should 1? should I not? should I? should I not?..................

[FlamingoFlamenco]

I'm in a quandry - a big one.

I work from a tiny home studio. I'm isolated most days and it gets lonely as I'm a gregarious kind of woman. I also have a disability that varies hour to hour, day to day. Some days I can tap dance down the high st, others, I can't even stand up.

There is a place for rent, perfect for a studio where I can host others, sell work, etc so have lots of people about. See life and have life in my life.

If I go for it, It means.....

*Hauling all my gear down there
*More expenses -rent, travel, equipment etc
*Less 'me' time
....and a whole lot more

It also means -
*Being with like-minded people
*sharing skills
*having a physical identity (the studio) rather than a page on facebook and website
More opportunities

I reckon I've perhaps 10-15 years of work in meas, even if I can't personally still do what I do at some point, I can still pass on those skills to new generations.
But I'm kinda scared - head full of what ifs/maybe's...and this is where I need you fabulous women of MN.

Should I stay or should I go?

Are u a photographer

I think you should go for it. You’ll always wonder...

Do it!

Your words ‘have life in my life’ stuck in my head from reading your post. This means so much. As a fellow lonely home worker I emphathise with how you feel. I get so lonely sometimes and miss the buzz of people being around.

If it’s financially viable for you I would do it. Once it’s not too difficult with your disability.

It sounds to me like you should go. Your gear will only need taking once, sona taxi load? A van load? It’s a one off expense. It sounds like you standto be more visible and network more, so that leads to more income, covering the outgoings.
Your personal needs would be met, and that’s fundamentally important.

Do it, I feel in my bones you should!

do it!!

@madeyemoodysmum - no, not a photographer, but I do work in the arts.

Ohyesiam - possibly 2 van trips will be needed, but oh the space I would have. Personal needs have always taken a back seat in my life as I was taught from an early age to be a people pleaser, and that 'I want never gets' - constant quote from a relative.
But well, the bastard of all menopause years put paid to that one .

I have a feeling of nakedness - if that makes sense - standing up here and saying 'this is what I want for me, and only me'. Is that selfish?

@lilyrose16
It's so hard isn't it. I think the fact I got excited yesterday because I'd had a 5 minute chat with a neighbour brought my situation home to me.
I'm getting the feeling I'd rather have 10 years of creative glory on the main stage, rather than endless ones in the backwaters.

Yes, life in my life - it's not too much to ask for is it.

Of course not. You only live one life. You will regret not pushing yourself. ‘I want’ does get if you put in the work! Ask yourself who you are living your life for? Go for it!

If someone made the actual choice for you and said you couldn't move would you feel disappointed or relieved? -there's your answer.... Could you move again if it didn't work out? Would you always regret not taking a chance?

Have you got support for the actual move op?

@FlamingoFlamenco I think you’ve got your answer! Those moments of loving being a part of a conversation with someone may sound bonkers to people who aren’t isolated. But they mean so much to us, I had a lovely chat with a lady at the pharmacy yesterday and I was glowing all morning! Sounds a bit sad really but that’s the level of my isolation!

Worst case scenario you could always move back to your home studio? Give it a go, you have so much to gain!

@Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge

Yes, there's no problem with moving my gear - got a couple of willing friends should the need arise.

@Pipandmum - I don't believe in regrets as I think they're full of negative energy, and I certainly don't want to look back on this time and think 'if only'.

@Manumanadoodoodadoo - - y'know, if someone did say 'no, you can't do that' I think I'd be really sad but yet relieved I wouldn't be putting my body through yet more torture.

@LilyRose16

I can talk till the cows come home - and more besides - but in a good way. I miss the life I had before developing my illness, and I think madcap idea stems from wanting to be 'that' person again.

In my dreams when I'm sleeping, I can still do all the things I used to - without thought or worry, and then I wake up! But y'know what, I'm beginning to think 'what the heck', what's the worst that can happen!

If you think you can cover the costs and still make a living and have a life then yes

I’ve recently given up photography as it’s no longer a viable career money wise.

It was good for 15 years but now I’m too old and can’t be arsed to be constantly chasing jobs for little money. I’m now in a paid position in a fun field part time Much less lonely and suits me at my time of life.

Please go for it Flamingo. I have recently made a big change in my life, and your posts about the possible change in yours are reminding me of the excitement and confidence my change has brought me. I think the positives you've listed far outweigh the negatives. Do it, feel that sense of achievement, that excitement, that satisfaction which comes of doing something that you really want.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

Gosh, you sound wonderful, OP.

You should definitely take the studio. You deserve it.

Better to regret the things you tried than to regret never trying.
Have at it, you aren't done yet

Do it!
If for any reason you found it too much health-wise you could always downsize again - but still keep the friends and links you had made.

Morning all, and thank you so, so much for all your positivity, it's brought a smile to my face and got me to put on my kick ass bike boots that have languished in the shed for far too long. I might even get to ride my bike again too, who knows!!!

I was up until around 3am as was full of too many kind of thoughts of being - excited/panicky/giddy, thinking what if, what if/ what the hell/etc.
So, I'm now loaded up with a hot, strong, sweet coffee and making plans, because you lot - yes all of you lovely people have planted the mantra 'do it, dooo it' in my head and it's now whirling like an ear worm.

Y'know what - I feel like I've found something I thought was lost forever, and it's poked my eye 'cos they're watering ever so slightly.

So - have looked online and the place is still available.
Financially - I can just about do it - it will be tight to begin with, but I've always loved a challenge
I need tables/chairs, but have everything else that's needed.
The hardest thing will be moving all my stock and equipment as it's not exactly lightweight, but as I said, good friends await my call.

Off to make some phone calls!!!

Congratulations on your new venture op. Maybe a mner could be your first purchaser!

Your update made me smile big smiles.

The very, very best of luck to you OP!

@Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge - who knows who just might walk through the door. I've decided to release some 'put away for a rainy day' type funds for this, as yep, it's rained all day today, so I see that as a good omen. So will be sorting that out next week.

I'm definitely going to go ahead with this - really fired up about it all.

@WifOfBif - I love to see people smiling big smiles - so glad you are as I am too.

Had a bit of a celebration scoff tonight - corn chips and chocolate, mmm. Am going to have the weekend off, then off I go.

Have a fabby weekend and many thanks for your good wishes - I love them!