Should I tell my manager about ex?

[OdeToDiazepam]

I have a very abusive ex who's not been allowed to contact me or the children for years (serious abuse, had to relocate, panic phone etc etc)

so for the last 3 years I've had a non molestation order, already breached once so if it was breached again it could be prison. Problem is it runs out this Wednesday and because of my rubbish solicitors and delays it might not be extended in time.

I'm a waitress in a highly popular chain restaurant not far from where he lives and I'm worried either way that he could come to my work either intentionally or not, and I could be extremely distressed as I have ptsd or he could even approach or attack me.

Should I speak to my managers and let them know about this concern? Or is it best to just deal with it if/when it happens

Yes you should inform the manager and your colleagues.

Yes tell them. All the best to you.

Tell your manager, and discuss with her/him whether it would be a good idea to tell colleagues. It’s a balance of sharing in case something happens vs letting people know your own highly personal and (should be) confidential information about you.

Take care. I hope nothing happens.

Would your ex be keeping a count of when the order runs out? Or would he be more generalised than that?

Thank you,

I dont like having to tell people about it because they can view me differently and I don't like to be a 'victim' but I guess it's so they can protect/understand if the situation arises

How would telling my colleagues help?

It would stop them saying yes shes just out the back i will go and get her for you.

I would tell the manager OP. This situation is not your fault and if I was your manager, I would appreciate your trust to share this with me and keep an eye out for you.

Good luck and hope it all goes well with your new job

Tell them and please show your manager a picture of him.

It's terrible that we have to relive trauma by seeing someone who caused it, or even just thinking about it, but it's reality and we should always be prepared for worst case scenario in case.

Everything crossed for you

If you relocated, how comes you work near where he lives?

Sorry I know that isn't the point but maybe as it's a chain restaurant you can transfer to a different location to limit the chance of him spotting you?

By "them" I meant your manager - "them" as in he or she. I think the previous poster is right - discuss with your manager whether to tell your colleagues.

Generally colleagues don't need to know the background. Work should be able to accommodate him being moved to an area you're not working, or you being removed from being customer facing immediately on your request. Your colleagues are not owed an explanation. I think you should take your manager into your confidence to ensure any processes are put in place to keep you safe, and if you don't want to share background with your colleagues use a brush off line as a broken record, Eg "long story, I won't bore you with it" then smile and change the subject or walk away.

Presumably there has always been a risk that he'd walk in unintentionally. Do you feel that scenario needs to be handled differently if/when the order lapses? Hopefully all will soon be sorted. Stay safe and remember you don't owe an explanation to anyone, but you do have a right to feel safe and be supported at work.

Thanks everyone I spoke to the manager and they said they'll inform the other managers and he'll be removed from the premises if he enters.

I relocated yes but then moved back to my home area recently