How much of a say to you allow your children?

[MeatBall3000]

I have 4 year old twin girls, due to start reception in September. They've been together through nursery for the last 2 years with no issues.

The school they're attending has a 2 form entry. The school wanted to split them.
After talking it through with them (my children) they're adamant they want to stay together. So I spoke to the school a while ago and they agreed they could be in the same class.

But now I'm doubting my decision.
I felt they may be better off separated... no particular reason why, it just seems to be the done thing with the twins I've come across.
Would you have taken their opinion into consideration? Or am I a fool for allowing a couple of 4 year olds to sway my decision?

How much consideration do you give to your own kids opinions? And at what age?

I split my twins and they were fine with that, I explained the reasons.

Pe saying they can be separated next year if needed, not really that simple! There wo need to be a vacancy in the other class as school can't go over 30 in reception Nd one of them would have to move to the other class where they didn't know the other kids as well. Really your next opportunity to split isn't until the school Reorganise the classes.

Not the exact same but I let my 4.5 yr old dd decide when she wanted to start school 🤷‍♀️ She was adamant to start at 4.5 (I would’ve liked her to wait until 5.5) but she knew her own mind and off she went. All was fine

@Attache you're very right. I can't put this on them. Perhaps I'd always subconsciously envisioned them doing school together. So when they expressed wanting to stick together I didn't argue it.

When I say didn't argue it, I did put forward all the good points of being separated btw. But they still wanted to stay together.

But yes, it's on me.

At our school they keep siblings together. So twins in the same class and siblings separated by one year in the same class (2 mixed classes, R&Y1 and Y2&Y3 no rearranging at Y2). They thought I was an oddity for insisting I wanted my DC split up.

I have twin boys and didn’t allow them to make the decision. They were split.

But different as mine had been together in a special needs class for infants and moved to a larger mainstream for juniors. As parents (and teachers as well) we thought they’d benefit from different social circles and just being able to develop separately.

At the same time their little brother was going into Reception - I didn’t worry at all about him being ‘alone’ in the class, and I tried not to worry about the twins! They thrived btw, great school and best decision all round.

I didn’t answer your question though....

No we didn’t really allow them any input as they would have chosen to stay together. We told them they’d be in different classes, wouldn’t that be exciting etc. but they’d still be able to play together at lunchtime. They were nervous being separated but have never had a problem.

With that proviso it's nice to go with them.

We can and should make decisions all the time that overrule what they'd choose - small children don't choose to have vaccinations, or brush their teeth, or avoid fizzy drinks. I think it's important to keep making those decisions on their behalf. It's hard when there is not a clear path and you really want more info, but I think it's important to still act in their best interests as much as you can. In this case, though, it sounds like your gut instinct matches what they want, so it's all good.

Mine are in a single form entry school so couldn't deprecate anyway but they needed each other in the first years. It totally depends on the dynamic, and each set of twins is different.

They always separate twins ime, never known them stay together (even when I was at school way back when).

See how they get on and I’m sure the school with separate them if it isn’t working out.