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'Independent' toddler

36 replies

Gigis · 02/06/2019 19:08

I see on here fairly frequently people talking about their children sitting and drawing, or watching telly, or playing outside in a way that implies the parent is just in the background making sure they're fine but not actually getting involved. At what age does this happen?

My dd is 14 months old and she will pick up a crayon and stab at a bit of paper, but within seconds the crayon is in her mouth. She has no interest in the telly, other than wandering over to it to thump it with the remote, her fists, anything shes holding. When we go outside she wants to eat everything, so I can never leave her alone for fear of her putting stones in her mouth (am not bothered about grass and dirt, but gravel and pebbles are a choking hazard).

I am ready to accept people saying I have years yo go, but I came across a thread where some people were talking about their 16 month olds who could entertain themselves for a bit. I feel as though we are no where near that stage, even with 2 months to go. So, at what age were you able to leave your child sitting nicely at the table drawing/scribbling or wandering outside while you sat on the sidelines with a cuppa?!

OP posts:
Gorillaandme · 02/06/2019 20:52

My daughter is 14 months a similar to yours. She can concentrate on tv for 5 mins if something musical is on CBeebies but otherwise crawls around after me, hugs my leg, sits on the dog, makes a bee line for the stairs every time I run to get a snack and definetly loves emptying the bathroom bin as I pee. She is exhausting but hilarious. But I do look forward to baking with her.

ritzbiscuits · 02/06/2019 20:57

Really depends on the child. My DS could never entertain himself for long when he was little, had a friend whose DS could entertain himself with a single baby toy while she sunbathed!!!

I'd say by 3 he was watching a bit of tv independently, but at 5 1/2 still wants me heavily involved in play.

You have a while to go, I personally think the age 1-2 is very difficult.

AbbyHammond · 02/06/2019 21:00

I think mine have pretty much always played independently. I mean, I have to generally be in the same room/garden when they are under 2 as they will eat or climb anything dangerous, but I can do my own thing while they play.

I guess they have sat down and watched TV (something short like Peppa, Ben & Holly) from 18 months.

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NewAccount270219 · 02/06/2019 21:03

Oh, I also have a very independent and very uncuddly baby, like peachgreen and Bertie - he's 11 months. It is sometimes very convenient - he entertained himself for the best part of two hours while DH and I unpacked from our holiday earlier, for instance - but there are cons, too. He was pretty miserable between about 4 and 7 months because he didn't just want to be held like all the other babies I know but he couldn't yet move himself. He isn't cuddly and in the middle of the night I worry that I've done something wrong and he isn't properly attached to me. The most practical downside is that because he isn't that fussed about being played with, and just wants to crawl off and do his own thing, I don't have a way to keep him quiet and still while out - in church, for instance, there are other babies his age who will sit on their mother's laps being read to or played with for the full hour. He doesn't want to sit on me for longer than five minutes no matter what I do - he squirms to be put down and then cries if I don't oblige - and I can't just let him crawl around under the pews as he pleases so it's getting so disastrous that I think DH and I will have to start taking turns to go, which makes me sad.

Olivebrach · 02/06/2019 21:03

My sons 22 months and we have been able to feed the ducks together for a few months without fear he will try to get into the water lol.

Probably could bake but tbh i dont have the patience for that right now and dont think i could be bothered with the mess Grin

But sand or water pouring outside is def a time consuming activity for most

NewAccount270219 · 02/06/2019 21:12

grumpycat that is exactly what DS was like at that age, and it magically got better overnight when he could crawl! He's now the happiest, sunniest little thing. We do just let him crawl around (we have gates everywhere), pull books off the shelves, etc though - reading this thread I wonder if we should be making more effort to contain him and if that's what other people are doing? We do at other people's houses and it's v tedious and constant, so at home we've just baby proofed everything (our TV is now in a baby gate cage!) and we just let him go a bit feral...

WitBeyondMeasure · 02/06/2019 21:35

@Gigis I could bake with my older two quite harmoniously at 4 and 2

Then I had another and I can't do anything

peachgreen · 02/06/2019 21:39

Oh NewAccount I totally feel for you, DD is exactly the same. Having said that she has now got a little bit more wiling to sit on my lap, especially in strange situations. Would it help to find a church with a creche?

peachgreen · 02/06/2019 21:41

@grumpycat DD was like that too until she could sit up by herself and even better once she could crawl. Suddenly she was the happiest, sunniest wee baby ever. (It only lasted until she was about 14 months though and then she suddenly became a tantrumming toddler!)

Di11y · 02/06/2019 21:56

dd2 is 21 mo and it's definitely got better. she can follow simple instructions so if she's bothering me I'll ask for a cuppa and she'll fill a toy cup from the toy tap and bring it to me etc

ShantiTown · 02/06/2019 22:00

I'm still waiting for this at age six. Kidding, kind of...

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