I have been married for many many years. We have 3 DC, DS and 2DDs. My husband and I get along and I love him but -
He is incredibly lazy, inconsiderate, careless, many times selfish and violent, he is overweight and spend most of his time hanging out with his 3 friends at the tavern. He works in a job that he is completely unsuitable for, he is incompetent and frankly he's put our town in danger multiple times. He bought a pet pig once (yes a pet pig) and then dumped all of his waste into the local lake, which almost destroyed the town.
When we were younger, one of his best friends was on his way to a very prestigious school, but my husband pressured him into drinking a night before an important exam which basically ruined his life. He is now an alcoholic with no future.
He hates our neighbour. Yes he is a bit overly friendly and religious but he's a single dad with two boys and I think my husband should be nicer to him, especially seeing as his wife died because of my husband!! It is definitely his fault but obviously my husband never truly gets in trouble with the law here.
But then again our neighbour is pretty good looking and we've had close moments so maybe my husband's hate is just jealousy??
Yes, sometimes he does good things, he has some very high achievements, but most of the time I do everything around the house, I look after the kids, I sort out everything while all he does is eat and drink beer in front of the sofa. His dad has dementia and even that has taken it's toll on us. He promises the kids things always but never actually does anything. I am worried it's having an adverse effect on our DS.
Our DS (B) is a lovely child but he is very problematic. He is always up to mischief in school, always causing trouble, irritating the headmaster and just a little nuisance. He is always in detention. I hate that he always watches violent animal tv shows, with a cat and mouse that do horribly violent stuff to each other and DS looks up to it! We've tried to stop him but to no avail. His biggest role model is a completely unfunny clown. My husband tends to get really violent with him and puts his hands on him, going as far as strangling him. I feel so sorry for my DS, but I know my husband loves him, even if he is a lazy bum who doesn't show love properly.
Our older DD (L) is a perfectionst, she is a golden child, plays an instrument beautifully, fights for enviromental causes but sometimes she too can be too much and just irritating as hell!
Our youngest DD (M) can't seem to leave her dummy. She's never walked and only crawly everywhere. She is a good kid but I worry what she might be like in the future.
I also have sisters which are twins which could easily be sociopats and they absolutely hate my husband. Even though my husband helped my sister adopt a child.
The police force here is useless, we only have one shop & I feel pressured into going to church every Sunday as the entire town is there.
I feel stuck in this dead town with my no good but loving husband, my frankly sometimes very tiring DC and our life here. I wish I could just leave. Start a new life elsewhere, where I can take care of myself and maybe even put my hair down more often, I have very very long blue hair that I keep high up often, it's my trademark at this point, but I would love to be able to have to time to just straighten my hair and wear it down. I have had a good career life, I have been an activist, a writer, I was an actress once... so I feel I must have some potential.
But I love my husband and at the end of every day we make up. But every time it starts again I dread it, knowing I am bound to go through it on a loop.
Should I LTB?