My DM's husband smells odd. WWYD?

[Notflyingfree]

Firstly to be clear there is absolutely no malice intended in this post. My DM has been married to a guy for approaching 10 yrs. He is a FASTIDIOUSLY clean and tidy person. But he has this strange smell which I have noticed more recently. Sort of musty. I am sure it's not a hygiene issue as it's a different kind of smell. I recently read an article about the fact that rarely it is possible to smell eg Parkinson's before diagnosis. And although I know it's v unlikely, (but I don't know HOW unlikely), now I'm worried that I've picked up on something serious. He is early sixties and in good health as far as is obvious. I can't think of any way to mention this to DM that won't come over as criticism rather than concern. So I think I need to bury the thought, but I will always wonder "what it...". Any thoughts?

By musty, do you mean like clothes that have not been properly dried? Could it be that?

I’d just ask your DM if he was ok. And I’d sure if you were to tell her what you’ve said here, she’s not likely to take offence?

I'd mention it. Something like are you feeling okay because I've noticed an odd smell on you sometimes.

It's not like a damp clothes smell. But you're right maybe a general enquiry might be good.

I would have a quiet chat with your DM, she may have noticed the same and she will be better placed to get him to the docs if need be.

Thanks I will try and chat to DM. Might not mention the smell specifically to begin with. It's a tricky one.

Is the smell the same smell as their house? (in the way that peoples houses have a very specific identifying smell)

It could be that the house has a damp problem. Or even that their wardrobes are against a damp wall so the clothes smell a bit musty.

No it's definitely not the house. I know what you mean as I do know families who have a particular home smell (not in a bad way). And it's unique to him only.

Are his clothes washed frequently? Some people are scrupulous about washing themselves, but don't wash their clothes very often.

I'm pretty sure his clothes are clean.

Are you pregnant? My sense of smell was so strong when pregnant.

Has he always smelled like this but now you're noticing it more or have you only recently noticed it?

Definitely not pregnant. But I had the same increase in smell sensitivity when pregnant and also get it as a migraine symptom (don't have a migraine either). I don't think it's always been there. I noticed it particularly when meeting them most recently but in retrospect have noticed more subtly before.

I'm thinking... Gentle health enquiry. Then see what happens next time we meet? May have resolved (crosses fingers). Don't want to make something out of nothing.

Its a tricky one isn't it but as long as you raise it with kindness then fingers crossed he won't take an enquiry the wrong way.

Personally,I'd mind my own beeswax. Could be anything from damp clothes to smelly feet,none of which are your business.If it's anything sinister it'll become apparent soon enough.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, because what's to be gained?

I completely believe that some people can smell illness, but without symptoms, going to a GP and saying "My DSD thinks i've started smelling musty" isn't likely to get a helpful response.

OTOH, you could cause worry or offence.

One to keep to yourself, I thimk.

Just getting over flu here. I definitely had a weird smell the cold sweats left me smelling biscuity as in rich tea sweetness.

My DIL was poorly recently so I did all the washing for the four of them, the stuff smelt the same as their home. But what you are saying is Dad smells different. Men do tend to wear sweaters, suits, things that do not get washed as often as womens clothes, could it be that? If not I would be frank with mum and say there may be something wrong so could dad have a check up.

I don’t know what you do with this but I do believe that you can smell illness.

My old boss started smelling nauseatingly sweet - only when I was very close to them. It was subtle, but definitely there. About three months after I noticed the change in smell they were diagnosed with breast cancer (which they made a full recovery from btw).

Prostrate problem? He might be leaking a little bit and your comment could be very upsetting so it’s a difficult one to broach directly.

Maybe speak to your mother quietly.

Yes, it is a "close" smell as you describe, not something that wafts around. I'm going to just ask how everyone is. And then keep the rest to myself for now but pay attention next few times we meet and check all seems ok.