What happened to basic courtesy?

[codenameduchess]

In the last few weeks I've experienced a shocking amount of rude, selfish and unnecessary behaviour from people. Examples:

Misfueled my car and lots of people shouted at me to move my car but all refused to help me do that (even after explaining I'm pregnant and couldn't push it alone, it's a massive heavy car!). I would not hesitate to help!

Stood waiting at a kiosk, the man ahead is waffling about something unrelated to the person serving then turns to me and says 'go do something else I'll be a while doing this' I asked if he'd mind if I went ahead as I would only be a minute vs his 15-30 and he refused (I wanted a simple transaction, he was setting up several accounts and wanting complex transactions). Now I'd have automatically said for someone else to go ahead if I was going to take a long time and they weren't.

Grown man knocked over my 3yo DD and shouted at her for being in the way. She definitely wasn't in the way- he was in the wrong and after she was crying. Who shouts at a kid they've just hurt?

My elderly gran fell on a bus and not one other passenger helped her up, it wasn't a full bus but at least 10 other people were there but sat and watched her struggle until the driver came to help.

Is this just how things are now? It feels so sad

No denying youve had a shit run.

Youve been socialised into being nice for nices sake. Not everyone has, particularly men.

I dont understand why no one helped you move the car as it would have benefitted them.

My guess is your 2nd example is an entitled male. Having said that you dont know if he had been waiting in a queue before you got there.

Shouting at your dd - that could easily be shock, embarrassment, or another entitled man.

The bus - people defer to authority quite quickly. I dont know why they didnt help. Fear of making things worse? Thinking it wasnt their place as there was a driver.

It might not be lack of courtesy. It might be.

When i was little we was told if you are lost or in trouble to speak to an adult - nowadays adults are afraid to help. Some kid was struggling as they had fallen over and cut themselves a little while ago but my dh didn't dare help in case he got in trouble or labelled as a perve. How sad that is.
My dad who has been involved with bringing his children up and grandchildren up and absolutely loves children was looking at a kid as it was doing something cute (just in a my daughter used to do that awww type of way) a big man came up to my dad and called him a nonce for looking at his kid and my dad was genuinely terrified.

What's happened to a after you mentality or do you need some help with your suitcase? My dh whose very tall tends to help a lot of shorter people on planes as he doesn't like to see people struggle with their case into the overhead not one helped me when i flow alone.

I think people are just too much on the clock nowadays and don't have time to think about somebody needing a help.

Courtesy is suffering from the same illness that unfortunately killed Common Sense.

What Angela said.

There are a lot of really aggressive horrible adults of late. Especially males although I’ve also seen a (much smaller) rise in aggressive females. I don’t know what’s caused such anger. Some people seem very entitled.

Yes, unfortunately there has been a complete decline in manners. I have to travel to central London for work several times a week, coming into a very busy mainline station. Some of the aggressions I see from commuters and in the surrounding streets is very depressing. I was born and raised in central London and it was never this bad.

I try to rise above it. Sometimes it can be tempting to jab somebody with a sharp elbow but I refrain as that is just adding to the lack of manners.

Whenever there are lots of people in a small area it seems to have a detrimental effect on manners. Also some people genuinely do not know how to behave in public, presumably because they have lacked the guidance or discipline to do so.

I was informally taught that when you left your home you were "on" - not exactly on your best behaviour but acting differently from at home. But nowadays a lot of people treat being out in public like being in their front room with no distinction made that they are among strangers. A good example of this is going to the cinema or theatre. The amount of talking or phone use is ridiculously selfish. (Someone on another thread mentioned being at a theatre and somebody in the audience working on a laptop. The guy who plays sexy priest in Fleabag was in Graham Norton on Fri and he mentioned that somebody started using a laptop when he was on stage!)