I am stupidly infatuated with a man I don't even know. How the hell do I get over him?

[WhyAre80sGlassesInAgain]

I had a work colleague who I had always liked but didn't feel it was professional to act on it. He left about four years and we kissed at his leaving do.

It was just a kiss, it meant nothing and I've never bloody got over it, but it was okay because we didn't see each other again.

I've been trying OLD and he popped up, but he hasn't matched with me. I am stupidly and absolutely gutted. I'd throw myself at his feet tbh and this is so unlike me. I've never, ever had such a crush on someone before, not even as a teenager.

How the hell do I get out of this?!

Is he single, do you know? Might you find him on Facebook? Might be worth a shot.

I reckon it's a case of the old the more you can't have them the more you want them.

He must be single as he's on Tinder too. I'd hope

I swiped right on him so if he wanted to see me, he'd turn up in my matches and he hasn't. I don't want to look like a unhinged stalker asking him out on FB.

Don't assume he has swiped left on you - it might just be that he doesn't use the app frequently so hasn't come across your profile yet OR he mistakenly left swiped (can be done easily if swiping through everyone quickly) OR he felt it was awkward to swipe right because of your previous history (i.e. he didn't want to come across needy).

I'd say there's no harm in adding him on social media (it's not like he's a complete stranger off the bus or something - he has an old work colleague so I don't think it would seem stalker-y or weird) and clearly the feeling must be at least slightly mutual for you to have had the kiss.

Just ask him for a coffee and say you can catch up on the last 4 years.

You have a context about knowing each other.

Noooooo don't suggest him to me as a real possibility

I'm like a bloody teenager. I'd be writing our names in hearts if I still had a notebook.

Oh I miss doing that

Seriously life is short .... go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain