If you grew up without a father, do you, in fact, blame your mother?

[Freakingouttt]

As is so often trotted out on threads and in real life

“Will you be able to explain what happened”
“It’s important you (the mother) work to keep the relationship with the father and child going”
“They will want answers when they are older”

Plus all the how damaging it is for kids to be fatherless stuff trotted out all the time. If you are an adult without a father who do you blame or do you blame anyone at all?

I grew up without one, my u as done an amazing job with me all on her own and she is the most amazing mum anyone could have and I'm so glad she's mine would never change her for anyone else and shes just amazing...

But if he ever bothered to get in touch after 30 years I would tell him to go f$ck off as hes missed out, never been there for me never paid for me and never acknowledged me..his loss not mine.

I didn't as a kid. But as an an adult I can see mum was mentally abusive. As u got to my teens the whole sorry story came out.

She went to my dads work with a gun. My grandad gun. She has mental health problems, dad attempted to get her some help. My grandparents blocked it and moved us all in with them. Turns out mum threatened him with killing herself and possibly us, if he tried to visit. He hired 2 solicitors he lost both times because his job involved shifts and he had no family near by. Grandad threatened him, again with the gun and told him he would kill my dad if he came anywhere near.

When I was 11 mum changed her mind. We started seeing him and she would ruin it everytime. She would argue with him. And this incidents came out then. She has admitted it.

Scarily they ended up back together. Dad says it was because she wouldnt let us see him if he didnt.

But both me and my brother are in our Kate 39s they are still together. Still a toxic relationship and I am NC with both of them.

I am angry, that I grew up being abused mentally. By both mum and grandad. I am still angry that what she wants always comes first and now dad defends her.

Some bloody awful stories here but also some really lovely ones.