Newborn questions

[wombatron]

Hi all. I'm due DC 1 in around 7 weeks, and and have been slowly working my way through the books, the lists all the other things. I've got so many questions that I can't seem to answer, so wondered if anyone fancied sharing some words of wisdom?

Baby sleeps in our room till 6 months for help with prevention of SIDS - does it matter where in the room the crib is? I don't like the next to me and it's not suitable for our bed and the space we have. But is it that it can be at the foot of the bed? Anywhere not near a window/radiator?

Do I literally have to take the baby everywhere during the first 6 months? Like if I shower? Make a cup of tea? I can sort of see showering, but if I'm in the lounge and am 10 steps away in the kitchen, what if I am getting a drink?

Is there anything you wish you bought that no one told you about that would have made your life easier that you discovered later?

Any hints and tips? I have a 'box' in each room with nappies, wipes, grows, muslin cloths etc. But I'm sure that there's hundreds of things out there that can help.

Did anyone have a home birth that would like to share their experiences? Hospital bag must haves?

Thanks!

There is no reason why you couldn't put the cot at the end of the bed.
Who says you have to literally take the baby everywhere with you for 6 months? I left mine while I fetched a drink/ went to the toilet/ answered the door etc. I usually put her in a bouncy chair in the bathroom while I showered. To be honest, it is easier with a newborn who stays where you leave them than when they are mobile and potentially destroying the house while you are on the toilet!
I recommend Amazon Prime, so that when you suddenly realise in the middle of the night what it is that will make your life easier, you can order it and it will be with you in hours or the next day!! For me, this was most importantly used to get breast shields without which I would not have continued breastfeeding. We already have discounted Amazon Prime through DH's work though, maybe it isn't worth it if you don't already pay however much it costs.

DS is 5 weeks old so we're still learning, but...

We have the Next To Me next to our bed - the first couple of weeks I had to check he was breathing every time I woke up! Also much easier if EBF.

We have a Moses basket and bouncy chair and DS is usually in that if not in my arms or the Boba sling. I leave him in a different room for a few minutes if I'm getting a drink/food or going to the toilet, and sit him in the bouncy chair in the bathroom if I'm showering.

We have nappies/changing mat etc in the nursery and another in the lounge where we spend most of the day.

We wouldn't manage without the Boba sling, a folding changing mat for the bag, loads of muslins, nursing chair, Moses basket, bouncy chair, baby grows with poppers down the front (some don't have this!), a variety of sizes of baby clothes, water bottles dotted around to remind me to drink, Ewan the dream sheep, newborn dummies.

Can't help with the home birthing, but strongly recommend the Positive Birth Company digital pack.

Good luck with everything!

Bookmarking

This thread might be useful too:

3 purchases you couldn't have managed without www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3457902-3-purchases-you-couldn-t-have-managed-without

Hi op, we had our crib at foot of bed for a while and all was ok.

You're fine to get a drink etc as long as it's quick and baby obviously in a safe place.

Is there anything you wish you bought that no one told you about that would have made your life easier that you discovered later?

Sling. Boots nipple compresses (pricey at a tenner for a box but brilliant if breastfeeding). Can't think of anything else.

Any hints and tips? I have a 'box' in each room with nappies, wipes, grows, muslin cloths etc. But I'm sure that there's hundreds of things out there that can help.

We used cotton wool and warm water for the first couple of weeks as wipes can be cold! Little known tip: applying a tiny bit of olive oil to baby's bum as soon as you can once they've been born makes the first poo so easy to wipe off (I'm sure family and friends have all enjoyed telling you how sticky and hard it is to wipe away!)

Hospital bag must haves?

Baby clothes in tiny baby, newborn and 0-3 months as you never know what size baby will need once he or she is here!

I didn't have a home birth but a good hospital bag item is a sports cap bottle of lucozade. Drink when in labour then rinse and keep the empty bottle. Then every time you need a wee once you've had the baby you can use it to pour luke warm water on your bits as you wee! This helped me massively for the first ten days or so. There is lots of similar advice about postpartum recovery on YouTube etc, it can be so easy to overlook or forget about postpartum recovery but I really would advise you to give it some thought. For example: comfy, baggy clothes, batch cooked freezer meals / ready meals, pain killers beside your bed all ready to go.

I hope this thread doesn't leave you feeling too overwhelmed and good luck!

My doula made me an amazing mix of rose and tea tree oil to add to warm water for the post birth toilet trips. Totally awesome.
Yes to Amazon Prime, eve though I didn't want to give the tax evading bastards any money. But there will be stuff you need/want urgently.
I took baby into bathroom with me for showers and to go to the toilet. Still do and he's 20 months! But he would trash the house now if I left him alone.

Regarding taking your baby everywhere then just be sensible. In a bouncy chair or in Moses basket while you make a cup of tea or have a quick shower, as long as within earshot, fine.

I put mine to nap in their own room from about 3 months (with a monitor and movement sensor pad) and bedtime from about 4/5 months. They never slept for long though and we ended up cosleeping for years

I had a "birth in a box" at home for my first.

Rule number one. HAVE A TEST RUN! We didn't and the hose connector thing didn't for my tap. DH has to hold it and burnt all of his hand 🤣

We had co sleep cot for second and I bitterly regretted not having one for first.

It was amazing. Baby needs feeding, your right there! Feed and safely place back in cot with ultra minimal disruption , disturbance for both...feed and sleep.

Being in some pain and aching after first straight forward birth it was still uncomfortable sitting up, half asleep, stretching to retrieve baby from Moses... then trying to transfers back, straining without waking or disturbing baby.

Honestly, so so much easier having her right by Me,she slept like a dream! I was the most rested of All NCT mums.

One mum actually had baby in different room but then moaned like buggery about having too get up,out of bed, into different Room which by this point baby's quite awake!! Waking herself up and she couldn't see what she's doing wrong

Least movement, disruption...

For first couple of months I believe in forth trimester.... IE don't try and do too much with baby... relax and let it slowly come into the world

Also re taking baby everywhere....

We had portable rocker thing in living Room and it was super easy to plonk baby in that whilst in shower and on loo but...baby sleeping in Moses basket down stairs... with an ear out will be fine.

It couldn't have gone any better!

I recommend doing a trial run if you're hoping to have a water birth so you know how long it takes to inflate and fill the pool. Get lots of old towels and a shower curtain to put on the floor. We had all the stuff I thought I'd need in a bag even though it was a planned home birth just in case we needed to go into hospital and so it was easy for my husband to find things when I wanted them. I did hypnobirthing (The Positive Birth Company's digital pack), which really helped.

Yes polka. I'm the same - hospital bag is packed just in case of transfer, worst case is that it gets used, best case is that I've got a survival bag for a couple of days. Did you just have the 1 home birth or was one dry land as well? Or was that someone else?

Lots of lovely tips and help here. It's so interesting when you get wider views than your immediate family and friends - everyone's saying how they take them everywhere they go and I was just wondering how that's even possible if you aren't into baby wearing.

@wombatron personally I would always go for a water birth, I only had a dry land birth as we didn't have the space for a pool. We've moved now so next babe will definitely be in a pool. With a dry land as a pp said comfort for the knees is a must. I used vet bedding over a tarp to birth on but spent labour in the bath or on the ball. Personally I went for a hands off birth so midwives were there to monitor but to let me do my thing, I caught baby and made sure we had the 'golden hour' while attached. It was great to be able to have a shower and crawl into my own bed after birth, especially with dh bringing tea and cheese toasties it was a much more relaxed experience than my first birth which felt very clinical. But, just remember you can change your mind at any (most) points and always go to a MLU or hospital if you feel you need to.

I planned a home birth with my first and ended up transferring in. Hadn't packed a bag for some reason, so it's a good idea that you have :)

Then for DS2 I had a planned hospital birth but he needed to be transferred. I'd put all his stuff with my postnatal stuff and DH ended up getting confused and taking the wrong bags away XD - I am the queen of unpreparedness.

I don't like to put my newborns down for about 2 months TBH... DS1 that was easy. DS2 DH ended up taking 5 months parental leave (not in UK) but he actually really liked chilling out by himself, so did put him down.

The UK is extremely conservative in insisting same room as you including for all naps. No other country interprets the research that way although almost everyone agrees you should keep the baby in your room for the main part of the night when most of you are sleeping when they are first born. Again the length of time they should room-share for seems to vary. Take that as you like.

It's OK to be in a baby bubble for 3-6 months and just live breathe and sleep baby, if you want to. Otherwise if you want to be out and about do it. Just not too much too soon. For the first few weeks you really need to be careful about doing too much walking, especially if you plan to have more DC. My friend a mother of four kept telling me off for things like walking around shops. "Your hips are supposed to be getting back together". She is v wise. When you know this is a thing it makes it easier to listen to your body.

Crisps - loud for the baby! When you're trying to eat without waking them or making them look around especially if they are on you at the time. It's the rustly packet really but the loud crunch as well, reason for (tiny) biscuits is you can fit a whole one in your mouth without biting it. I just found that on a maternity ward when I wanted to eat in the middle of the night because breastfeeding makes you ravenous, I didn't want to be making what felt like a gigantic noise, and I was sat in bed so I didn't want crumbs or melted chocolate everywhere either.

Baby sleeps in our room till 6 months for help with prevention of SIDS - does it matter where in the room the crib is?

Have it next to the bed for your own sanity, I'd say. You will be waking up so often, and it's so much easier to pull baby into bed with you to feed (or swing legs over the side of the bed if you're so tired it's dangerous) than to have to get up and cross the room again and again.

Do I literally have to take the baby everywhere during the first 6 months? Like if I shower? Make a cup of tea? I can sort of see showering, but if I'm in the lounge and am 10 steps away in the kitchen, what if I am getting a drink?

No, you definitely don't. I mean, showering I'd say yes in the early days, just because you can't see or hear them over the noise of the water. But otherwise, no.

Is there anything you wish you bought that no one told you about that would have made your life easier that you discovered later?

Lansinoh cream and nipple compresses (brand name is something like Mam I think, but anyway they're in a purple and white box and Boots sell them).
Stretchy sling for easy napping and getting stuff done while baby is tiny
The book Sweet Sleep (if you're breastfeeding) - gives all the science behind safe sleep and sifts the wheat from the chaff where SIDS risk is concerned. I never had the courage to take baby into bed before I read it, but got much more sleep after that.
Insulated cup to ensure you get a hot cup of tea. I often prepared one in advance, and then drank it while feeding.

Hospital bag must haves?
Plastic bags for dirty clothes. Button-down nightie or PJ top for feeding. Light dressing gown for wandering around the ward, especially when other women's husbands and families etc are around and you may feel exposed in just a nightie. Also a pair of really loose shoes or flip-flops. I had to come home in slippers as even my biggest shoes wouldn't fit over my swollen, fluid-filled feet! And whoever recommended prunes etc above is a genius. Hospital food is not known for its nutrition or fibre, and the last thing you need post-birth is constipation.

Oh how I wished I had asked these questions before having DD.

You seemed to have covered the majority of the basics in you hospital bag. Depending if you end up at hospital or not and what your hospital is like i’d recommend plenty of snacks. I was in for three days and the hospital food was not up to much at all. Also wish i’d taken something to keep me occupied before my waters broke and I was in full blown labour (induction).

After birth bibs, bibs and more bibs. DD went through ten the first night she was born.

Home DD was in her Moses basket. Kept it a few feet from the bed as it forced me to get up and gave me a chance to wake up for night feeds. Also easy to transport between rooms. You should be fine for boiling the kettle etc.

I don't take my baby in the bathroom with me while I shower!!!! Crib or chair wherever she is in the house. My crib is at the end of the bed not at the side - I get up it's no big deal.
My first child was in his own room by 3 months because he was too big for the crib - I expect Second child will probably be the same!

These were the best things I bought:

www.marksandspencer.com/2-piece-pure-cotton-bundlers/p/p60161946?extid=ps_gglpla_Kids&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=CjwKEAjw__fnBRCNpvH8iqy4xl4SJAC4XERPx9qp7MHoSTyOTknu1mEebtVz3UOx1nCLbSXZLhja7xoCv2Xw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

In the early weeks, they poo every feed so need changing frequently in the night, these allow easy access, not fiddling with poppers (which are hard in poor lighting and when you are exhausted).

I had a homebirth.

I couldn’t eat or drink in either of my labours. I started both times with V and D and the vomiting started again if I tried to eat or drink anything!

@Frith2013 yep I was the same. I had a student trying to force feed me jelly babies. I don't even like them...surprised I didn't actually loose it with her!

Thanks again all, some really useful bits and bobs. I'm aware I may not eat during labour, but all snacks are packed for either during or for after as I have been told I'll most likely be starving!!

MyHummy was a game changer. If I have another I will buy one straight away. Well worth the £50. Excellent customer service too, sent us another hummer when we thought ours broke. Replied straight away to emails giving advice on the best type of batteries to use.

Depending on how your home is set up, buy a couple of cheap bouncy chairs. We had a rocking one but it was too much faff to carry it to the bathroom when I wanted a shower so I got a cheap bouncer for the bathroom/kitchen area.

I took newborn DC to the toilet once, after that I realised they could manage in their crib for the 30 seconds it took me to go.

Buy things as you go along as you don't know what your baby may or may not like.

We bought a baby bath which was pointless and a seat to go in the bath was much better. I ended up having baths with DC while they were very little but only when DH was around to take them out of the bath and leave me to bathe in peace after

Get some flapjacks in for after, they're filling, can be eaten with one hand and help with milk supply

Don't buy cute baby clothes until she is older than 6months. They will need to be changed so much when they are little that it's so much better to have them in sleepsuits

See I'd say the opposite! Don't have to be fancy ones but bodysuit, tops and trousers asap for me. I found slipping off a pair of joggers and just doing the poppers on a bodysuit for all those nappy changes much easier than faffing about with all the poppers on sleep suits all the time.