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How to stop hating being alone

2 replies

madeofstarlight · 02/06/2019 19:40

Sorry in advance if this is the wrong place for this post.

For most of my life I would have described my self as someone who loves her own company. I've always been content to do my own thing and would often seek out alone time. However, in the last year I seem to have lost that.

I'm mid 20's with no kids and last year I bought a house with my boyfriend but after a few weeks I found out he had cheated on me and I split up with him. So I've lived alone for almost a year now. I don't actually spend most of the week on my own though as I have a new boyfriend who stays a couple of times a week, my younger sister will usually stay once or twice and my best friend stays once a week most weeks or I go to hers. I also have a cat and I see other friends and visit my parents most weeks.

My issue is that I've noticed that whenever one of them leaves or I go home alone I'm filled with an overwhelming sadness and loneliness. I can physically feel it in my chest. I'm just at a loss because I know it's ridiculous and I'm not actually lonely, I know I'm so loved and all of the relationships in my life are totally fulfilling. Some weeks if I know I have no weekend plans I'll look forward to spending time alone relaxing and tidying the house but then when it comes I feel sad and like I'm wasting the time by not spending it with anyone and then I don't enjoy it.

I would love to get back to who I used to be, I was a lot stronger and more independent and now even though I've moved out from my family home I feel more dependent on my loved ones than ever. I feel pathetic just typing all of this.

Does anyone have any tips on how to beat that lonely feeling and enjoy time alone?

OP posts:
Flippingflipflop · 03/06/2019 10:10

Could you think of something that you look forward to doing only when you're on your own, even if it's just a box set that only you would enjoy.
I love having total peace and quiet to read or do yoga and make dinners that only I would enjoy. Podcasts and radio if you don't like the silence. Could you plan for times that you are going to have no one staying and go out to gym or plan something that you are really looking forward to doing like a art class or book group?

WigwamPumpernickle · 03/06/2019 10:16

No advice I’m afraid OP but I feel exactly the same ☹️

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