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Original poster

Advice please! Escaped from SN kids for 24 hrs, feeling conspicuously on my own

25 replies

colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 13:29

Sat in cafe trying to be cool calm and enjoying the respite but EVERYONE else is with someone or in a group. Dinner and little hotel later. Really want to enjoy this, but do wish I had someone to share it with...

OP posts:
Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 30/05/2019 13:31

I went clothes shopping dc - free last night. Felt like a shop lifter skulking around the rails not knowing what to buy!!
Have a good 'people watch' op!!
And Cake!!

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 13:33

Def Cake. Weird feeling isn't it...

OP posts:
Notverygrownup · 30/05/2019 13:42

Some exercise to make sure that you sleep well tonight: good long walk through park? A swim?

Long bath later on - need to buy bubbles/good book first? (Charity shops for good selection of inexpensive books)

Random walk around the shops whilst book /bubble bath hunting? Look for shoes you can try on without anyone moaning/looking at their watch? Try on killer stilettoes.DMs/shoes you wouldn't normally wear, just for fun, or try on ball gowns and get a free cup of coffee in a posh shop (No need to feel guilty about not buying. I'll just need to think about it. Will pop back later,)

Or go to the library and curl up in a squishy chair and read a whole newspaper, cover to cover . . . .

Remember to buy a bottle/glass of wine or some chocolates for this evening.

Notverygrownup · 30/05/2019 13:44

And then more cake!

And keep on posting so that you do have someone to share it with - us!

Hope that you can enjoy your day and go back feeling more refreshed.

Notverygrownup · 30/05/2019 13:45

Oops. Cake

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 13:47

Thanks notvery am currently in cafe gaving ordered tea and choc brownie. Then I'm going to have a mooch around the house of a famous author. Then to hotel and will try and mooch in small town.

OP posts:
Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 13:48

Meals are hardest I think

OP posts:
MagicKeysToAsda · 30/05/2019 14:56

Fancy deli and buy yourself a picnic of all your favourite things to eat in your room if you want to? New book to read without interruption? Go anywhere that involves browsing (the luxury of not having DC who struggle to wait / have extra needs with you!), or shops with breakable things (just me?!) Try for a walk-in hair appointment?

Later, if you're missing them, write them a postcard each about what you love about them - easier to re-connect to that when you're outside of the very hard work of caring for them Thanks

Also, buy something small you can use later to tap in to this feeling of looking after yourself - some music, something with a scent, a picture for your wall - so you can carry some of the benefit home with you every time you hear/smell/look at it.

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 17:37

Thanks magic I'm just sooooo struggling not to be v anxious and v conspicuous.

Have got wine and crisps, might smuggle in Duck pancakes from Chinese nearby. Going to do shower and hopefully g and t and book in hotel snug - looks v cosy, only two guys chatting quietly in there....

OP posts:
endlesslyrepeating · 30/05/2019 17:54

Remember lots of folk eat on their own - I do for work and nobody is looking

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 18:07

Doing better now after lovely shower with one of those big round shower heads, music on tv. Good grief Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 18:09

I know endlessly but I did have glances in cafe (didn't realise I looked so stunning today 😀) which made me even more self conscious!

Time for Gin.

It is amazing having no-one asking me anything or needing anything.

OP posts:
nc100 · 30/05/2019 18:11

Don't know why I think you're in Windermere but if you are go get a cocktail at the fizzy tarte. Don't worry about being alone

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 18:19

Hee hee nc100 I'm not, though was in April! Will remember that.

Now have large g and t and book and finally starting to relax

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 30/05/2019 18:23

It must be lovely to have some time for yourself. Who's with the kids now?

nc100 · 30/05/2019 18:26

Enjoy op. Gutted I'm not psychic though

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 18:55

Grin nc100

Thanks Hollow. Their dad - my ex - 95% sure anyhow.

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nc100 · 30/05/2019 19:10

Haha, who cares....you're freeeeee. Temporarily Grin

chicken2015 · 30/05/2019 19:16

As a parent with sn child i can relate i had last Saturday night "off" and it was wonderful felt incredibly guilty just as we was leaving, id happily listen/read/chat if u keep posting 🍹

itsabongthing · 30/05/2019 19:24

I’m not a parent of a SN child but I can relate to this. I always dream of having time to myself and being alone eg in a hotel room but on the rare occasion I actually have, j feel very strange, miss them a lot and can’t relax.

BlackeyedGruesome · 30/05/2019 19:56

Take a book or paper or phone to the coffee shop. Pretend you are working.

JazzersMaw · 30/05/2019 20:08

We’ve been doing the SN thing for ages - our guys are in their 20s now! It’s a weird feeling though the first time you escape. My plan usually involves things like cake and coffee, visit to a museum or gallery, a ‘picnic’ to eat in my room later. I tend not to shop much but it’s great if I need something specific like, for example, a new bra and I can try it on. When sitting alone in a cafe I read a book, do a crossword in the paper, bring out my knitting. I don’t really care if I look lonely - and other people are probably thinking much less about us than we think they are. I really like just being without someone constantly talking, needing something from me. I usually try for an early night. Sometimes I try to have a swim. Swimming without children is quite a novelty. I hope you feel refreshed after your break, OP.

Original poster
colouringinpro · 30/05/2019 20:26

Thanks so much x

Managed to eat in hotel bar with newspaper to keep me occupied! Back in room now with wine. It's a nice place. I think partly surreal cos I rarely stay in hotels!

Only trouble with relaxing and escaping is that you can reflect on your situation. And it's pretty awful tbh.

OP posts:
nc100 · 31/05/2019 11:05

Hope the reflecting didn't get in the way of a good nights sleep and that you enjoyed your break overall.

Original poster
colouringinpro · 31/05/2019 13:50

Thanks nc I did sleep well thanks. Really enjoyed the treat of a hotel room 😀 was good to get some distance and come home a bit calmer and more patient! Thanks for your support x

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