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I want to thank my ex for dumping me.

6 replies

TitusP · 11/06/2019 13:52

Well not really... that would be weird but he just popped up as a suggestion on Instagram so curiosity got the best of me.

Ex dumped me about 10 years ago very unceremoniously whilst I was at work at my Saturday job as a cashier. In front of the whole store. At the time I was understandably mortified and distraught. He then proceeded to tell me all about his amazing new girlfriend etc. My self esteem was shot at the time, I quit my job shortly after and decided to go to university.

Fast forward 10 years and I have a degree and further post grad qualifications, have a great job, an amazing husband I met at uni, we have travelled and now have a lovely home, we have supported each other through bereavements and hard times and are now about to start TTC. It's been hard work but really rewarding.

Instagram tells me he still lives at home with his parents, in the same small town we are from, works in the same job at the same supermarket. Everything is the same he just looks 10 years older. I am sure he is happy, he is still with the same woman so it was obviously the right decision for him (however much of a dick he was about it at the time), but I can't help but feel grateful that he dumped me. I am so glad that I got out of our town, saw the world, got more of an education and found a man who helped build my self esteem and is a wonderful partner to go through life with. I think if ex hadn't have dumped me I'd be so frustrated and miserable right now.

Just to clarify I will definitely not be thanking him for dumping me, but it's given me a real moment of clarity for how life could have turned out and to be grateful for how it has turned out. I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar moment as such?

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 11/06/2019 14:04

No, but well done. Flowers

AnnaNimmity · 11/06/2019 14:09

well my ex dumped me and it was horrendous. But without that I wouldn't have had to quit my job, take 6 months off to regroup and completely evaluate what I wanted in life. This ended up with me being offered out of the blue a fantastic new job in a completely new role to my old one. I wouldn't even have been available for the job, or even thought about it if I hadn't been dumped!

So actually I am grateful to him in a really strange way. I love my new world and role and just wouldn't be here if I hadn't hit rock bottom first. And 8 months post dumping, I'm in a much better place than I was before. My life has really gone from strength to strength in many ways which I just couldn't have forseen

happyhillock · 11/06/2019 14:14

I wouldn't be thanking him for dumping you, i'd just say you were wondering how he's doing then tell him how much youve achieved and how good life is, i did a simular thing with my EXH told him he did me a big favour by having an affair (he's not with her now) i'm much happier with my DP.

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AnnaNimmity · 11/06/2019 14:20

I really believe that things generally work out - you just can't see it at the time necessarily!

A few weeks ago, I was cycling home and I also had the moment of clarity that none of this would have happened without him dumping me!

tobypercy · 11/06/2019 14:33

I see posts from a my of my Exes on Facebook periodically and have similar thoughts about my lucky(?) escapes Grin
Definitely keeping it to myself though.

TitusP · 11/06/2019 18:03

@happyhillock I am not sure it's a can of worms I want to open... Also I am not really sure it would matter to him as he seems pretty content with his boring life.

Thanks @Singlenotsingle! I really had a moment of you go woman when I thought about it!

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