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Help my 3 year old is driving me nuts

6 replies

Wheresmywandharry · 08/06/2019 16:29

So my 3.3 year old ds has turned from a lovely little boy into a total PITA - been like this about 6 weeks now. He is SO defiant. Good example is post nursery battle yesterday - it's a good 25 minute walk home and so I still have the buggy in case he gets tired. He demands to be carried. He say no - offer him the choice, it's buggy or walk. It starts pissing with rain and he throws himself on the floor and demands to be carried. I offer him one last chance to decide what happens and say I understand you want mummy to carry you but you are too heavy so you need to walk or go in the buggy otherwise I will just strap you into the buggy myself, he continues to scream. So I strap him into the buggy. Hysterics. He then says he wants to get out and walk - fine. Get him out and he immediately throws himself on the floor again. Repeat x100000.

Then just now, another example. Wants to play with his wooden trainset. Fine, we play with it together then he starts trying to throw it around. I tell him no, that's dangerous, he continues. I tell him if he carries on we will put away the train. He continues, so I put away the train. Hysterics.

Bedtime is another battle. Stalling, hysterical crying, general pissing about.

Honestly I know this is all normal but I don't know how to deal with it. I'm not very patient and just end up shouting at him which is not ideal.

Any tips? Anyone else's 3yo doing their nut in?! He skipped the terrible twos entirely.

OP posts:
Soola · 08/06/2019 16:41

You strap him in and leave him to thrash and scream whilst ignoring him. Only speak to him when he’s calmed down.

You are giving in to him by letting him get out repeatedly.

They can’t be reasoned with when they have a tantrum so make sure they’re safe and carry on.

GreenTulips · 08/06/2019 16:42

Stop the repeat but

Do what you say - wrap in buggy and ignore
Toys - get a confiscated box - throw stuff in there somewhere high and it’s out of bounds for 24 hours. Do it every single time - warning - choice - box
He’ll get the hang of it

Say no mean no - carry on

Seeleyboo · 08/06/2019 16:43

I have a 4 years old. Turned 4 last month and a 2 year old and they're doing my nut in too. Fighting and screaming pretty much all the time. I'm utterly exhausted and on my last thread.

Soola · 08/06/2019 16:43

With the toy you put it away and let him have the hysterics whilst you be busy or pretend to be busy.

You make it clear that you won’t give him any attention when he freaks out.

AppleKatie · 08/06/2019 16:45

OP the only thing you can do is be relentlessly consistent.

One warning and then train goes away/he gets strapped in etc... no changing minds or going back. Don’t give him choices if he’s in a tantrummy mood/m- just make it simple, today you are going in the buggy etc.

When he tantrums at home and it’s safe walk to another room and say breezily ‘come and find me when you’ve calmed down’.

Out and about either ignore or pick him up and take him somewhere safe to ignore him.

MauisHouseOnMaui · 08/06/2019 16:48

Children go through these phases of testing boundaries with challenging behaviour, it's a developmental thing although some do seem to do it purely for shits and giggles (looking at youngest DD here).

Stay consistent, same response each and every time, and it'll eventually pass.

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