Am I a horrible friend?

[worriedfriend123]

Would you tell your friend you don't think it's a good idea for her to have another child if you didn't?

I'd just tell them it's their decision to make, which it is really...

Depends on the circumstances really, and how strong the friendship is.
So if she's in an abusive relationship, for example, or living on the poverty line, then yes, I would say it wasn't a good idea.

Why do you ask?

I'm worried about giving too much detail in case she finds it...she may be on here.

Can I message you?

Got your PM.

I won’t give away any of your details but suffice to say I would agree with you.

You’ll get loads of responses to your thread now though asking why you bothered posting it etc so maybe just give people a brief outline? Without a lot of detail!

Depends entirely on why

Impossible to say

if she was in an abusive relationship, financial, coercive control or violent then no. don't have another child.

if there is one disabled child already then yes I would consider another child, if I think it was copable with. (depends in circumstances.)

if the parent is a bit crap and hates it, then adding an extra child is not going ot help.
if there were more than two disabled children already, then probably not depending on severiity as it can be very hard work. depends on the other parent though.

if you were living in a small space, eg one bed flat, and were struggling to move, or do it up, then no.

I would talk about it gently, about the negatives and how she felt she would overcome them. Assuming they were substantial.

I don't actually think it is your place to try and stop her, or to make her feel bad for deciding to go ahead. As a friend you tell her in the kindest way your concerns and let her make up her mind, and you then support whatever it is that she doing unless she is a drug addict etc. In that case I could not support a friend planning to get pregnant.