Strategies for juggling work/life balance + self care

[UglyDucking]

We both work and have two primary aged kids. I work part time school hours and DH leaves the house at 7am until 630pm.

I guess Im just becoming resentful as it feels like i do all the running around- school/clubs and cleaning/general household tasks. Im exhausted. Cant afford outside help eg cleaner.

Never go out with DH for date nights. No time for me/self care 😣

Any good strategies?!

I think life with 2 young dc is a busy time for most people. You have the advantage of working fewer hours than most, but the disadvantage of your dh not being around to either pull his weight with the morning routine nor the witching hour.
Is there a way of looking at that situation, first ? Does he have a long commute (and if so, driving or sitting on a train) ? Does he have to or Choose to work those hours?
Which jobs does he then do during the evenings and weekends?
Does he get a lunch break which he could use for some household stuff ? (On-line shop / sorting out utilities or bank accounts or phone or other contracts / researching holidays etc?)

What about weekends? Who does what, when?

What do the dc do / take responsibility for ?

A cleaner would be about £20 for two hours, and they get a LOT more done in 2 hours when that is their only focus, that you would get done in your own home, with 2 dc around, and having been at work in the day, in 2 hours. Is there a way you could find that amount - even fortnightly ? Something else that could 'give'? I would sacrifice a lot, before losing my cleaner. She is wonderful.

In terms of 'self care'..... ringfence yourself a particular night each week to do something where you are "you" (not work self, not dh's wife, not c's Mum). Hobby / exercise / singing / volunteering / cinema night / book club / doesn't matter, except it is your time to choose to do with as you will.

As pp mentioned, find the money for a fortnightly cleaner. Just find it. You need help, pay for help.

Do the Moneysavingexpert Money Makeover. You might find a few extra quid so you can afford a cleaner.