Can I ask people who've had weight loss surgery to share their stories?

[wheresmymojo]

I'm 37, healthy (good blood pressure, sugar levels fine) but hugely overweight.

I'm around 19st 8lbs and 5'6". I used to be around 13 stone which I was happy with but piled on weight when I had a breakdown (later diagnosed as bipolar). I was using food to self-medicate and put on 6 stone in five months.

Now my eating habits still aren't brilliant but my weight has plateaued.

I'm desperate to lose the weight, it very much gets me down. I start new diets constantly but never seem able to stick to them.

I used to be able to diet but I think it's the fact I have so much to lose now that means I give up.

I'm starting to think about weight loss surgery but I'm wondering about a few things:

• How long does it take to recover enough to be back to work/driving?

• Do you miss food? I'm a real foodie and wonder how I would cope with for example eating out?

• How much did it cost?

• Do you have any regrets? What has changed in the way you have to live your life now? Is it easier or harder than just staying overweight?

While this isn’t what you asked for, I would like to share my little story if you don’t mind. Three years ago I weighed 30 stone and 4lbs. I thought it was a massive amount to lose (obviously it is) and that I’d never be able to do it alone but so far Ive lost 14 stone by making the changes necessary to my lifestyle.
Surgery won’t address the things that make you over eat and it’s not a magical cure. 19stone, while it is a lot to weigh, isn’t so much that you can’t do it.

Thanks @WhatALump

Would you mind sharing a bit more about your story?

As much the psychological side as anything as I have plenty of knowledge about nutrition and what I should be doing.

It's the psychological side I really struggle with. I still have low times even on high doses of antidepressants and know I use food (high sugar, high carbs) to basically keep myself sane (or that's how it feels).

Did you eat emotionally before? How do you manage this now?

No problem I’m always happy to share. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at that time which gave me a real kick up the ass to make changes. I joined weight watchers and followed their point system.
That was easy enough but I still will overeat if I feel the urge. I have to make a real effort to steer myself out of an emotional eating episode. I am greedy. There’s no getting away from that fact and I think I always will be but I’m getting better at reminding myself in the moment that a loss at weigh in will feel better than any binge will.

The real key to my loss though has been finding an activity I love which means I get exercise but it doesn’t feel like a chore. I joined a back to netball group and play a couple of times a week and I have made new friends and have a laugh.
It has been a real game changer for me as I’m very good at talking myself out of a 1 hour gym session after less than 10 mins. 😂

@wheresmymojo I was 19st 10lbs this time last year and a total sugar addict. I also considered surgery, but the research I did really put me off. It doesn't work for everyone for a start, but also many people have complications.

So, I started trying to cut down and I lost a stone, but couldn't stick to things. In October i found the low carb bootcamp thread on here and weighed in at 18st 10lbs. Since then, with the low carb bootcamps as guidance (ran by the wonderful @BIWI), I've lost a further 4st 8lbs and gone from a 20/22 down to a 14/16. The bootcamp follows a low carb, high fat way of eating and totally gets you away from the sugar habit. You feel full between meals, so not tempted to snack and cheat. I'm now 14st 2lbs and want to get down to 9st 5lbs, so almost half-way and I believe I can do it with the LCHF diet.

I wonder if it's worth you trying this way of eating before you do something so drastic?

I'm sorry I don't know how to link but if you search for low carb bootcamp on the weight loss topics, you'll find it. Each bootcamp runs for 10 weeks at a time (lots of people join late) and you can be added on to a spreadsheet to track your losses. Lots of brilliant support, they're a friendly and knowledgeable bunch.

I have bipolar and used to weigh 30stone. I had the sleeve procedure, took 2 months for me to get back on my feet properly as I had a rare complication. Since then all has been well, I’ve settled at 15 stones.I don’t miss food at all, I can still eat anything but just in much smaller portions.
Of course I still get mind hunger sometimes but it’s rare and I’m able to just cast the thought away.

I wish I’d had the surgery at your weight, I could’ve got my life and health back sooner.

I know someone who lost a huge amount of weight having had surgery. They even went down to a normal weight for their height.l and they were much heavier than you are now.

Slowly though they started to eat more and more and now sit eating biscuits and crisps. They will soon be back at their starting weight

I agree with PP that you need to address why you over eat as surgery is just a tool like any other.

I was never slim as an adult but varied between size 14 and size 18. I suddenly started with asthma in 1998 which I had never had before. I lost 2 stone whilst really poorly and decided I was going to make sure that I didn't put it back on BUT over the next 8 months I put over 4 stone on without (i thought) overeating although I obviously was for me but it seemed that my illness and/or the steroids/antibiotics I had been treated with a done something to me that meant I put weight on more easily.

I had a gastric bypass in 2000.

I was back driving and at work in a month. I have never regretted it. It cost £8000 back then - a lot more than that now.

I was 21 stone and lost 9 stone over the first year.

I then started to put weight back on again. After a while I decided this could not be allowed to happen so started to do more exercise and got down to a weight 10.5 stone less than my highest.

Then I went through a bad patch emotionally and I put 6 stone back on again over the course of a year. I am now losing weight again by cutting out snacks and doing more exercise.

It certainly hasn't been a magic bullet but it has given me control back even if I don't always use it.

A big meal for me now is probably what you would normally give a 5 year old. If I go out to eat then I will have a starter or maybe two rather than a main course. (Or pizza and take some home with me). In some ways I enjoy my food more now because I never feel guilty but I rarely eat out now because I can't enjoy it like I used to. Barbeques were a favourite - now the amount I can eat means it is rarely worth it (One burger or one kebab and a bit of salad and I'm done).
The weight you are it is very possible to lose the weight by changing your food choices and doing more exercise. Gastric surgery is more permanent but not a magic bullet.

Would I do it again - hell yes - but it's certainly not for everyone.

I paid to get a gastric band fitted when I was 14.5 stone. It worked like a charm, got down to target healthy weight, really active etc.... but.. the band restricts best things like meat, chicken, crunchy veg, bread and doesn't restrict at all things like ice cream, milkshake, chocolate, crisps, biscuits. So for several years I ate healthily and used it as a tool and the weight stayed off but when I had my ds and didn't have time to focus on me, it all went pear shaped and I began to rely on the foods that it doesn't restrict. Now I weigh 19.5st and am on slimming world to help me lose it again.
Weight loss surgery helps but it's not magic, it only works if you're prepared to put in about 70% of the effort.

Surgery won't help unless you address the root cause - in the person I know it made mental health much much worse as the comfort blanket wasn't there.

@tootstastic

I've tried low carb before but it triggered a major depressive episode for me.

Plus I'm vegetarian so low carb is difficult without being able to rely on meat or fish for protein.

The other issue I have is that I have a busy and stressful job with long hours which means I'm very time poor.

I was using this as an excuse to eat shit ready meals but am now finding meals to make which are quick but healthy.

Exercise is difficult though unless I get up at 5am to exercise - which is possible and I used to do it when I was slim but I've got zero motivation to do it.

I think part of the reason for no motivation is that I'm not having much downsides at the moment - health is fine, happily married, etc.

Sorry @wheresmymojo I can imagine you've tried every diet under the sun. I had (inc low carb), but never in such a supported way and with stricter rules. There are vegetarians on the bootcamp too and slightly different rules. Though I can understand why you wouldn't want to go there again after such a bad experience previously.

On the exercise front, is there anyone you can buddy up with? My friend joined my gym and it has transformed my exercise from just yoga type classes to a whole range of tougher classes.

With the diet, it's about finding the right one for you and I know how hard that can be! But from other posters with experience of it, it doesn't sound like the surgery is the answer if you're still likely to cheat.

Good luck with whatever you decide 💐

I lost five stone and have kept it over for many years using Gillian Riley's overcoming overeating CBT approach, I went to a weekend seminar in London (it wasn't expensive) but I think she does an online course as well. Here is a TedX talk she did

Thanks @Mummy0ftwo12 I will definitely check that out

@tootstastic

None of my friends are close enough to me to buddy up for the gym and I'd have to go at crazy times like 5.30am or 9pm because of my working hours.

I'm so tired just from working and cleaning the house I can't imagine fitting exercise in as well

I'll have a look at the boot camp threads....can you join part way through or do I need to wait until the next one starts?

I'd need to wait until next week anyway as all groceries have been bought for this week already...

I believe it is said that weight loss is 80% food intake and 20% exercise. I'm not advocating no exercise but I've certainly lost weight without hitting the gym and I don't think you should beat yourself up about not having time to fit it in. Once you've sorted out the food issues then you may well feel more inclined to exercise anyway. There are 7 minute workouts online which may help.
I have recently had a hypnotherapy session to sort out my poor relationship with food, for me it was all about needing to be kinder to myself and resolving some self esteem issues from the past. I am now doing intuitive eating which is working well for me but would have been just another diet without resolving the others problems. I'm sure it's not for everyone but I was desperate to sort this out and for me its been amazing. I did go to someone who is a friend of a friend with excellent reviews so that helped.
Good luck OP I can see you have the will to get this sorted.

Plus I'm vegetarian so low carb is difficult without being able to rely on meat or fish for protein.*

This maybe the problem.
When I was veggie I had a huge SUGAR craving mist of the time and was constantly tired.
My body was desperate for meat protein.
I started eating meal again and the sugar craving disappeared and I have tones more energy:)

I was 21 1/2 stone and had a gastric sleeve in 2011. I wasn’t working at the time but, until a few months previously, had been a nurse working long hours and not taking care of myself; I lost 8 1/2 stone in around 10 months post op, never exercised, it was all down to the sleeve and the enforced portion control combined with making better food choices - though was still able to enjoy ‘foodie’ experiences. My surgery was done on the NHS as I had a bmi over 40 and had mdical reasons for loosing weight (asthma, sleep apnoea and rheumatoid arthritis) that were supported by my consultants for reasons for surgery.

Fast forward to last year and I had gained around 2 1/2 stone from my lightest (most of that was from calories in alcohol especially gin!!) and had become aware of clothes feeling less comfortable. I joined slimming world and lost 1 stone 10 before having IVF which was successful. I am now 22+ weeks with twins and have gained just 13lbs during my pregnancy so far. I still follow the principles of SW though more loosely than I did before the IVF.

I intend to get back on it once the babies arrive and hope to get myself down to my pre-pregnancy goal - I would never have got below morbidly obese just by dieting, the sleeve is a tool which I have had to work with and use wisely (hence gaining weight when having empty calories from alcohol!!) and not expecting it to be a magic spell where I’d wake up one day having a bmi of 25 and a size 12 wardrobe!!

I have a friend who has surgery, it caused nothing but problems and in the end she had surgery again (think she had a band but not sure) she lost all her weight by low carbing in the end

I lost my weight by joining sw, started at 15.7 and now weigh 11.5 , I’m 5”7

I don’t stick to it religiously, it’s more a case of changing my eating habits. Less crap and smaller portions . I did very little exercise but now I’ve lost so much weight I’ve found it easy to go on long walks/jog etc

@Rememberallball congratulations!! Lovely story.

Yes @wheresmymojo you can join the bootcamp halfway through. You'll just need to read the rules on the spreadsheet and ask @AthelstaneTheUnready to add you to it if you want to record your weight. I'm not good at linking, so hoping this works...

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lowcarbb_bootcamp/3596373-Week-3-Sumer-19-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-Bootcamp-Light

This is the thread we're on at the moment, so you'd ask to be added on here, but go back to weeks one and two threads to read through so that you're up to date.

I wouldn't worry about the exercise for now if you're struggling to fit it in. Get into the dieting first and then try to add little bits in.

I'm a Low carb vegetarian

I think i was overweight for years because of a carby diet as a vegetarian.

You have to sort your head out first
I had a sleeve went from 126kg to 53kg in a year
Had a breakdown, subsequent meds brought me up to 90kg and depressed as hell.