ASD behaviour and child services

[siblingrivals]

I am posting here for traffic, please don't kick me down anymore than I am already feeling - that is not helpful.

DS (11) has autism, for a long time we have had issues relating to his behaviour and anger. We have tried to access services and support regarding this but everytime we do it is either quickly withdrawn or not particularly helpful.

Things are escalating, we beared with it over the SATS period but it has not improved - in someway it has just got worse.

He gets so, so angry - no particular triggers, apart from everything, literally anything someone does can set him off in a torrent of abuse. You can not ask a reasonable question without extreme anger, his language is absolutely dreadful, totally, totally foul and he just thinks nothing of it.

If something doesn't go his way (basically doesn't get exactly what he wants) he absolutely thrashes the house - and by what he wants I mean things like no-one else being allowed to be in the same room as him (as in the lounge)

He seems to absolutely hate his younger sibling (7), lots of shouting at her and physical aggression, but has recently taken to calling her a bit**. I got sent a message at work today calling her this. Tonight he decided that he had to sit on the settee that she was on so basically sat on her and really hurt her finger.

We have tried to address his behaviour, but I need to protect her and I can't do it - she is 7 years old, she doesn't deserve this at all.

I am trying to get another referral for CAHMS, but I am thinking I need to contact children's services as well for her, I am struggling so much to keep her safe, it isn't fair on her, plus she has a lot of learnt behaviour so we really struggle with her too. He just screams in her face, it is just a nightmare.

Will children's services help? I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have an 13 yr old too, she doesn't seem to get quite as much thrown at her, but she is getting really upset at the atmosphere in the house, she even left for school the other day in tears.

I just feel so sad

Thanks

I am a teacher in a special needs school so I do understand your difficulties although obviously not quite the same as with siblings. You are definitely doing the right thing by getting as much help as possible. You may be entitled to respite and funding for a PA ie personal assistant to take your son out for a few hours each week. You may need the GP or school to push things on the fact he has hurt his sister should move things on apace . I hope this helps x

I feel your pain OP. My dd has ASD and only this eve I took her to the GP to discuss. She hit me whilst in the surgery so at least the gp could see what she can be like.
She's seen camhs but was discharged but the gp is going to push for another appointment. Plus I'm going back to children's services. Is that something you can do? Hugs OP it is so soul destroying dealing with it day after day.

If you're on Facebook, check 'The SEND VCB project, support for parents group'. Real solidarity and help on there. X

Thank you both. I have requested to join the FB group and have been looking into the local children's team. I will try and contact them tomorrow.

citti sorry to hear you are going through similar.

I rang children services today (disability team) and left a message for them to contact me. Unfortunately the local phone mast is on the blink and I have no phone signal in the office.

Hopefully I will get to speak to them at some point.