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Original poster

driving anxiety....give me your tips

15 replies

queenrollo · 31/05/2019 10:38

I have been driving for over 10 years. I live rurally and needed to drive so I wasn't so isolated with my then 2 year old.
The problem is that I only ever did local journeys and I developed anxiety about driving any further than this.

In the last couple of years I have done longer journeys to different places but still not long distance, never on a motorway or in a city.

I am driving solo to our nearest city next weekend and will have to drive right into the centre to park. I have done the journey many times as a passenger, I know the route etc.

I am sick of missing out on stuff because of this stupid anxiety.

So if you got over this yourself please come and talk to me about how you did it!

OP posts:

Gottoimprove · 31/05/2019 11:27

Watching this for advice as I also have driving anxiety. I passed my test less than a year ago but will only drive to the local supermarket (even then I drive the ‘long’ way because I’m very nervous on a certain stretch of road). I thought driving would give me freedom but it hasn’t.

Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2019 11:32

I would definitely do a virtual trip on Streetview. You know the route as apassenger but if you go on Streetview you can check what lane you need to be in etc.

Allow plenty of time, so you can stop if need be and have a breather.

If you make a mistake, indicate and you will find people will let you in/out.

What is your biggest concern about the trip?

BusterGonad · 31/05/2019 11:42

The only way to get over it is to do it! You will not get over by sitting at home worrying! The more you get out there the less anxious you will become.

Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2019 11:45

I think that's true too Buster. Sometimes the thought of doing it is way worse than the reality. Plus think of the sense of achievement when you do it.

Scion123 · 31/05/2019 11:53

You do just have to go for it, the more you do it the better you’ll feel. I don’t like driving on motorways and DH always offers but i force myself to do it because i don’t want to reach the stage where I can’t do (not just that I don’t want to do it).

Flobochin · 31/05/2019 11:55

I fear for other road users if you're that anxious. Better to go by bus until you've had some advanced driving lessons.

Yerroblemom1923 · 31/05/2019 11:58

watching as I'd like to know too! Like a pp I thought driving would give me freedom but I'm restricted to certain routes and a diversion sign is enough to reduce me to an anxious mess! I hate that I'm like this and wonder if it's me and my personality???

Meandyouandyouandme · 31/05/2019 12:00

So long as you drive carefully, then you have every right to be on the roads as anyone else, that’s what my instructor told me. It helped me to relax and not worry about whether I was a bit slow, allow plenty of time, research parking and you’ll be fine. And if you go the wrong way you can always turn round! I do that a lot

BusterGonad · 31/05/2019 12:22

And I'm speaking as someone who used to cry before my driving lessons, my instructor basically sacked me!!! 😂

Seeline · 31/05/2019 12:30

Drive as much as you can.

Really research unusual trips - as PP said google and streetview are really useful for checking road markings at junctions, lanes and exists on roundabouts etc. Even parking restrictions.

Make sure you are certain of your route. Pre satnavs, I would write important junctions/road numbers etc on a Postit and stick it to the steering wheel to reassure me. If you haven't got a satnav, I would really recommend one - it takes the stress out of going the wrong way, it will always get you back on route. Also helps if there are diversions, and if all else fails gets you home again!

Always research parking at your destination - again reduces the stress on arrival.

If it's a reasonably long trip, fill up before you go at a garage you are familiar with. Nothing worse than trying to nurse an almost empty tank through an unknown area, trying to find a garage.

Original poster

queenrollo · 31/05/2019 14:52

Thanks all. I do have a satnav but if I am going somewhere new I do always check the journey on a map prior to travelling and always write myself a note with the relevant turns/streetnames etc.

I actually drive daily in a town which has horrendous traffic/road system and many people locally actively avoid driving through so it's not that I can't cope with it - I just have this ridiculous anxiety about doing it somewhere new.

I know it will be fine - I had no choice but to drive in this city when my husband was very ill and hospitalised there but I think I was on life autopilot at the time.

I do not have to do this journey, but it is to go to an acitvity I really want to do. Instead of letting my anxiety win and just cancelling I decided that I need to get out there and do it.

Flobochin I'm not at all unsafe with my anxiety on the road, the worst that will happen is that I take a 3 mile detour on the city one way system because I am not in the right lane!

Another thing that I guess I find difficult is other road users not doing things right. I definitely know which lane to be in at a roundabout for example but had another driver shouting at me because he was in the wrong lane and as a result I was in his way.

OP posts:

PurpleCrazyHorse · 31/05/2019 15:07

I used to have something similar but for all driving. I actually shook so much I had to pull over and sometimes was physically sick.

I'm fine now, I only get anxious over parking, but I find the following helpful...

just do it. The only way to conquer it is to keep doing it.
use Google Street View if you like to know the route or find it helpful to check big junctions. I like to do this is driving somewhere new and busy. Obviously Street View can be out of date, but I find it reassuring and a landmark can help me spot a turn etc.
ignore other road users if they're in the wrong and try not to get het up by it. Some people are just dicks, in person and behind a wheel. We have dash cams now, so at least if we have an accident then the camera will show any dangerous driving by other road users. It's actually been quite reassuring and good to know that it's not just our word vs theirs. Honestly I've not seen driving like where we live now, it is hair-raising at times.

danni0509 · 31/05/2019 15:19

I've been passed 8 months and I'm the same, although I don't have that horrid nights sleep worrying before getting in my car the next day, so somethings changing.

I do only still drive a small handful of places, school, Tesco, hospital, drs, town, the beach, McDonald's & that's about it but it's really all I need to be able to drive too iyswim.

Would love to branch a bit further though.

f83mx · 31/05/2019 15:26

@flobo don’t you think someone being anxious and driving is probably less likely to cause an accident than some twat who is over confident speeding about the place

Flobochin · 01/06/2019 03:51

@f83mx No, absolutely not. Anxious drivers dithering about are a danger to themselves and others.

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