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To talk about friendships. What is the norm?

1 reply

Conflicted2019 · 02/06/2019 11:37

I see lots of threads on here where people are concerned that they have no friends or feel lonely. It seems linked to seeing FB posts in particular. So I am wondering what is the norm?

For my part, I have plenty of “friendly associates”. I always have someone to call if I fancy a get together or a night out. I go on holiday with friends and have plenty of dinner parties. If I posted it all on FB, you would be forgiven for thinking that I must have alot of friends.

However, these “friendships” have a fairly quick turnaround cycle of a few years. They are usually made because of a shared connection (children,work,hobbies). But once that is over with the friendship fizzles out but more come in its place. Most of my friends have their “best friends” but it’s just something I have never had. Even at school, I spoke to everyone. I am always invited to the wedding but have never been a bridesmaid!

I am never at the top of anyone’s priority list. I like it like this. I am busy with work and my family and don’t really have time to invest in a deeper connection at the moment. I do find that I still have a gaping hole when it comes to needing support or a friendly ear.

So what is a friendship norm for you?

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 02/06/2019 12:00

You sound good at spreading yourself thin...that's not a derogatory comment either. It's a good skill in my opinion. I have friends like you who have tonnes of "light" friends....people to go for a drink with etc.

I'm not like that. I find it incredibly boring to spend evenings with people who don't excite me in some way...usually academically or creatively.

If it's just a Mum from school who is friends with one of my DC and who I don't have anything in common with, I just can't seem to enjoy myself.

I have probably 4 really good friends. People who I could turn to at 2.00am and land on their doorstep having lost everything...they'd look after me and I them. These are friends I actually love like family.

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