If your family setup involves both parents working FT...

[goodwinter]

...how old are your children and what childcare do you use?

I don't even have kids yet but I'm researching for the future and it seems a logistical nightmare!

We both work full-time and use an excellent nearby nursery which is open 7.30-6.

Oh and DS is 4 and he's been there since he was 10 months

We have one toddler. She is in nursery full time (8 - 6). My husband does drop off,gets into work at 9.30 and stays late. I do pick up, I get into work early and leave bang on 5.

It will need a re-think once she’s older. But most of my friends work full time with toddlers.

I suppose nursery is fairly straightforward! Maybe more complex when you start considering before and after school care, esp if a job involves occasional travel (which most jobs seem to, at least in my industry!)

The nursery years are miles easier than the school years.

Mine when to after-school/holiday clubs until the end of primary, then it gets even more complicated because they're too old for clubs and too young to be left alone.

Now I WFH because I can, but when one of us needs to travel either the other makes sure they can WFH or we rope in a grandparent.

Our dc are 1 and 6. Older one is in school 8:30-3 during term time and holiday club 8:30-4:30 during school holidays (3 days a week, we share a mix of days off with her the other days during school holidays, or my dh takes her to work with him, he's self employed). Younger one is in nursery year round 8:45-4:45.

We work flexibly and share the school runs and afterschool hours, as we have no family help and we don't use any sort of afterschool club, etc. Dh does school runs usually 2-3 days a week (I work long days those days as I commute) and I do school runs the other 2-3 days and work from home. On the days, we do the school run, our main work days are shorter, 9am-2:45pm, so school hours, but then we do a bit of extra work from home in the afternoons (catch up on emails) and work 1-2 hours in the evenings.

It's honestly not a bit deal for us, but the key is that we both have careers with a lot of built in flexibility and independence. Dh is self employed, so can build work around family life and I work in a profession that doesn't typically have standard 9-5 hours. It's very normal for people in my field to work from home, work weird middle of the day hours to accommodate meetings, but do other work in the evenings, weekends, while commuting, etc. It would be a lot harder if we had different sorts of jobs where you had to clock in and out at certain hours and where working from home wasn't the norm.

Kudos to you for trying to figure this out before you're actually needing to find a solution. Welcome to the having it all myth. My sister uses a nursery 8-6 and thereafter wrap-around as she can often finish work up to 9pm. She also relies heavily on my other sisters and I esp when it comes to things like half term for the eldest. If she were paying for a nanny etc in place of my sisters and I, I suspect she'd be spending an arm and a leg for childcare but I think its also important that women keep one foot in their job/careers.

When ds was pre school he went to nursery and some of the nursery staff did babysitting and could then bring him back home after nursery hours.
When he started school he went to a private school which had 8-6 wrap around care included plus lots of after school clubs. Holiday club every holiday onsite, 8-6
At 9 he transferred to a different school as one of us is nearly always wfh, but he could walk to and from school by himself and could do wrap around ad hoc. Holiday club 9-3 at local leisure centre
Now he's 13 and doesn't do any formal childcare except in holiday when he goes to PGL or some sort of sports day camp. We have a fab babysitter who lives only a few doors away so she fills in when we aren't here - but he can look after himself till 5 or 6 on a school day.

Now he's 13

We used a wonderful nursery which was close to my office so I could pop in at lunchtime if I wanted to . It was open 7.30am - 6pm 51 weeks a year so juggling wasn't really necessary.

Once my son went to school it became more complicated - we used a mixture of breakfast/after school club during term time and holiday clubs and juggling of annual leave during holidays. We also found other parents in the same position and would wok out reciprocal arrangements with them. We have one of these going this week (half term) where I have 3 children here today as I'm home and my son is going to one of these children's houses tomorrow as DP and I are in work.

My son is getting to the point where he won't need to have childcare as much now (he's eleven) and I'm thankful for that because you do have to juggle and be flexible to make it work. Having understanding employers and the ability to work from home occasionally is also really helpful.

Choice of school was heavily influenced by availability of wrap around care on site. Well it was for the second school when we moved, having made the mistake of not doing that with the first school. We have found that the kind of school with plentiful wrap around care is also the kind of school that understands parents have a whole range of commitments and need plenty of notice of dress-up days, bake sales and anything that requires a scale model of Machu Pichu.

DSs are 6 and 3. We use an amazing childminder who has DS2 full time (DH drops at 8 and I collect at 6) and who will have them if they’re ill or have Inset etc.

DH is a teacher so covers holidays. If he’s away (school trips etc) then I can work fairly flexibly...because it’s so rare that we need help I’ve found work are extremely relaxed about the very occasional (maybe twice a year) when this happens.

Be ready to be robust with people who want to criticise. I’m fairly aggressive now because being polite has just led to more comments. But I’m sure that’s the case whatever way you do it!

I have a 1yo and a 6yo. We use a childminder for the smallest and afterschool club for the biggest. Holidays are made up of holiday club for biggest, grandparents and aunties and annual leave for the smallest.

DH is self employed which does help to a certain extent and I get quite a lot of annual and parental leave.

It is hard though. Prepare to meet many of the people that are horrified that any mother would go back to work full time and intend to use childcare. I have brainbank of witty put downs to hand at all times.

ds is 3 and dss is 14.

DS is in FT nursery and DSS looks after himself if he's at our house whilst we're at work.

When DS goes to school I will start work half an hour later to drop him off, and we will either use after school club or childminder, he will be picked up by DP on a Friday as he finishes before 3.

Nursery seems easy compared to working around school hours! Ok, more expensive but much easier to organise.

Great minds @DelurkingAJ

Have been fulltime since DS was 8 months hes 6.5 now. We used a nursery until he started school at 4.5 and now use before and after school clubs (which is still over £200 a month )

DH works from home, flexible hours, I work afternoons/evenings.
DS is at primary.
School here is 9-4.30 (or 5pm private schools).
We live a 2 minute walk from the school (can hear ds shouting in the playground!). One of us walks him to school then continues on with the dog. DH usually picks him up from school, or I can if I start work a little later and hand him over to DH.

The school has wraparound care 8-9.30 and 4.30-6. There are also after school activities like football, basketball and rollerblading.

When he was little, ds was at nursery 9-1 mon-fri.

DH and I are a little unusual in our timetables, basically as ds comes out of school I go to work until 9.30pm .

I must add that we have no helpful family atound, so it has all been down to us to organise and pay for. I'd love ds to spend, for example, on afternoon with his grandad per fortnight or something. But, hey, I emigrated!

Oh and summer, we've just booked him into a sports club with his friend 9-2 for July. I'm not working August or September, so i'll be taking him to the beach a LOT, and going on dog-walking adventures in the woods.

I slightly altered my shift pattern and dropped my daughter off at a nursery very near my workplace. She was there from aged 1 until 4. I work about 12 miles from home.

When she started school we used a local childminder from 7:30am - and she took her to school. I again changed my hours so I could leave work at 2:30 in order to pick her up at 3:15. I obviously put “emergency” plans as a back stop, but fortunately only ever had to put these into practice once when I was involved in car crash on my way home and my car was undrivable.

She’s 11 now, and will be starting Senior school in September. Until she’s old enough to leave on her own in the morning, she will continue to go to the childminder in the morning, but will walk to school herself, as it is only about half a mile away.
I will continue to work the same hours, so I am at home when she finishes school at 3:30.
I have been very lucky that the company I work for have been very accommodating in my wish to alter my hours.

I went back full time when DS was 7 months. We did private nursery (lucky enough to get two days cover from grandparents). He didn't really settle as he got older and we had to move him - he then went to a childminder. Now he is 4 and going to the school nursery. The holidays are going to be a nuisance and he gets free hours now but I'm dreading Sept as we will have to pay if we need before/after school care.

DC1 11 (yr7) - In term time gets school bus and has a key so lets herself in after school 3 days a week until I get home about 17:20 (I work from home 2 days). Holidays are a nightmare as she is the awkward age of being too old for childcare and too young to be left at home all day every day - mix of family/friends/annual leave/work from home.
DC2 8 (yr4) - In term time goes to breakfast club 5 mornings a week and after school club 3 afternoons. I pick up myself on work from home days. In holidays would usually use our school holiday club but due to awkward yr7 above, she does the same as her i.e. mix of family/friends/annual leave/work from home.
DC3 3 - Full-time nursery 8-5pm 5 days per week term time and holidays (can't have her home when I work from home - for obvious reasons!)

I am very lucky in that my work allow me to work flexible hours so I do two long work from home days (8-6) and 3 shorter office days (9-4) so I can actually get back in time to pick them up.

I’d thoroughly recommend banking up brownie points and time in role during the ‘easier’ (logistically) years of nursery. (For example “graciously” offer to stay past 5 on occasion if you know the nursery is open till 7 or your DH can pickup). Then you can look at negotiating more flexibility when they’re at school and it becomes a bit more tricky. Look at all childcare options (childminder, au pair, shared nanny) and don’t just look at nursery. Don’t be afraid to use a combination either.

Key thing is you have to be a team - don’t let all logistics/childcare/housework fall to you because you’re the mum.

We both worked long, inflexible hours. Full time nursery for both DCs (strategically born less than 2 years apart to make this bit over quicker) then school breakfast clubs / before school childminder and after school nanny until about 6.30pm every day. They are now 18 and 16 and can shift for themselves having been getting themselves to school and back on the train in all weathers since age 11.

The only thing I made sure of was that we all left together in the mornings, so when they were at primary, they had childminder from 6.45 - 9am and their secondary school means a train at 7am.

I never wanted to leave them to get up and ready by themselves in an empty house. That's what we did. Don't know if it was the 'right' thing but too late to worry about it now and they seem to have turned out OK!

Following this thread with interest. People talk about the cost of childcare when they are small. But I'm thinking it will be even more costly for us at that stage as will need wrap around care and holiday cover. It may be easier if one of us can change working hours slightly.

DH freelances so does dropoffs at nursery Tuesday to Thursday. Mil has DD Mondays.
I started back to work when DD was 10 months pt so I could drop.off and pick up.

Now she's more settled I've compressed my hours into 4 days and leave the.house at 5:30. Means I can leave work before 4 and pick her up at 5.

We wing it week to week though!

We have a 4 year old daughter. We are both full time but I work flexibly so I now work long hours Tue-Thur and half of saturday (at home) and look after my daughter on mon and fri. Tue-Thur she is in nursery7.30 - 6 and DH does drop off and pick up. We've booked a childminder for before and after school Tue-Thur when she starts school in September.