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Mental illness when you're a mum, social services?

3 replies

maybesheknewhim · 16/06/2019 18:04

It started off as awful anxiety and constantly feeling like I'm being watched.

I still feel that way. It's awful. I'm almost certain someone is watching me, although I don't know why. Last week it got so bad that someone's phone made the little 'click' sound that phones make when you take a picture. I literally did a 360 turn discreetly but quickly, to ensure the picture wasn't of me. It was a selfie Blush

I feel like I'm on constant fight or flight mode. And now in the last week I'm hearing whispers of random sentences such as "It's you" and "She's over there".

I'm sure these are a consequence of the feeling someone is following me. It's manifested for whatever reason.

However, I don't want to get to a place where I can't separate reality from delusion. That terrifies me, and it just can't happen. I have DC to take care of.

I'll be honest and say I'm frightened. I'm scheduled to see my GP tomorrow after making an appointment in advance the other week. I have prepared everything I'd like to say to her, but I'm so worried.

I'm worried they will want to get external sources involved. Not to ensure I'm well but to ensure DC is well. My DC is perfectly safe and happy. I put on the best of fronts, and although I'm sure sometimes that must slip and I must look very worried to him, that doesn't raise a cause for intervention, does it? There are children who's parents are facing worse situations and social services aren't involved then.

This all stems from a slight period of psychosis towards the end of my pregnancy. It went away at about the 35 week mark. I delivered at term and it was made clear I was well again prior to admission to hospital when delivering. However, I had a really awful run in with a consultant who is well known for being extremely unpleasant (numerous reports from family, friends and other midwives who work there themselves).

She told me I couldn't go unless I had a full assessment. I was well enough to go home but she said I'd have to discharge myself and social services would be contacted since I did not follow advice. I was more than happy to be assessed (by the psychiatrist provided to me on the day). He was extremely happy with me and made it very clear on paper (of which I saw, as did family), and to me that there was absolutely no grounds to 'section' me and prevent me from leaving, and the very idea was absurd since I was currently very well.

To cut a long story short, the consultant I saw came to see me again and demanded I wouldn't be discharging myself, unless I want to do so against medical advice and have social services contacted. We explained the psychiatrist just said I was clearly well, and that you said yourself if the assessment was okay then I could go. She then said "well it isn't just his decision, that's not what he said, and besides, its a team decision". Confused

I reported all this to PALS and I did get an apology.

I had an extremely good time as a new mum. Great sleep, great breastfeeding. Still very lucky now with DC. Not a whiff of depression, I was very surprised.

However, I am aware things are no longer so peachy and that's why I'm seeking help.

OP posts:
maybesheknewhim · 16/06/2019 18:06

Forget to add, it was confirmed to me before discharge that social services would be reported to. They never came, not once Hmm

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 16/06/2019 18:13

You're doing the right thing in seeking help from your GP. If they or MH services do contact social services they'll be there to support you, not to judge.

usernamenc · 16/06/2019 18:33

If it’s any reassurance at all:

My mum has had major disabilities all my life . My dad took off when I was tiny . I had huge caring responsibilities in the home . No other family support . Social services were involved from the beginning but never really intrusively so , from what I remember they did come out quite regularly but never really expressed concerns that I remember .

I think you’re definitely doing the best thing seeing your GP given your history , hopefully there’s an early intervention team or something who can help you . Might not be a bad idea to tell a trusted relative too , perhaps they can help a wee bit .

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