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Original poster

For those without their Dads on Father’s Day

50 replies

exWifebeginsat40 · 16/06/2019 11:34

just that, really.

my dad died last November after a long and difficult illness. we had a complicated relationship, but i adored him. i was with him when he died. i miss him very much.

so, maybe a supportive thread for people who find Father’s Day hard, whatever the reason?

OP posts:

NarcissistMum · 16/06/2019 14:25

My Dad died three years ago last week. The only company to ask if I wanted to not receive Fathers Day Marketing emails was Superdrug. The other companies who didn’t have
the forethought to ask I have just unsubscribed from/blocked on Facebook. I usually listen to Radio 2 all day on Sunday, but have turned it off now. I understand people celebrating it, but to have it mentioned between every record for 3 hours was a bit too much.

MaximusHeadroom · 16/06/2019 14:30

Lovely thread.

My dad died in 2015 and it was like the world lost a bit of its brightness.

I have had so many wonderful things happen since but there is always an empty space where he should be.

I remember a quote that "Grief it the price we pay for love" and the years I had with him were definitely worth paying for.

He was a legend

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 16/06/2019 14:48

The tempest

I went to a wedding 2 months after my dad passed and they had I loved her First as the song for the father/daughter dance. I couldn't breathe for grief, it was too much. I slipped away to the bathroom and if anyone noticed, they were kind enough not to mention it. Well done for keeping it together.

Ginger1982 · 16/06/2019 14:53

Dad died 23 years ago when I was a teenager. Miss him every day 💙

maggienolia · 16/06/2019 14:57

My dad died last year after ten years of deteriorating health (bastard asbestos).
I was out on a call this morning and watched my elderly gent get a hug from his son . And it really stung that I can't do that again .
Miss you so much Dad.

Original poster

exWifebeginsat40 · 16/06/2019 15:03

@Emmapeeler i’m so sorry for your loss.

i’m sorry for all of our losses, including those whose fathers were absent.

i hope everyone’s day is going ok 💕

OP posts:

WhyDoIAlways · 16/06/2019 15:19

Not really - DH sulking again so now it's twice as hard

pastaparadise · 16/06/2019 16:13

for all

My dear dad died almost 7 years ago, but he had a long period wirh dementia so it's been about 13 years since i really talked properly wirh him. I wish he could have met my dc - he would have been a great grandad. i miss him a lot

TheFaerieQueene · 16/06/2019 16:18

My DDad died 9 weeks ago after a long journey with dementia.
I went to his grave today to see him as I would if he was alive. My sister brought a bottle of champagne to toast him, which was lovely especially as the sun came out.
I miss him every day.

Marky1 · 16/06/2019 17:19

My wonderful dad died 10 years ago. I still think about him most days. What I miss the most is not being able to ask his advice and opinions. He was so wise and always seemed to know what to for the best. I wish he could see the way things have turned out for me and my wife over the last 10 years. All I ever wanted was to make him proud. Miss you Dad.

Pyjamaface · 16/06/2019 17:24

My Dad died 3 weeks ago. We've spent the day working out the last details for his funeral

Magmatic80 · 16/06/2019 17:39

@SnipSnipMrBurgess weddings are the one thing that tip me too, I just about keep it together watching the bride walking down the aisle, but I lose it every time at the bride/father of the bride dancing. My DF died 6 years ago, and I think I’ve been to more weddings since than in my whole life previously! for you all

BonApp · 16/06/2019 19:24

@maggienolia asbestos killed my dad last year too. Just horrific.

He was such a legend.

elliejjtiny · 16/06/2019 19:42

Thinking of you all. My Dad died suddenly 5 years ago aged 61. I am thankful for the years I had with him but I miss him. He never minded if I phoned him at work to ask him how to download new songs on my iPod and if I asked him to pick me up he always would, even if it was late and I was miles away. I even miss him coming into the pub at 10:30 and embarrassing me in front of my friends.

user1493413286 · 16/06/2019 19:45

It’s been nearly ten years and it’s still hard. It’s a nice distraction now I have DC to make it a happy day but sometimes I’d still rather hide away like I used to.

beepbeeprichie · 16/06/2019 20:00

Hugs to you all. I miss my dad so much. For general life advice and support, and for the fact he never knew his grandchildren and he would have adored them. Felt very resentful of seeing generations of families out and about today.

HettySunshine · 16/06/2019 20:32

My dad died two years ago in a car accident. I miss him so much. My youngest children only met him a couple of time but he loved them all so much. Not a day goes by.

BloomsButtons · 16/06/2019 20:39

My Dad died 20 years ago next month. He was 45.

I miss him every day and wish he could have met all of his grandchildren. Today is hard .

Myusernameismud · 16/06/2019 20:48

My beautiful daddy died 3 years ago and while most days I'm OK, today I have been a wreck. It's an almost physical sensation in my chest, I can't quite describe it but anyone who has experienced it will understand.

Lots of people get upset when they hear songs that remind them of their lost ones, and while Landslide by Fleetwood Mac gets me every time, DH was really confused when somebody sang 'Bat Out of Hell' at karaoke in a bar we were in once, and I sang at the top of my lungs while crying the entire time. My dad was a huge meatloaf fan, and if I was in a particularly stroppy mood as a teen, he'd play BOOH at full volume on repeat until I snapped out of it and sang along.

My beautiful, darling dad. I will never not miss him. 3 years on and I'm still trying to learn how to live without him.

Sending to all of you struggling today, and every other day.

romany4 · 16/06/2019 20:52

My wonderful dad died 10 years ago on the 12th June. It's hard with the anniversary being just before Father's Day every year.
He had an aggressive cancer that from diagnosis to death was 7 weeks.
I miss him. I love him. Always

Gilead · 16/06/2019 20:57

My dad died suddenly 24 years ago. I miss him.

JaneJeffer · 16/06/2019 20:57

My second Father's Day without my DF. Last year just felt weird but this year is harder for some reason.

TixieLix · 16/06/2019 21:04

This is my second FD without my dear dad after he died in August 2017 from pancreatic cancer. It was six months from diagnosis to him passing. My dad delivered me at home after the midwife was delayed in thick snow, so we had a very special bond and I miss him every single day. The first weeks and months were very difficult as I kept reliving his last day, being moved from home to hospice was traumatic. I was fortunate to be with him when he passed though. It's slightly easier now as I've made coming to terms with him dying, but I'll never stop missing him. This weekend was difficult, being in the card shop with my daughter as she selected a card for my husband, but I didn't have to select one of my own. for everyone who is without their dad for whatever reason.

AuntieMarys · 16/06/2019 21:08

Mine died in 2002 aged 81...he was a massive part of my life, my mother not so.
I was bereft when he died but only for about 10 years. Now I don't miss him at all as he had a great life and died before he suffered.
Time is a great healer in my case

Mrsfrumble · 17/06/2019 00:17

My dad died on 14th June last year. While Father’s Day last year just felt really surreal, this one was rough.

I put a lot of effort into making sure DH had the best day possible (to distract myself, I think) and when DS asked him if he’d had a good day, he just answered “it’s been okay I suppose”. After the children were in bed DH admitted that he hadn’t thought about how I might have found the day hard, which made me cry. At least he acknowledged it I guess.

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