Please help. At the end of my tether with 4 year old ds

[Whenwilligrowup]

Hoping someone has some sage advice for me as I just can't cope anymore. My ds is 5 next week but developmentally behind for his age, on the SEN register etc. He is a very sweet boy but he just wrecks absolutely everything. This week he has destroyed a nice new umbrella that I bought for myself as a treat and told him not to touch, my phone which I had put on charge and he ran off with it and smashed it, and several toys. This is a regular occurrence. I feel like I can't have anything 😞 our house is in a state of disrepair because of all the damage he has done such as flooding bathrooms, drawing on walls and furniture, just generally wrecking everything. I probably sound like a terrible parent who sits on my bum and lets my kids go wild but Im parenting three dcs with a chronic health condition and no help and i try my best. I will be trying to tidy up one area of the house whilst another area is being trashed!
I'm so sad and drained and feel like we are going to be stuck in this endless toddlerhood forever where I can't have anything nice or leave anything lying around anywhere!
Please help

I've just sent him to his room for chucking stuff down the stairs and I can hear him in there trashing it. I don't have the energy

That sounds exhausting, OP, I feel for you! At least he's trashing his own stuff at the mo.

I'm not sure I have any advice beyond go back to keeping valuable things out of his reach. And lots of exercise? Sorry, probably not anything you haven't tried already.

Naughty step? Took a while to implement, but worked well with my 2yo.

When he breaks something of yours take away one of his fave toys he has to earn it back

I've tried naughty step but he would just laugh and run off and it ended up being me having to spend the whole time putting him back on it so felt more like a punishment for me, lol. So then I switched to sending him to his room but that hasn't seemed to improve matters. I maybe should give the naughty step another chance!
It doesn't help that his older brother who's 6 hypes him up and thats nornally when the trashing starts.
He's been told off so many times for this behaviour but I feel like his impulsive nature overides any self control or knowledge of consequences to his actions!

That sounds really really tough OP.
Could you reach out for support to the senco at his school or nursery? Or in some areas different groups and charities offer support / respite to parents of children with additional needs. Also maybe ask for this thread to be moved to the SEN board, as lots of posters there will have been through this, and may be able to help more.
and xx

My DS has a friend like this (also SN) and their solution is to store everything out of reach or in locked cupboards. Literally every room has one wall basically floor to ceiling cupboards, and the rest of the room is just an unbreakable sofa, dining table, etc. It looks much better than my place actually.

It only works because they have one child though - I imagine it would be difficult with 3.

Yes, it took days or weeks for DS to sit reliably on the step, but then I used it for a few years after that and it did make a difference, so it was worth the initial struggle when I looked back.

It would work best if he sees he's going to miss out on something he enjoys (that trip to the playground you were going to do this afternoon, for example) because you're wasting time leading him calmly back to the step...