What to do/bring when visiting?

[jackolantern]

I'm clueless at knowing what expected social norms are!
Me and DH and DC (4 and 1) are visiting some friends of ours a few hours' drive away for a long weekend - they also have kids the same age so I'm aware it'll be a lot of work for them to host. Unbelievably this is the first time we've stayed away with the kids with anyone except family - what should we offer to do/bring? We'll have quite a full car so can't do a big shop on the way etc.

Have offered to contribute to groceries, and will help with clearing up etc. Will bring wine/chocs and small presents for the kids. I just keep thinking if it was me I'd find it quite stressful and also I'm not at all used to being waited on/cooked for so it'll be a real treat!

Hopefully both sets of kids will love it so that'll make life a bit easier (although bit wary of DC4's tantrums...)

Hi, what you've planned sounds fine. I think it depends a bit on why you are visiting - i.e. if it's for your convenience, you want to holiday/visit things in the area they live, or you are stopping off there to break your journey on the way to somewhere else then I think you ought to offer them something a bit more as they are essentially doing you a favour, so perhaps you should offer to take everyone out for at least one meal (lunch with kids or perhaps if a babysitter can be found, adults only for dinner?), or pay for everyone to come on an outing?

But if it's simply that the friends invited you for the pleasure of your company, I don't think you are obliged to give much more than 'host' gifts as you are doing, a reasonable share of chores, childcare and pay your share of any meals out or outings (perhaps still offer to pay your everyone but your friends may graciously decline and I wouldn't insist in those circumstances). You should then offer to reciprocate and host them all at your house (assuming this is possible) next time.

However I am perhaps a bit unusual on MN in that I don't find having house guests a huge imposition, in fact I prefer having people come to me than going to them, so as host I would not expect to be showered in expensive gifts or given money. My view is that yes if I host I have to pay for some extra food/wine and spend time cleaning the house, but faraway friends have to put petrol in their car/buy train tickets and spend time travelling so it all works out even so long as the 'roles' swap fairly regularly and everyone takes turns hosting...

I'm a fan of the bring things, help, be easy company and take them out for at least one major meal. Or and enjoy.

Thanks! Just wondered if there was something obvious I was forgetting. They are friends that moved to a lovely part of the country so going just to spend time together and see their new area.