, he hardly pays attention unless we have a disagreement and never Pays anything towards her.

OP posts:
Spanglyprincess1 · 16/06/2019 21:04

Your daughter has a right to have a relationship with her half sibling. Also maybe he sees other kids on his only days not working etc so it is the best time. To facilitate contact.
To be blunt if it went to court a judge would be fine with her mixing with her half siblings.
A nuce suggestion as a compromise might be on her own with him one night after school then on weekend contact with others?

sincethereis · 16/06/2019 21:06

“Mixing” Hmm

They are siblings they should mix

Quartz2208 · 16/06/2019 21:11

Yes they should mix but he also should be able to sort it without ending in teras and picking one over the other - which he clearly cant at the moment

And also if doesnt have that strong relationship he needs to facilitate that first and then helps grow the sibling relationship

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Cherrysoup · 16/06/2019 21:12

Go to cms. Why isn’t he paying maintenance? What is wrong with all these dead beat dads who try their best to hide/not pay maintenance which is for their DC, not the ex?! I just don’t understand how a father can do this.

He sounds like he’s being emotionally abusive to her: are you able to go to court for a court ordered amount of contact so he’ll only turn up as ordered?

Louise2483 · 16/06/2019 21:12

Yes I agree there I've never stopped them from mixing before and have always wanted them too it's just how she is always being shouted at and sent home in tears when they're together that concerns me. He can have her any time we are free and dont stop that where possible, but he just never has her alone and she is craving that. He is self employed and can take anytime he likes as he always tells me.

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