Friends , but was a loving affair

[keepsmiling1985]

Try and keep this short.

Never have cheated but 3 years ago both eyes crossed and boom. Talked and had fun but did not leave my number. Exactly 1 year later seen each other and we started an affair. He has had a number of them in the past but for me this was my first. Laid the cards out on the table and said him and her do not sleep together ( have actually seen for myself ) and have no love lost between them. Financial reasons. She holds the purse strings though he's not short.

Okay all of last year was amazing. Fun , laughter and the other stuff. Love and passion for each other was infectious. Bought me a committed diamond ring too. Few disagreements through the year but we still managed to get out when we could.
Plus the odd night away .

This year has changed. Told me a few months ago he just wants to be bbf's , still love me but no future commitment or relationship. I think deep down i could see it coming. I know him better than he knows himself. Its now just coffee , odd meal one tea time. No weekends , it use to be once a month , no hotels. I then come to the decision no bedroom either. He said it was like a stab in the heart. I'm i being unfair.?? I love and adore him and look forward to seeing him but is it worth just 4 hours of my time per week ?? He said if he was 10 years younger he would take me and the kids on. Thing is he is too truthful sometimes and i want to scream at him.

He is very sociable and a busy guy , said nobody is out there who would ever take my place and i will always be his friend. When he is at his local pub he dont like it if i go out. He also got grown up kids with grand kids and loves them to bits. He is slightly older them myself.

I want to block him out of my life but some days he just keeps me going.

Only my close aunties is aware of this and just wants me happy. My dh loves me and the trust is there but i can't help my feelings. I too got teenage and grown up children too.

Seen him yesterday for 3 hours and he wants thursday tea time too.

Oh and he hates me going out because of the way we met and any man would chat me up. I am not like that though.

Please help me on this one as im sick of constantly thinking of us. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Xx

OP, in the nicest possible way, you are gullible and deluded and portraying yourself as a victim. You know nothing about the reality of his marriage. Him claiming he would have 'taken and your children on' if he'd been ten years younger is pathetic -- sure he would. Him buying you a ring does not imply anything at all about being 'committed'. And you can, absolutely, help your feelings, or you can feel them as intensely as you like and not act on them.

Your husband being a lazy alcoholic is irrelevant. End that relationship if you are unhappy. I guarantee you you won't see your affair partner for dust if he thinks you're free and expecting him to leave his wife.

you husband being lazy alcoholic is making you vulnerable to fall into such circumstances.
in my opinion you should consider your marriage first, is it working for you or not.
the Om; just forget about him.

Multiple affairs in the past? And future presumably. It sounds like you are just one in a long line of many. It also sounds like he has met the next gullible twit, and he's trying to let you down gently so you won't cause a scene.
You need to work on your own self esteem, otherwise you will continue to fall for this type of absolute bullshit!

There is a lot of I and me in your posts OP.

This is so sad, you've been completely taken in by him and he has taken advantage of your vulnerability. I assume he flatters you a lot too. Fine, it's your choice to be involved but it WILL end in tears. Massive ones.

You’re an idiot!
You have a husband and children.
What the feck do you think you’re doing?
Grow the feck up!!

Oh and he hates me going out because of the way we met and any man would chat me up. I am not like that though.

Umm...not to sound harsh, but you are currently cheating on your husband are you not?

Sounds controlling. Block and run!

Laid the cards out on the table and said him and her do not sleep together ( have actually seen for myself )

What do you mean by this?

It sounds like he has either moved on or is trying to make things work with his wife

PP suggestion of actually making a plan for Thursday and then saying no is a good idea

I wanted him to always love me and not leave me.

If he does ever leave his wife and make you his 'number 1' you've just created a vacancy for a new side-piece.

I'd like to say you deserve better, but you don't. You're a cheat and a mug. Your husband deserves better, as does his wife. Crack on, keep messing about with everyone's lives so that you and your scuzzy OM can keep deluding yourselves that you're star-crossed lovers.

Thankyou all for taking the time with your replies. Very much appreciated.

I am concentrating on my family and to see if we can work on our marriage.

He rang earlier ( whilst i was talking about it to my auntie ) and i was straight to the point. No longer doing 4 hours a week to get caught and hurting so many important people in our lives. He was sad and said i still want to keep in touch with you. That one would be difficult but i can do it.

We all know feelings is difficult just to let go within a few days but i will keep focused and busy , people who care for me around and i will be fine. As for him , really don't know and tbh i don't want to know.

Thankyou once again xx

He was sad and said i still want to keep in touch with you. That one would be difficult but i can do it.

Don't be ridiculous. Block him and drop all contact.

And stop lying to your husband.

Yep sorry forgot to say. 2 numbers blocked plus messages.