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Original poster

My DH is a childish knobhead

19 replies

Stillmonday · 15/06/2019 13:37

We've just had a sleep deprived argument which started because he started drilling just when I'd gotten the baby to sleep.

Angry words were exchanged but the thing that's really got to me is that he said he'd take the baby off me! I know it was just said to hurt me but there are things you should never say and that's one of them.

I'm not sure how I go about forgetting such hateful words.

OP posts:
SometimesItRains · 15/06/2019 13:42

He threatened to take the baby away from you as in he wants to split up and have custody? Is he usually such a twat? It doesn’t sound like he cares for you very much. My DH and I can argue, but neither of us would ever threaten that because it would never enter our minds. I’m not sure how you do move past that to be honest.

Original poster
Stillmonday · 15/06/2019 13:45

He is very childish to be honest. He doesn't want to split up and said as much, it's just a hideous thing to say. It's really hurt me and I can't stop tearing up every time I think about it. Baby is only 5 months and he's my whole world. DH only holds him for 10 minutes a day if that!

OP posts:
SometimesItRains · 15/06/2019 13:50

So if he doesn’t want to split do you think he threatened it just to keep you in your place? Or thoughtlessly out of spite? I mean both are bad, but I would have guessed the second would be theoretically possible to get over if he accepted he was in the wrong and profusely apologised. The former would have me seriously questioning the relationship.

sheshootssheimplores · 15/06/2019 13:53

My father used to say that to my mother as a way to control her. It’s a HUGE red flag OP.

PeoniesarePink · 15/06/2019 13:56

That's nasty.

Not sure I'd be wanting to forgive that. Or forget it.

Original poster
Stillmonday · 15/06/2019 14:03

I'm not sure I can forgive or forget either. He's not one for apologising so I doubt I'll get one. He will just sulk for the rest of the day.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/06/2019 14:07

Tell him he needs to think on why he was so spiteful and how he thinks that makes you see him?

Tell him plainly that such deliberate spite is a relationship killer and, if he doesn't want to push you away, he needs to choose not to say such nasty, deliberately hurtful and threatening things.

Pop that ball right back into his court and make him think about why he chooses to hurt and scare the mother of his child.

Either that or threaten the continued safe existance of a cherished possession... with a hammer...

NavyBerry · 15/06/2019 14:07

"started because he started drilling just when I'd gotten the baby to sleep."

He'd be dead if it was me. How can you be so ignorant? Forget the nasty words he probably didn't mean it but your husband needs to share your sleep deprivation to appreciate some simple things

CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/06/2019 14:08

Oh! I took too long to type that.

You may have a deep thought coming in then. Can you live the rest of your life with that behaviour?

Original poster
Stillmonday · 15/06/2019 14:10

This is where he's so selfish, I've tried to explain how the babies naps are important but he will still just do what he wants regardless. He's very selfish & very childish. And extremely hurtful.

OP posts:
Cersei61 · 15/06/2019 14:41

Awwww bless you.

You both sound very young.

Personally I would have accepted his offer there and then.

Packed a bag and left him holding the baby.

Given him a sharp reality lesson. For at least a week.

Thequaffle · 15/06/2019 14:46

OP that sounds really horrible, what a childish awful thing to say to any mother but especially a new mum.
Tell him to screw off

Thequaffle · 15/06/2019 14:47

Btw I have no children but if he started drilling when I’d just got the baby down I may have gone and pissed in his shoe in revenge.

GreenTulips · 15/06/2019 14:50

Personally I would have accepted his offer there and then

My DH said this once and said ‘well if your leaving the baby is staying here’ and said ‘good!’

His face was a picture .... he never said it again

newmomof1 · 15/06/2019 14:55

*You both sound very young
*
Why does everyone always assume the petty arguments are young people? If you're married at a young age you're generally hire mature.

I tend to find the immature, petty people on here are generally in their late 30s/40s

Cersei61 · 15/06/2019 15:23

newmomof1

The over use of the word 'childish'.

But you are right, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions based on the OP's posts.

SometimesItRains · 15/06/2019 15:28

“You both sound very young” is just patronising and unhelpful. OP, if he is going to sulk all day for saying something incredibly hurtful to you and it sounds like he has acted similarly before, then I think you need to think whether this is something you are willing to put up with for the rest of your life or not?

Pinotjo · 15/06/2019 15:28

I agree with Thequaffle go piss in his shoes

Original poster
Stillmonday · 15/06/2019 15:56

@Cersei61 I only said 'childish' twice! I'm late 30s

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