I'm scared about taking my mum to Venice

[Goingonagondola]

I really want to take my mum to Venice for her 70th birthday in October. She's never been - and always wanted to. But I'm nervous for various reasons. I've hardly ever been abroad (no money till fairly recently) and the rare times I've been I haven't booked or organised anything. My mum is a nervous, 'flappy' kind of traveller. I have anxiety as well.

I so want to do this for her. She's single and a foster carer who really deserves a break. If I don't take her she'll probably never go. It would be lovely to have the memories to share. I just feel like I need to be a different, totally confident and capable person to do this and I'm not.

Do you think I can do it, or is it a disastrous idea? Please be kind - I know I sound totally lame. Does anyone have any specific tips for how to make the trip easier? I thought we'd stay in a hotel so staff can help if there are any problems. Does anyone know Venice enough to give some tips about how to make the trip as easy as possible please?

*oh, the shame of the missing apostrophe - Palazzo Ducale, or Doge's Palace

We checked out restaurants on TripAdvisor, which was really helpful. Some of them will rip you off, so forewarned is forearmed.

Are you worried about the journey? In airports, there are always people you can ask and they’ll keep you right.

Good luck.

Also, Plumpcious has great practical ideas, thought I still think nothing can beat arriving at the station at sunrise and then getting your first proper sight of Venice going down the Grand Canal to your hotel as the day starts. Fabulous!

You will both love it op. What a fantastic choice of place. Expect it to be extremely expensive but worth it.

I paid for my nervous parents to go and the had a brilliant time. In fact, it kick started their love of travel abroad! As a family we were so pleased to have done it because a few years later their lives changed with sudden catastrophic health deterioration which doesn't allow them to travel anymore. So they have such fond memories of their trip to Venice.

How long are you planning on going for? I went on a sort of tour of Italy on honeymoon, and while Venice is lovely, Florence is amazing and beautiful. If it's just this one trip, would it be worth splitting it between Venice and Florence?

Read some of Donna Leon's Commissario Guido Brunetti books to get a good feel for the city.

I envy you. I love Venice, but will not be able to visit it again. Enjoy!

One thing: a couple of years ago my cousins visited there and one did nothing but whinge about the place, to the extent that she spoilt her sister's visit, because it was "too hot and smelly." We all live in Sydney, so they should be used to the heat. I have been to Venice several times and found that it was not so much the heat, as the high prices in the peak tourist season.One year I was there in May and again in July, and I swear that prices had at least doubled.So just be aware.

Ahh I'm getting all misty-eyed for Venice now, it's probably my favourite place in the world.

Some great advice here I suppose all I would add is that it has to be one of the easiest and least stressful major tourist places I've visited, mainly because there is no road traffic and apart from the main tourist attractions the rest of the city felt very chilled - and we were there in August. One of the joys of the place is just wandering and because the main island is so compact even if you do take a wrong turn you can find your way back to the centre pretty easily (and will probably have discovered somewhere else gorgeous in the meantime). We hardly used any public transport apart from the airport transfer but when we did it was really straightforward - and I always worry about unfamiliar transport systems even in the UK.

Lots of people only come into the city for the day too, and then get put off because they end up spending the middle of the day in the packed bits along with everyone else. When you stay there you get to be there first and last thing and it's a totally different experience.

Go and enjoy :)

Do it OP. As someone who often suffers anxiety it is so worth pushing through it.

Oh one thing I have heard recently is they are banning suitcases with wheels - cos they make such a din on the cobbles. Something worth thinking about before you go.

Have a great time! I went on a day trip there one August and got quite a tanned back where my dress neckline dipped down low at the back.

I would absolutely go, you will never regret it.

I would choose a gondola over a water taxi, it is well worth the money and so serene as you enter deep into the venetian waterways, it was magical.

The water taxis are fun but not the same as they are fast and simply taking you from a to b
Haggle over the price, we did and got the price down a little if you have the confidence.

Dine by the water, this is an absolute must if you are going out for dinner. You can see Venice twinkling in the evening and all the boats coming and going. I can give you some recommendations.

Book a hotel that is central. The ones further out will be a pain and you will have to take water taxis every day into central venice. So not the saving you first thought when you looked at the prices.

Late afternoon, early evening is the perfect time to explore when most of the crowds will have gone.
The shopping is great, so take some extra money if you are able to.

You only live once op, go for it!

Skimming because dd is having a tantrum so this might have been mentioned already but I have Aspergers and over prepare for everything. The one thing that really helps me is to spend a couple of hours on google street view and familiarise myself with the whole place. Then it feels familiar to me even though I've never been and I know my way around!

Can't add too much to what everyone else has said but we went a few weeks ago, taking teenage DCs and my 81-year-old DM. We had a great time despite some rather wet weather, discovering a little seafood restaurant we wouldn't have noticed otherwise because we nipped in to escape the rain.

We stayed in a hotel next to the Madonna dell'Orto which was fab but expensive (it was our honeymoon hotel 20 years ago) but that part of the island is quiet and off the tourist track, so you might want to consider other hotels in that area.

Have a great time.

You can do it. My fail proof system is to look at trip advisor for the city you want to visit and look at the top attractions/restaurants etc for every district you want to visit and then assign a day for each.

So, area one on Monday. We'll visit X,Y,Z. Cafe A and Restaurant B nearby have good reviews (though we might end up choosing somewhere different to eat when we're there, but it's always good to have an idea as a backup!)

Area two on Tuesday etc. Etc.

Then plan how you'll get to each area and in what order to do things. Eg which train or bus or metro you need. Attraction X before lunch and Attraction Y after!

Once you have it all decided, write it all down in a notebook and take that with you.

Be prepared to be flexible, sometimes we swap days to suit the weather, opening hours (turns out lots of museums close on Mondays or Tuesdays!) or just what we fancy.

You can do it! X

My tips are: a) it can be expensive, but if you look up cheaper places beforehand on trip advisor you will be fine.
B) if you stay outside of Venice, you can easily get away from the crowds and get a shuttlebus in. You're guaranteed a good sleep at night. However, if you stay in Venice you can nip back to the hotel to rest.
C) make sure to bring a hat, sensible walking sandals, suncream and a reusable water bottle.
D) as you will see, people of all ages and families from all over the world come to Venice. If they can do it, you can!
E) if your Mum is flappy, don't worry about preventing her flapping too much. Take what precautions you can and then accept that she will probably find something to worry about... Even if there is nothing! Think about what you will do for yourself to avoid being swept up in it.

Oh and don't plan to do too much, you'll need lots of breaks in air conditioned cafes! It's hot out there!

If you plan to use the water buses , be aware that Italians have a different version of queueing and leave loads of time. We almost missed our flight but thankfully DH has sharp elbows so got us on the boat and then one other day I almost ended in the water as the waterbus pulled off abruptly just as I was about to get on it.

If you like planning in advance as much as me, if you have a Google account you can create your own map and add markers of places you want to visit. Then it's easy to see which things are located in the same area and then plan an itinerary.

Sorry, when I said water taxis i meant vaporetti - had been had last night.

Also, while posters are correct that its a lot easier to get the airport bus, I really, really wouldn't miss approaching the city for the first time by water, it's truly magical. Your hotel is v near the grand canal so there will be a ferry stop nearby.

Also it's not that hot in October

Don’t know where you live but I think good travel agent may be best idea
Only thing I would say is if you have a small independent agent near you I have found they seem to give a much better service than the big companies.
Both myself and d.i.l. have had bad experience with Thomsons

Love Venice. Another vote for the Ghetto and Murano/Burano.What I find amazing is that as soon as you turn off the main tourist walkways it becomes so quiet and peaceful.

As far as guidebooks go I love the Rough Guides, they have the most information about all the sights. The pocket guides come with a map. Everyone has their own preference though so it's worth having a look in a bookshop to see which you prefer. Oh, I also love Atlas Obscura for some unusual places to visit.

Completely agree with the advice to arrive via the water the first time you visit. Magical is exactly the right word.

If you have option to arrive by water do that. We flew Ryanair and from there you take bus though at bus station we get vaporetto down Grand Canal to our hotel on Venice Lido (Villa Edera) and it is magical plus no carrying of cases. We often stay on Lido just so can get vaporetto more though you need to choose hotel there by vaporetto if you do that.

Thank you all so much for your helpful and above all kind replies. I'm feeling a bit buoyed up by all your enthusiasm and positivity. Maybe I can do this?! I do really want to be brave and do it, and have this experience with her. I just worry about being out of my depth. Tbh I'm more worried about anxiety than the practicalities. Like I'm worried I'll feel overwhelmed, feel anxious about being away from the kids etc. I get all excited looking at hotels and pictures and then think 'What on earth am I doing? I can't go 2,000 miles in charge of my mum and without my children!'

The flight times are a bit awkward due to where she lives so we'd likely be arriving at night. Do you think coming over the water in the dark is less exciting/magical than getting there in the day?
There's another flight but it's at stupid time of the morning and I'm not sure we can get there that early as I'll be travelling quite a way to come to her nearest airport.

I arrived at night - the Grand Canal was still magical. Perhaps even more so compared to the next time, when I arrived during the day.

Go. It’s so beautiful, it’s worth the trouble.

And do read that website I suggested earlier in the thread - it’s an insiders guide. Really helpful.