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Original poster

Would you not invite child to a party if you didn't like the mum?

28 replies

HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 11:58

Strange one as the child of this parent came to my dd's birthday party. I have noticed since the party she has been off with me hardly wants to take me on whereas before she always said a friendly hello. Nothing has happened that I'm aware of other than realising both our son's know each other and will be going to same secondary school. Ds says he likes and gets along with her Ds.

Today she was handing out birthday invites in front of me and dd at nursery pick up and we were clearly snubbed. Feeling hurt on behalf of dd and can't understand why she's been left out especially considering her dd came to our party. I know you don't have to reciprocate invites but it has upset me a bit.

Anyone think of a reason why dd has been left out other than the minor dislikes me or dd or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 14:00

Bumping before my post disappears down the threads Smile

OP posts:
CitadelsofScience · 13/06/2019 14:08

Well I would but I was never a part of any school cliques. Is she the cliquey type?

woodcutbirds · 13/06/2019 14:12

Some people are unpleasant. Sounds like she is. Maybe it's to do with snobbery - your party was too grand and she can't compete or (a real issue where we live) she turned up and found your lifestyle isn't something she aspires to, so can't be bothered to befriend you. Either way, it's not your loss, but it might be tough for your daughter to understand.

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Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 14:12

No I wouldn't say she was but definitely feel in the body language she doesn't want to talk to me. I made an effort to chat when I realised our boys knew each other but got little back and could tell she doesn't want to know. Fair enough not everyone can like you I guess but to leave dd out is a bit crap imo.

OP posts:
Whoops75 · 13/06/2019 14:13

I have done and will continue to do so.

She is being very petty.

Only reason I could think of is if her child had been hurt/upset at your dds party and you didn’t tell her.

olllsss · 13/06/2019 14:13

She clearly did it on purpose. Cant stand those petty people that get their kids involved. she can be an adult and atleast address the problem with you if there is any.
Anways put it behind you. If dd has realised just plan to do something with her that day.

Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 14:16

Thanks guys yes I guess I shouldn't hurt my head trying to work it out. Still feels hurtful though.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 13/06/2019 14:16

Just ask her if you've upset her in some way.

Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 14:37

Thanks for the suggestion just seems a bit confrontational. Her party her choice if she doesn't want us there for whatever reason I'll just have to suck it up.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 13/06/2019 15:03

No, just ask. Hi out don't have to do it in a nasty or confrontational way. " Hey, look, I'm sorry but it looks like I've upset you in some way. Is there anything I can do to sort it out, because I'd hate to think I've caused a problem". (Smile).

MondeoFan · 13/06/2019 15:11

Thing is you could go round and round in your head thinking about this. I would just let it go over your head, I know it's difficult

Soola · 13/06/2019 15:15

Ask your son? The other boy will have most likely told him why his mum doesn’t like you.

Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 15:26

Yeah soola I asked my son and said he gets along with the son and nothing negative has been said so goodness knows. Will try and not let it get me down.

OP posts:
PeePooAndPaperOnly · 13/06/2019 16:14

I would probably ask her but we know she'll just say nothing is wrong
just keep smiling and stay polite
some people are odd

30not13 · 13/06/2019 16:23

I wouldn't set much by a non-reciprocated invite.. my child has not invited everyone whose party she has been to this year for instance as it's very numbers limited (by the venue/event).

Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 16:25

Exactly don't think I should waste my breath and I won't bother being friendly anymore although that's hard for me as I always like to say a polite hello at drop off and pick up.

OP posts:
Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 16:27

Thanks for your perspective 30 I hadn't thought of that.

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 13/06/2019 16:30

Maybe her dd didn't want yours to come. Maybe they're not as close as you think.
I would just forget about it tbh.

Honeybee27 · 13/06/2019 16:32

I would never penalise a child even if I loathed the mum unless she was likely to spoil the party in some way. Sadly I know one child who never gets invited to parties because her mum has been known to have rows with other mums. If it were just a personality clash or different clique I wouldn't leave the child out. It's not their fault.

PrincessScarlett · 13/06/2019 16:33

Maybe you weren't snubbed at all. Mum might have seemed a bit off because not every child was invited so she was actually a bit embarrassed handing out the invites.

It's a bit silly for you to say you won't bother with her on the back of your child not being invited to a party. Not all children can go to every party.

Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 16:36

Think I am over-thinking it thanks all I'll just be gracious and accept the fact of the non-invite. The kids are 4/5 so there's always plenty parties going on.

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 13/06/2019 16:48

It's not personal.

PrincessScarlett · 13/06/2019 16:54

And on the plus side it's one less present to have to buy.

Original poster
HighlandWorrier · 13/06/2019 17:02

Haha yes Princess that's one way of looking at it although shall I be a devil and give her a card and pressie would that make her feel bad lol.

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 13/06/2019 17:06

I only notice parties my DC have been invited to, not the ones they haven't. Not everyone can go to every party, it's no big deal.