Has anyone not done what dead person wants when it comes to dividing up their chattels?

[Legoless]

Namechanged for this.

DH is sole inheritor (and executor) of his father's estate which includes all of his mother's possessions (she died a few years ago).

When alive FIL said he would like all of MIL's designer things to go to DD (We have DD and DS, still primary school age).

I had a look - it is largely designed suitcases etc or things like Chanel sunglass cases. Not to my taste but maybe DD will like when older. But there it loads - we don't really have room to store it and I am not sure that DD should have it all.

Do you think it would be ok to choose a couple of pieces to keep for DD (at the moment she does not know there are any) to remember her grandmother by and to sell the rest - we think maybe about £3k worth and put that money into an account split between dd and ds?

Yep when my dear grandmother died she left VERY specific instructions about what was to be done with all her stuff, which relative was to have what etc. The trouble is she was a hoarder and her 3 storey house was bursting at the seams with 30 years + worth of accumulated possessions, a mixture of valuable but old-fashioned furniture and antiques, 100s of books, photos, items with little-no monetary value but lots of sentimental worth, and rubbish/junk (piles of old newspapers for instance). No-one had enough room in their house for everything they were 'meant' to have as per her wishes, but no-one wanted the whole lot to be handed over to house-clearers either. It was a nightmare and caused a certain amount of ill feeling which rumbled on for years afterwards but eventually the executors (my Dad and his brothers) decided that there was to be a month's 'amnesty' for all beneficiaries to take what they personally wanted to keep from the house (first 'dibs' on items going as per MIL's instructions, including the particularly sentimental pieces), then they swept through and sold anything left which had value, proceeds being divided up equally, then the rest was binned. It was sad to see and Grandma would have hated it, but realistically you cannot hold onto items indefinitely at the unreasonable wish of someone no longer with us, it won't help them and it certainly won't help you...

Your solution sounds perfectly reasonable, maybe check with your DD if there are any particular items she remembers/associates with her Grandma? I treasure the (costume) jewellery that was my 'inheritance' from her house, it's not worth anything and not really something I wear regularly as it's not modern/my taste but associated strongly with her!

Dad barely remembers her tbh. She was 3 when she died. We are also going to keep MILs jewellery for her.

Dd. Not dad.

@Loyaultemelie wow your dd got royally screwed over! Probably too late to rectify now... If you have 'let it go' you are a better person than me!
x x

My grandmother asked that in lieu of flowers at her funeral, a collection be made with the proceeds going to Cats Protection. My grandfather disapproved of this, and sent the money to his own pet charity, the RNIB, because he viewed it as more worthy.

When my grandfather died, he specified that a collection be made for the RNIB. My uncle, as executor of the will, sent the money to Cats Protection.

VenusClapTrap I love this.

These stories make me think the ‘Swedish art of death cleansing’ is the way to go with possessions.