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Please help it's been playing on my mind...

5 replies

IfIwereable · 07/06/2019 10:35

NC for this

Bit of backgorund DB(33) and SIL(41) started TTC 2 years ago. SIL has a DS(10) from her previous marriage, had serveral MC before and after DS. I know my DB would love to have DC of his own and SIL has been feeling the pressure as she would also love another and give DS a sibling.

She is has been on AD for years and tried to change her meds as she shouldn't take them if TTC. After going through a long and stressful process of coming off and starting new meds her MH took a turn for the worse so she switched back to the meds that were helping her. This has now kind of put a stop on the idea that they might have a DC together.

Since having my DD I can see how they are with her and it can be painful sometimes for them to see my DD knowing they won't be able to share the joy of having their own DC and it has sometimes meant they don't want to see DD as it causes some upset.

Anyway I've been thinking about offering to be a surrogate for them as I have had a fairly easy pregnancy with DD and quite enjoyed it. DH and I are certain we don't want anymore childern as we have 3 between us (DD and 2 DSS)

I have told one person IRL about this but would like to hear from anybody who has been through this

I have no idea where to start, I would obviously need to speak to DH as it would have a huge impact of our lives, how would I go about raising it with DB and SIL, they haven't asked or even mentioned using a surrogate but I don't know if it's just something they haven't/won't even considered.

Sorry for the ramble I have been thinking about this for so long I have so many questions

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
RivkaMumsnet · 08/06/2019 19:40

Hi OP,

You sound like a really wonderful and kind sister!

I'm afraid I don't have any specific experience but just wanted to bump this for you.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 08/06/2019 20:19

Maybe mention that you were reading about surrogacy and thinking what an amazing gift it’d be to give someone, and That you’d do it in a heartbeat if someone you were close to needed it. Gives them chance to start that discussion in private between themselves knowing it’s an option, without pressuring them to consider it, and makes it clear they can approach you and the answer would be yes if they choose.

IfIwereable · 11/06/2019 14:19

Bumping my own thread 😁

OP posts:

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Bluetrews25 · 11/06/2019 16:48

How would it work? Would SIL have to go through egg retrieval? If she can't have a pregnancy, how can she go through the ovary stimulation and egg retrieval?
Or would it be your eggs with your DB's sperm? As that would be recipe for disaster, obviously!
I'm a bit unsure how this could work!

IfIwereable · 11/06/2019 18:11

I have no idea tbh this is why I started the thread coz obviously it couldn't be my egg and DB sperm 😱

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