I need your top tips for surviving two months with DM

[drivinmecrazy]

DM is having an operation on her spine so I have the joy of flying out to Spain (so not all bad) while she recuperates.
I'm going out next week when she has her op and kids and DH will be joining me as and when school & work finish.
DM and I get on generally well but she grates on me after a while. She's not the kind of woman to just chill, always planning the next event. Going on past experience her friends will want to pop in 'for a cup of tea' which will inevitably entail me making sure there are canopies and assortment of beverages on offer, nevery just a cup of tea, think more tea at the Ritz than a cup of PG and a biscuit.
She also talks. A lot. Never runs out of things to talk about!
I often feel about 10 in her presence. Never quite living up to her expectations.
As I said I love her very dearly but two months is one heck of a long time!
She lives in a wonderful house in a spectacular rural setting on top of a hill, but dreams of lounging by the pool while she rests is just a distant dream.
What I'm hoping for is ways to calm myself when she invariably pushes all my buttons at once, how to stop the murderous thoughts and how to convey an image of pure calm when, in fact, I'll probably be thinking murderous thoughts.
TIA

Do you own a decent pair of noise reducing headphones?

I am guessing she will be immobile whereas you will not. I would factor in getting out of the house every day for some of the time. If she has a pool get up early to swim and chill a bit.

Could you involve her friends in providing snacks etc to go with their tea? Pretend you don't know how to cook/bake.

Let her talk but don't get sucked in and don't respond. Tune most of it out if you can. Deep breaths. You can do this.

Have you met my mother? Obviously not if you think headphones will stop her. She has ways of getting herself heard. I swear last time she had an op she could hear me tiptoeing about getting myself settled by the pool and waited till I'd been through all the rigmarole of suncream and pouring a GnT before I heard her call me to ask when can she get up and yes before you ask I ensure she takes the maximum medication possible, never has an effect.
She's a machine

Both my mother and mother-in-law are probably mystified by my lack of fitness considering how many runs I go on when they are staying/we stay with them.
They are probably equally mystified by my inability to include milk and the odd other essential item from the supermarket delivery meaning I have to nip to the supermarket on a regular basis.

Sounds like my mum, not sure I could face 6 weeks! I think the key is getting out daily (do you have use of a car?)

I do the supermarket most daysuccessful and make sure I stop for tapas and coffee, but she's so predicate. I'll invariably be met with 'I thought you'd got lost' also adding my name and middle name just so I know I'm the child in this relationship!
I will have the opportunity to go out for lunch frequently, albeit with her friends who, while lovely, are all as mad as a box of frogs
My highlight of the week will be Mario when he comes to do the pool, he always does a slow striptease pretending he doesn't know I'm watching from behind the shutters. As I said, it's not all bad

Can you have a siesta every afternoon?

Play Irritation Bingo. Make a bingo card (mental or otherwise) of all the things she is likely to do or say or annoy you. Then when it happens, it will actually be quite satisfying!