Birthday party and siblings

[flatwhitecappucino]

What’s the etiquette. Birthday party soon and sooooo many people have asked if it’s ok to bring their sibling.

I have told them they are welcome to but as it’s a package they have to pay for them for entrance to venue and their food as that’s in the package which I’m already full for. Entrance to venue is £4.
I’m surprised I’ve even had one parent say I’m just going to drop all siblings off I assume it’s ok for them to join in the party.
Er no? Or is this not normal. I’ve been asked for 7 siblings so far. The party’s m not cheap so even if I wanted to (and I can’t because the numbers have a genuine max anyway due to venue size) the cost would mount.

Its a 5th birthday party if that makes any difference and normally parents stay so I’ve also shelled out money for the parents to stay as apparently they don’t have to.

I'm always amazed at the CF of parents when it comes to this issue. It's up to them to sort out their own children, not you.

For now you'll just have to stick to your guns and insist they pay for siblings. Tell the venue that you are not paying for any extras.

Next time you have a party make it clear on the invitations that siblings are not invited to the party and will cost extra.

Not normal at all! Why should you pay extra for uninvited children? The other parents sound like a lot of CFs.
Make it clear that siblings are not part of the party festivities and will not have a seat at the party table nor get a goody bag.

I would say no; I find it really odd that people would ask that as people are fully aware that parties at soft play places and other party venues are not cheap

In your position I would tell them no drop offs - anyone bringing siblings needs to stay, and they need to pay for any siblings themselves.

But to be honest I would have said no to any siblings whatsoever from the start.

Cheeky and not normal.

Thanks, first party at a venue and genuinely was worried I was being rude but I can’t afford to pay for any more and it’s a venue where it’s quite clear anyone can turn up to the actual venue but if you have a party it’s a package. Thanks I have responded to people as they have asked me. The venue are great and asked for a name list so I won’t be paying for random extras.
I’ve decided I think I’m going to avoid standing at the entrance so the venue can deal with ‘the extras’.

Oh dear god just had someone say can their 10 year old join in. It’s literally for 4&5 years olds. Poor 10 year old! Nope!

We went to a 4th birthday party last weekend at softplay. Ds was invited and I just paid dd's entry when we got there. As far as I could tell, that's what everyone else was doing as well.

We're going to another party at the same venue in a week and because they are family friends, ds and dd are both invited to that one.

I always thought the child whose name is on the invite goes and if it's somewhere like softplay and you have to stay, then you just pay for any subsequent kids you need to take with you to facilitate the one who is invited going.

Cheeky and entitled. Not just a no but a hell no.

It’s pretty much the same situation as you’ve described @Dinosauratemydaffodils maybe next year I’ll have to state what happens to siblings!

Recently hosted DD 3rd Birthday party and 3 different parents try to leave their 2/3 year olds! Is that a thing? I managed to 'stop' 2 parents from leaving both then literally sat in the corner on their phones and didnt even look in their DC's direction during the party and the parent that 'escaped' litterally just left and didn't even say anything until I realised and asked the kids where their adult was! The best part is that this mum did the CF hat trick - didn't RSVP the invited child, brought a sibling and then disappeared! At least she turned back up to collect 'on time' because I seriously had visions of having to call the police or something if she was didn't come back as I had no way of contacting her!

The saga continues. Long drawn out texts from some now saying they can’t come owing to the siblings not being allowed to come. They are allowed. They have to pay £4 entry. I despair.

How cheeky! Did you tell them they can come to the venue but will have to pay for the extra children themself? And that they aren't part of the party?

CFs indeed! DC isn't at this age yet but I'll be well prepared thanks to threads like this, do some parents get an invite and just think "woohoo afternoon off with free childcare!"

Good idea letting the venue deal with them. And definitely say parents of siblings have to stay!

flatwhitecappucino reply to these texts that uninvited siblings will not be part of the party but they are of course welcome to pay the usual entrance fee and use the play centre facilities.

@llangennith that’s exactly what I’ve already said! I get the impression they want me to turn around and say ok I’ll pay. The last text I received read ‘ok we won’t be able to come then’ I can’t pay I’ve now had 7 requests for siblings entry. And that’s the ones who’s asked

I can't believe how rude they are!
Nip it in the bud now. If they can't come because they won't pay for their kids the so be it. Why should you pay?!

What absolute CF's to try and make you feel guilty at the invited child missing out because the sibling can't come. If you really can't find some childcare or aren't prepare to pay for your other child then just decline the invitation!

In dd's class at soft plays the parents have automatically paid for siblings and bought them food in the main area not the party room, nobody has ever tried to sneak one in, it seems an unwritten understanding.

Just reply that of course they can come but as it's a party package it's only the classmates that are paid for by you and not catered for in the party room.

We did a disco for dd's 6th at a village hall though, there were 4 who asked if siblings could come which was fine but on the day an extra 8 siblings turned up, I was fuming, they sat them down for the food and watched them choose the cupcakes I'd had made (enough for 1 each of the invited kids) then stood them in the queue for party bags at the end.

Back up now, and message every parent to say that plans have changed and only birthday child's classmate is able to attend birthday child's party. Fucking cheek. You say yes to one, they'll tell another and next thing you know they whole lot of them are dropping extra kids and running. Do not set a precedent for this shite.

Even if they do pay entry and for food do not take on the supervision of extra kids. The parents will have to stay and mind their own extras. You are not there to provide bloody childcare.

Reply "Ah, shame. I've been asked for 7 siblings to come which almost doubles the cost, so obviously there's no way I can pay for all siblings. We'll miss little Jimmy!"

End of. Cheeky bastards.

You book a certain number on one of these. Just say you're at capacity for the party. It's for 15 people and iveb
invited 14 plus mine. Sorry.

As others have said, it is fairly standard if one child is invited to a birthday party in a soft play area for their parent to bring other siblings and pay for them, their food and stay til party ends. There are loads of reasons someone may bring siblings - cultural norms, no one else to mind other children, more than average chaos that day ... Though I don't know anyone who wouldn't actually stay (especially at that age). For this (and other reasons) I now don't put all the details on the invitation so anyone coming has to speak to me first - either I seek them out if they've not replied or they will need to contact me. I'm now at a point though where we just do invite a small number of families to an activity so all siblings could come and we get to know each other. It works better for us in our culturally diverse family/community

I have zero issue with siblings coming but I don’t want to have to pay for them. I have sent out individual invitations to the children with their one name on so I don’t feel like there’s much reason for these parents to think it’s ok.
Luckily the venue have asked for a list of names to stop cheeky fuckers anyone not invited coming in without paying. So my plan now is to avoid confrontation and stay away from the entrance whilst the staff sort the wheat from the chaff.