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Original poster

Today, my children

18 replies

AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 17:04

Have pushed all of my buttons. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
No bugger listens, they alternated between fighting with each other, or getting on but getting into mischief doing things they know fine well are not allowed. I don't like them and would like a refund please.

How's your day with the little angels been?

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 31/05/2019 17:21

Send them back.

MauisHouseOnMaui · 31/05/2019 17:24

Tell them that on reflection you've decided not to have children and then throw them in the bin.

Mine are behaving reasonably well today. Oldest two have disappeared upstairs with the Switch, youngest two are playing jigsaws on the living room floor. I'm waiting for it to all kick off when they realise dinner is almost ready and it's - horror! - fish pie. "Weeeeeee don't eat fish! Weeeeee are NOT cats!!!!". Repeat. Forever.

foodiefreckle · 31/05/2019 17:26

Mine are currently in the garden with glitter. Where the hell did they find it? I hate glitter. The entire garden is covered in glitter. Their delighted little bodies are covered in glitter.

Rather than argue, (as we're a week into half term and I'm exhausted) I'm sat inside with a cup of tea pretending it's not happening.

I'm thinking I should probably warn Daddy who's due home any minute (via the garden!)

Original poster
AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 17:28

Sigh, it's just prolonged phycological warfare. I'm so fed up I've downed tools and told DH I'm now off duty. He's just gone to hunt and gather some fish and chips.
Singlenotsingle this has been one of those days when as an option it would be very tempting.
They are currently parked in front of a DVD (we have been out today, an abortive trip to the park, curtailed by appalling behaviour, and all morning in the garden). Typically I explained in great detail to DH how shitty they have been and now they are all quiet and peaceful.

OP posts:
ValleyoftheHorses · 31/05/2019 17:28

DS has been in a lovely mood but he never ever stops talking and always wants a reply. Mostly to do with things I don’t understand re Star Wars and Harry Potter.
It’s a bit tiring

Original poster
AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 17:29

foodie at least they haven't been industriously digging fucking great holes in the lawn with a thousand diggers, tractors, lorries etc...

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MustardScreams · 31/05/2019 17:29

Is there something in the air? Dd woke up this morning and instead of shouting for me as usual, smeared her pooey nappy absolutely bloody everywhere. And then shouted for me. Not the best wake up call I’ve had.

MauisHouseOnMaui · 31/05/2019 17:29

We call glitter Satan's Dandruff.

Frownette · 31/05/2019 17:30

Mauis that's really cute! If they start doing that just meow back at anything they say

Original poster
AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 17:30

Valley I have one of those (unless I actually need his attention or verbal input, then the barriers are down, the lights are flashing but not a train in sight). And seriously, if I hear one more 'MUM' bellowed from another room/floor I'm going to implode.

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IndianaMoleWoman · 31/05/2019 17:31

Mine are watching a Christmas film. Weirdos.

Original poster
AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 17:33

Indiana that is strange, but at least it is keeping them quiet. Mine are watching Penelope Pitstop, I do declare.

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Original poster
AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 17:34

Fuck, they've realised I'm not there. INCOMING.

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foodiefreckle · 31/05/2019 17:39

Satan's dandruff 😆 brilliant and oh, so accurate.

backinaminute · 31/05/2019 17:52

I've spent the day working, feeling hugely guilty for not being off over half term. They were so tired this morning and I had to drag them out of bed. Felt awful for not allowing them down time at home in their holidays. Went to pick them up from sports camp and they were immediately stroppy because I was 15 mins early and they didn't want to leave.

Ds2 said I'd ruined everything by interrupting dodgeball and then proceeded to whinge and whine round the coop whilst I bought some milk. He's said he was stroppy because 'you're just not a kind mum' - because I denied a kinder egg as we have a house full of chocolate that I said he could tuck into when we got home.

Can't bloody win

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 31/05/2019 19:14

I’ve just put mine to bed early. I’m not well and have spent all day trying to corral them with a migraine and dizziness. Had to drag them food shopping and they spent tytime running off around the shop. Let them play in the garden, which they destroyed in turns each time the other distracted me. I’ve been called an idiot and the worst mum ever because a) I wasn’t up to a bike ride b) limited tv c) said I’d tell their teacher if they carried on etc. It’s been constant screaming and tantrums, food refusal and demands for junk food, and physical fights between them. Dh is in work for another hour.

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 31/05/2019 19:25

I'm lying on the sofa ignoring mine.

7 year old is playing football in the garden. In the rain. With no shoes on. He's already kicked the back of my car seat so hard it's left a mark and spilled a full glass of pineapple juice all over my new sofa.

11 year old is on the phone to his friend and is screeching as though his balls are being trapped in a vice every two minutes. He occasionally wanders down for food saying he's starving - even though he only ate 1/2 his dinner because he was 'full'

Original poster
AudTheDeepMinded · 31/05/2019 19:27

Surf Oh yes, the food. Always hungry, until it's a set meal. Fucks me right off.

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