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PIL Visit - two weeks

6 replies

Olive30 · 31/05/2019 07:34

Know this has been covered a lot on here but would appreciate any advice and maybe getting some perspective and getting it out. My PIL Visit from abroad a few times a year and are nice people who want to help but my mil can be quite moody. She almost goes from one extreme to the other - very nice and polite or sulky and cross! I have learnt to try and ignore the bad and focus on the good but not always easy. I also find after a few days I feel a bit invaded as in she starts doing lots of housework, washing and ironing which is really nice but I suppose I feel a bit guilty. They never go anywhere outside the house without us and stay for two weeks. What can I do/ think to get a bit of mental space during the visits?

OP posts:
Soola · 31/05/2019 07:38

Invent some health check ups or other appointments that take you out of the house for a morning or an afternoon.

Barbarafromblackpool · 31/05/2019 07:40

Can you go away somewhere for a bit?

Olive30 · 31/05/2019 08:03

Thanks for replies. Good idea about invented appointments. I could do that to get a few hours to myself when needed. I don't think I could manage to get away for a whole night or two but it is worth a think! If I have a bit of space, I will be better when with them. Will be at work in the day anyway so it is doable.

OP posts:
Olive30 · 31/05/2019 08:07

Just read back what I wrote and it sounds really bad to want to 'escape' but a bit of time and space are crucial to me. Mil gets up at around 6am so it is pretty constant. She also gives me a 'report' when I get back from work of every household task she has done during the day. Think it is about validation and feeling useful/ needed. I just say thank you but I wish they would Just go out and enjoy themselves now and again! It is a bit sad, really.

OP posts:
Stayawayfromitsmouth · 31/05/2019 08:14

Book them some days out. What are they into? Pack them off to local national trust property/ museum/theatre/garden centre/brewery.
Book yourself into a spa/bnb.

Olive30 · 31/05/2019 08:31

Will ask dh to encourage them out for an afternoon. It might help them have more confidence to do it again (They are non-English speaking and worry about getting lost. Not easy). Think they will never change to be honest. But great ideas, thanks.

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