Being too polite when visiting other people, house sharing etc.?

[Borelis]

I've always had this tendency to tiptoe around fairly quietly, be too considerate, keep out of people's way etc when I'm living in a houseshare or visiting a friend, etc.

... yet most other people I see seem to make themselves wayyyy too much at home.. had a guest (friend of my flatmate) and she was literally using the shower for nearly 30 mins, spreading food prep stuff across the entire 3 kitchen counters, putting music on full volume on her phone and leaving it in the kitchen whilst singing and cooking.. (this is someone we'd never seen before and literally only arrived 10 mins before), talking loudly, running up and down the stairs etc.

I'd never feel so comfortable even actually living at the flat so I'm surprised a guest can make themselves so much at home so quickly.

I know I'm probably too cautious and reserved (I won't even sit down at a guest's house until I'm offered a seat, etc. lol) but surely the other extreme is equally, if not more, off putting or is it the norm?

You sound lovely and considerate.

No offence as you sound lovely and it’s just my personal opinion but I like to relax at home and I’d find a guest who had to be told to sit down really hard work. Whilst it’s completely different to the loud music, taking over the kitchen and long showers, if I’m being completely honest I wouldn’t invite either of you to stay for a second time. However, in this case the kitchen and bathroom are shared spaces so the friend of your flatmate is being really inconsiderate and your reserved behaviour isn’t remotely comparable.

Thanks for both replies so far :) - that's a fair point @expressedways

I would work on trying to feel a little more at home in your own home, if I was you.

I am happy for my friends to walk in, make drinks etc, use the toilet without 'asking' and certainly don't expect them to tiptoe.

I do sympathise, as I had a couple of shite house shares whilst at uni.