Bank charges

[GilmoreMe]

I want to start by saying I am terrible with money, budgeting, keeping track of money and generally all things money. I am trying to get on top of this and be more money responsible. My husband and I pay a percentage of our wages into a separate account for household bills.
I have another account that I use for my own bills/personal spends/ kids etc. It's this account that is causing me issues.
I don't have an overdraft facility on this account however they let me go overdrawn every month, never by much, always less than £100. Then they will stop any payments being made but that is enough to cause bank charges EVERY month. The charges range from £20 - £80 a month.
I've just gone through statements and they have taken £400 in charges since Dec 2018. Each time a charge is taken I'm already overdrawn so the charge makes the situation worse.
Is there anything I can do to try to get the charges reversed? I'm being destroyed by bank charges every month and trying to play catch up which is impossible.

Food is a household bill, as is petrol, Christmas and birthday presents for the children and family and school dinner money. Transfer these costs to the joint account.
Go through your bank statements for the last 3 months to see exactly what you have spent money on, both your personal accounts and the joint account. If your DH earns 4x more than you, he should be paying 4x more into the joint account. So add up the total household spend per week, multiply it by 52 then divide by 12. This will give you the true monthly cost. Divide by 5 (assuming he earns 4x more) and you put in 1/5, he puts in 4/5.
Before all this though, I would expect my DH to help me pay off my overdraft in full.

Your DH must clear your outstanding debt as he earns 4x more than you. Once your account is balanced then you must learn to manage your financial circumstances.
The washing machine breaking down etc should be considered household expenses as should the spending on the kids, although if you are getting child maintenance from their other parent and you are in receipt of child Benefit then this money can pay for some of their expenses.
Learn to budget better op, you will enjoy the money not being wasted on bank charges.

Paying in a percentage of wages, or bills isn't fair when you earn significantly different amounts because it leads to vastly different personal spending money.

Especially if you earn less because you're taking on most of the housework and childcare so work part-time or aren't able to work long hours or travel for work because your DH leaves all home responsibilities to you.

Are you sure you have calculated the total amount of charges correctly? I've just looked at the HSBC website and like many banks they cap charges. So the max you could have paid in charges is £90?

Sorry the £90 is the max charge monthly to clarify!

OP says she is charged £20-£80 a month. Debit card transactions aren't always sent for authorisation at the time and once done cannot be rejected so if you know you don't have enough money you shouldn't use your card.

HSBC can give you a card that cannot go overdrawn. That means you can't use it for things like Pay at Pump, though.

They also do a text service. I used to get a daily text when at uni.