TikTok

[twosoups1972]

Can anyone tell me about TikTok please? My 12 year old dd currently only has WhatsApp, I have said no to other SM such as Instagram, Snapchat etc.

She's now campaigning for Tik Tok saying the min age is 12 and for WhatsApp it's 16. I am really not happy about any SM tbh but I agreed to WhatsApp so she could be on our family group chat.

I said no to my dd 11 having it. I thought that external people can see her videos and comment on them and didn't like that idea. I might be wrong though.

Isn't it the new musical.ly? That was a thing a few years ago and I said no then because I'd heard too many bad reviews.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-47813350

Yep it's the new musically, my 12 wants it but I've told him no. I don't like the idea of randoms being able to contact them but I'm really strict with social media so they don't have any of it yet

Dd claims she is sensible and mature and on WhatsApp she is never on a group where she doesn't know everyone. I am really not keen though.

@fenella thank you for that link. Is it safer if they have a private account?

I would rather be on the strict side tbh. And my older dds (16 and 18) tell me SM is starting to die out. Many of their peer group are losing interest. Dd2 has deleted instagram and feels so much better for it.

What's app is just a messenging service though, it's not social media so I don't thinks it's the same. I've got a sensible one and a not so sensible one but neither of them have got tik tok but I know alot of their friends have so it can be difficult saying no to them

DD's school has banned it after a spate of bullying and sharing of videos.

There was a massive thread on here about TikTok a couple of weeks ago.

Lots of people had different views on the safety of this app and their effect on their children. I'm on the 'no' side:

Accessing of videos/advertising on inappropriate material

Interactions with strangers

Self esteem

Risk taking behaviour for likes and follows

Bullying

Sharing of the videos by others outside the app.

Like most of these type of apps you can set accounts to private, friends only etc. Videos are only public if you allow them to be.

I wouldn’t allow her to get Tik Tok unless you’re prepared to supervise it very heavily (i.e checking daily.) It’s very popular with kids around that age and therefore sadly is also quite popular with older men with not so pure intentions.

@moonsick if you have a private account does that make it safer?

@mabel I do check her phone anyway but I feel uncomfortable about this. Would it make a terrible parent to say no even with the peer pressure?

It didn't make any difference because the videos were shared by other teens filming the screen on their phones and capturing the video that way instead. They only needed one person to have access to the private account.

Unless your DD knows and trusts everyone she adds, won't fall out with them, won't post anything silly, embarrassing, rude or mean etc, for me it isn't worth the risk.

The videos from DD's school are still secretly circulating a month on. One video got one of the victims a separate suspension because she was mocking a teacher on it and that is a violation of the school's internet policy even though it was supposed to be private.

Thank you @moonsick that's really helpful, it really is a minefield if you're not technically inclined like me! It's hard to keep up.

Absolutely it would not make you a terrible parent! I would say no too tbh.

Thank you. I’d rather be on the strict side for now, 12 is still very young.

Like most of these type of apps you can set accounts to private, friends only etc. Videos are only public if you allow them to be

As Moonsick points out this is not true. Once anyone else can see your photo / video etc you lose all control over it. It is not possible to prevent media from being shared.

My DD has just downloaded this, I think we may delete it. She told me it was for children, and has so far posted a film of our cat. That article from the BBC was really worrying - we'll be deleting it I think.

Would it make a terrible parent to say no even with the peer pressure?

No it wouldn't. You parent how you want to. DD is 10 and every single one of her peer group has a phone. We've said no, she can have one the summer term of Year 6 when she will be walking to school on her own. It has caused no end of rows but tough, that is our stance.

My dd is 15 she has tik tok and just watches people doing music and dance
Am I been naive

There is an app. By the NSPCC and O2. You can type in the app your child wants to use and you get all the info on if it’s safe or not,

Net Aware. Is the name. Also a free phoneline to call and ask questions

Tik Tok is nothing to worry about, everyone is friendly and like other social medias will keep you private but still give you the good time you need. I only have one problem with this app. When my son was creating his "Tik Tok" he was trying to whip the nay nay but then he stepped on the power cable and was eletricuted badly, he is still recovering in the hospitable but don't worry he's expected to come out in 2 - 3 years depending on the internal damage. Overall this app is amazing and I highly recommend this app for other children.

(P.S Don't leave the power cable where it can be stepped on)

• Helen McKlenen