Help me get through this

[Blablaa]

I have to go somewhere tonight where there will be a load of people I can’t bear to be around. It was pre planned, I’m there because of DH, can’t cancel, pretty much have to go. My mental health has been suffering recently and in some ways it would be good for me to be around people, except these are people I have to force myself to be around at the best of times. I crave meaningful friendships and relationships, when my mental health is at a low point I need that even more. These people are acquaintances at best, and are generally polite when face to face although loud and obnoxious at times but are judgemental and have said things that I have then found out about. I need some methods for coping and ways to ‘fake it till I make it’ I know that DH will go off chatting and I will be ignored whilst they talk over me, any interaction I will have to initiate (tiresome) and will hate every minute of it.

Bump

I feel for you, and equally I hate situations like this. I'd personally sit there and not speak unless spoken to. Stay polite and upbeat no matter how awkward the conversation, and keep in mind that it's only for a few hours. Please also seek some support for your mental health if you haven't already. Take care and I hope you have a pleasant evening.

Thanks Squiff for responding I haven’t been to see anyone for MH, I don’t even have a diagnosed condition. I just think I’m an introvert and it gets worse sometimes and sometimes I can deal with it! These people aren’t the most pleasant and it’s a chore to be around them. I am forcing myself to go.

I can relate.

1. Alcohol, just enough to take the edge off.
2. Practise set phrases.
3. Be true to yourself.
4. Don't divulge anything personal. Keep your cards close to your chest.
5. Be a listener, then when you've had enough excuse yourself to the bar/loo.
6. Fuck em.

This is probably rubbish advice, but it's what I would do...

I would take my kindle, and if it got too much or someone was rude then I would slip away quietly to another room or the car and read. Especially if dh had left me to go and mingle. Just knowing I had that option would help.

I hope it goes OK though, sometimes the events we dread can turn out to be good.

Try not to be in your head and just focus on where you are and who you're with. You might enjoy it and if not then, as Silversky70 says, fuck em

Have something nice to look forward to when you get in. Make the bed all cosy, set up a favourite book or look forward to a cuddle with DH once it’s all done. It will feel worse when there and then it will just be a memory. Be kind to yourself, Blaa.

I need to remember number 4 and 6!!!

“A load of people that I can’t bear to be around”

They are “acquaintances at best” and you have decided loud, obnoxious and judgemental.

OP to put it bluntly - this isn’t going to be pleasant. You don’t like what appears to be an entire group of people, and it is likely that is quite apparent to I doubt anyone will be tripping over themselves to talk to you

It’s not going to help your mental health
So duck out.

Be honest with your partner about the impact on your mental health of going

this is the sort of thing I don't go to in my personal life for similar reasons

when I have to go for work reasons, I use the advice of a senior colleague - "just pretend you're someone else for the evening".

You know Julianna Marguiles hums "if I only had a brain" in her head when she's on the red carpet? Not the same I know, but it makes me giggle to remember it.

hope it's all right. hope also you don't go to any more of these things. I've certainly annoyed close ones by refusing these things for mental health reasons, including close family.

but if I don't put my health first, who will?!

oh just saw you don't have a diagnosis

I did say to loved ones that I'd have to take rare and precious diazepam to get through it - I do have diagnosed anxiety and depression - my mum immediately got it, though I can't say all the family members are the same.

They do talk to me, a lot in fact, but aren’t genuine. It’s over now. I survived.

I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, and the fact that they are so judgemental is why I asked for techniques to cope. There was no option to duck out unfortunately.