Did anyone else’s child change when they started school? For the worse?

[Chocochocolate]

My 5-yr-old is in reception. But he’s changed since he started school. Is moodier, says things like “that’s boring”, has become more aggressive - kicking bins etc - and negative in general (went to a forest school half term holiday day with a friend from school and he said, loudly, “this is dumb”. He says that sort of thing all the time, especially when any child from school is around).

The kids he’s made friends at school with seem the same. I don’t love the pals he’s picked . I’m so sad about it he was the sweetest boy before - always so positive and happy.

Did anyone else’s child change when they started school?

My DD did, yes - though different to yours. She is now much more likely to brag in an unkind way in front of other children, is suddenly judgemental about more superficial things like what someone is wearing (and will comment loudly about who is prettier than who). She has also developed a much shorter patience than she had before school started, and will occasionally hit/snatch (which she almost never did, even as a toddler).

She got bullied in a really nasty way in the first term by a small group of boys who were hurting her and blackmailing her not to tell on them or else they'd hurt her friends worse (at 4/5 - appalling!) And it took a while for her to confide in us about it. I think it really changed her perspective from her natural 'caring for everyone and everything' persona, and she is now aware that she needs to be in it for herself a bit more.

It's a terrible shame and I really hope she can grow back out of it. She just LOVES people and it would be a shame for her to start pushing them away as a matter of habit.

Yes. No advice I'm afraid but my 5 yo DS does exactly the same as yours. He sounds like Kevin the teenager! Where has my lovely little boy gone

Oh Spanneroo - that’s so awful about those boys when your DD started school! I hope she switches back. It’s such a shame when they lose their sweet loving everyone innocence!

Drogonssmile- - so like Kevin the Teenager!

Yes - she would never snatch or shove, but does now. She is picked up phrases (the it's boring one is a classic!) which I know she had never used before. She also has more of a defiant attitude.

Not sure what to do about it, her older sibling didn't seem to change much at all, other than picking up a few unpleasant words.

We should start a receptioners parent support group!

Ha yes! Support each other through sadness of the innocence lost!

Yes, my son did change when he started school, but not in the same way as your son. He used to love preschool and was more than happy to go, but a couple of months after starting he decided he hated primary school. He would cry on the way there every morning, sometimes it was so bad he would make himself sick. They used to have to prise him away from me, and this went on for a long long time. It felt like they had broken him, and nobody could find any reason for his change in behaviour, it broke my heart some days, having to leave him there.
My son was also always so positive and happy, but school made him sad and miserable. He did eventually settle down.
Hopefully it's just a phase they go through and that you get your happy, sweet boy back soon.

Itsagrandoldteam oh poor you both! That sounds so so hard. Thank goodness it settled down eventually.