Toddler bedtime

[Saysammy5]

Please help.. my 15 month old won’t go to sleep before 9 pm, not only that but he won’t go to sleep in his own cot bed either, he will only fall asleep on my bed with me , which is where he stays for the rest of the night. How can I transition him to fall asleep in his own bed?

Mine was the same, I just accepted it. It didn't last forever and it didn't bother me or my husband, we were quite happy to have little one around and he grew up fine.

The timing is one issue here and the location is another - keep them separate and tackle them one at a time.

Timing - I'd be looking at adjusting his nap(s). If he's still having two a day, maybe it's time to drop one. Otherwise, perhaps the timing or the length of his nap is causing problems. I'd experiment a bit with these things.

Location - you say he stays in your bed for the rest of the night, but what would he do if you moved him while he was asleep? He might become more used to his cot bed if it becomes the place that he wakes up, but equally it might be more difficult in the interim if he wakes in the night and refuses to go back to sleep there. The other approach I'd consider is putting him down awake in his cot bed and being firm about him staying there, but doing whatever he needs to make him more comfortable with that - cuddling you (if there's room), holding your hand, you talking soothingly to him, etc. Then over time, gradually withdraw your contact and communication with him at bed time - e.g. move a little closer to the door each night.

Unfortunately it sounds like you need to sleep train. It will be hard at first (we did it with DS at 19 months when he was waking hourly, it was soooooo hard) but I can hand on heart say it was one of the best things we've ever done for us as a family. My DSis is a paediatrician and was very supportive and encouraging!

Google the Ferber method - I know it sounds tough, but within 5 nights we went from DS waking every hour to him sleeping through, and he's so much brighter and happier now he's not sleep deprived all the time.

Thank you for your replies, @PowerslidePanda in answer to your question, he will let me put him in his bed once he is asleep but he wakes an hour or so later and won’t go back to sleep in there, so he comes back into my bed. Just not sure where to start on this and truthfully I’m going to struggle 😕x

Mine is the same. I struggle to make him nap before about 2-3pm. He rarely goes to sleep before 9pm and tonight it was 11pm. He also screams until he’s sick if I put him in his cot, he’ll only sleep in bed with me. I don’t know what the solution is. I’m hoping he’ll grow out of it!

I think you need to want to sort it OP in order to have the resolve to see through your plan.

The 9pm bedtime could either be because he's napping too much/too late in the day or, conversely not enough. If he's overtired that will make bedtime more difficult.

If you're sure he's napping in the day around the right amount then I would try some form of sleep training. Different methods work better for different children/parents.
My DD will only mess around and be more agitated if I'm present so when we've had tricky bedtime phases I've left her a couple of minutes then gone back, gradually increasing the time I'm away. This works well for her (but wouldn't work if she wasn't trapped safely in her cot.)

@Peachsummer glad I’m not alone! I tried to put him back in his cot twice last night but he still ended up in my bed.