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Another baby?

15 replies

motherone · 01/06/2019 00:08

I have a 3 year old and am 38 years old. I would like more children however I am currently receiving treatment for an eye condition. I need to make the decision to either stop treatment and have another baby and risk my eye sight getting worse or no baby and keep having treatment. There is no definite knowing what is going to happen I could come off treatment and have another baby and my eye sight be stable and not get worse or I could get pregnant and eye sight deteriorate and not be able to do anything about it. There in lies my dilemma

So what would you do?

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MissYeti · 01/06/2019 00:11

How long would the treatment take to complete? I think that would influence my decision greatly

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motherone · 01/06/2019 00:13

Ongoing could be for a lifetime very dependent on scans

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motherone · 01/06/2019 00:14

They do three month blocks

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MissYeti · 01/06/2019 00:15

How likely is it that a year without treatment is going to make things worse?

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motherone · 01/06/2019 00:16

Unable to tell consultant said if I wasn't talking about pregnancy he would continue treatment from my last scan

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TapasForTwo · 01/06/2019 00:19

I have poor eyesight. This would be a no brainer for me. My eyesight is more important than another child.

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motherone · 01/06/2019 00:21

I know just makes me incredibly sad

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MissYeti · 01/06/2019 00:22

Sorry to hear that, it sounds like a lot of uncertainty either way which must be really hard for you.
My dad has a degenerative eye disease and he's often getting upset that he can't see my DS grow up (he's been legally blind for 10+ years now). IMO it would be better to continue treatment and focus on your 3yo so you can enjoy them as much as you can for as long as possible

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motherone · 01/06/2019 00:25

Yeah before my son we talked about adoption so I think it's Bk on the table however I don't think it was ever off the table

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MissYeti · 01/06/2019 00:27

Its a sensible option to consider given the circumstances

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BadgertheBodger · 01/06/2019 00:38

That sounds really tough motherone

I have a painful condition which I take a lot of medication for but have been having food results with hypnotherapy and have the possibility now of having a sort of electrical stimulator to help with the pain. I am absolutely desperately broody for another baby (having never thought it was a possibility) but the likelihood is that I would suffer terribly in pregnancy and possibly completely ruin my body in a very physical sense and be unable to function for either my existing child or my new baby. And I just feel paralysed even considering it because I don’t know how to make this decision. It is very, very hard and such a horrible decision to have to male but honestly? I am so desperate for another baby to love like I love my son that I would take the risk. I know all the arguments against, I have them daily in my head. But I would do it. I don’t want to be 60, 70, 80 and regretting decisions. I’d rather be in pain, but happy that I had my lovely children.

Only you know if you could cope with very poor/non existent eyesight though. I think going from a sighted to non-sighted person is a very, very tough transition, particularly if your have small children. That’s a really tough life and people who deal with it have my utmost admiration.

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Butteredghost · 01/06/2019 00:57

Oh gosh this is a tough one. I don't think I would risk it personally. It would be really tough not being able to see (understatement!) Although if it was for my first child I probably would so I see your dilemma.

If you stay on treatment will it most likely work? Or is a thing where your eye sight will most likely deterioriate anyway?

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motherone · 01/06/2019 01:06

This condition is only in my right eye and will be with me for life. It more management than getting better if that makes sense. Also I don't think I will go blind more the central vision loss which is bad enough.

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Butteredghost · 01/06/2019 01:10

OK I see, I guess was just wondering what the chances are that you might stay on the treatment, and two years from now your eyesight has deteriorated anyway, and you wish you had just gone for it.

But no, I don't think you should do it. Sorry though Life is really unfair sometimes isn't it.

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Aquamarine1029 · 01/06/2019 01:34

You have a beautiful child. Your eyesight is irreplaceable. Stopping treatment would be very foolish imo.