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Original poster

26 weeks pregnant and feel like baby won’t be here safely. Is this normal.

24 replies

Shookethtothecore · 29/05/2019 07:44

I realise I sound nuts, I am getting concerned.
I am 26weeks pregnant with dc3. It was very unexpected and took me a while to get my head around it. We are very happy tho.
I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen, that she won’t arrive here. It’s making me feel stressed.
I keep seeing one magpie (one for sorrow) and seeing little things that make me think it’s not going to be ok. I realise this is mad but why is it happening?
I have told the midwife and they are seeing me every 2 weeks to listen to the heartbeat etc and everything is fine: I don’t know, has anyone else had this. Was the baby ok?

OP posts:

springgreensunshine · 29/05/2019 08:02

I felt this a bit with dc3. I felt like my luck was bound to run out. I already had 2 healthy children, surely something would go wrong this time, I couldn't be that lucky. That thought plagued me most of my pregnancy.
But it was all fine. I am lucky enough to have 3 lovely happy kids.

xJune88 · 29/05/2019 08:04

Yep this was me! Currently sat at home with a happy healthy 2 week old baby. Always saw one magpie and had reduced movements throughout and after 2 losses I was so anxious. Labour was awful and she was poorly when born but shes here and safe! X

Original poster

Shookethtothecore · 29/05/2019 08:06

Yes! The third baby thing, 2 healthy children and I’m pushing my luck kinda thing deffo rings true.
I’m so glad you had a good outcome xjune. It’s really bothering me and I don’t want to feel like this

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PivotPivotPivottt · 29/05/2019 08:13

I felt like this all through my pregnancy after having a MMC, right down to the magpies and other things I saw as 'signs'. I was under the mental health team and my midwife also saw me every 2 weeks to check heartbeat. Towards the ends I became unwell and delivered a couple of weeks early but my baby was fine and she's 2 now. You've done the right thing speaking to your midwife about your concerns, between my midwife and local maternity unit they really saved my sanity by being understanding about my anxiety and never once made me feel a nuisance.

Original poster

Shookethtothecore · 29/05/2019 08:16

Yes the “signs” are bothering me and I’m noticing them, rationally I realise they mean nothing or court relate to anything but the anxiety is really creeping up.
Will the mental health time think I’m not coping tho? I’m worried about them thinking I can’t cope with my children

OP posts:

IVEgottheDECAF · 29/05/2019 08:19

Can definitley relate to those saying on dc3 they felt like maybe their luck had run out! I am now expecting dc5 (yes mn i am killing the planet ) and i feel the same!

ApplesOrangesPears · 29/05/2019 08:23

Yes. I had this with DD1. I was convinced something would go wrong. I was very tearful and anxious a lot of the time, particularly towards the end of my pregnancy. I’m glad you’ve told your midwife. I didn’t and just tried to cope on my own which was absolutely the wrong this to do as I now realise such feelings are remarkably common. Talk to your midwife again OP. She won’t think you can’t cope. She may well be able to put extra support in place.

Oh, and DD1 was absolutely fine. The ‘signs’ I was seeing were symptoms of my anxiety not any kind of omen. She’s 10 now and I can hear her downstairs making Nutella toast for her sister.

AndOutComeTheBoobs · 29/05/2019 08:30

I felt like that with all my babies.

It's totally normal.

IJustLostTheGame · 29/05/2019 08:56

Normal.
Every day I would search the internet for 'babies born at 26 weeks and one day survival rates'
And then the next day 'babies born at 26 weeks and 2 days survival rates'.

I gave birth at 42 weeks to a massive and healthy baby.

mawof3soontobe · 29/05/2019 08:58

Omg this is me! DC3 is currently at 35 weeks gestation in my tummy and I'm still convinced something is going to be wrong

DeadDoorpost · 29/05/2019 09:08

The magpie thing is probably because we're coming to the end of their mating season. They usually mate in April sometime and can take up to a month for them to fully fledge. So you should start seeing more than one around soon.

PivotPivotPivottt · 29/05/2019 09:14

Shooktothecore

Of course not, it was the maternity mental health team specifically for antenatal anxiety etc. I have an older daughter as well and there were no concerns at all about me being unable to cope. The waiting list was so long I never actually got to see the psychiatrist until after I gave birth!! Had to speak to him before being discharged.

Even after I gave birth I still worried and saw signs all the time, 2 years later I'm still not 100% relaxed. I wasn't like this with my oldest and always put it down to having the MMC before my youngest but now I'm wondering if it's like you've mentioned, pushing luck after already having a healthy child.

Everythingsbeentaken · 29/05/2019 09:15

I felt like this with dd2, never with ds1, even after she was born I felt like something was going to happen to her. She's 11 now and still fine! My mum died a year before she was born, so I put it down to that.

ErrantTesselation · 29/05/2019 09:18

I was like this with my 2nd, mostly because my mum's 2nd pregnancy (& we had our 1st and 2nd pregnancies at the same age) ended in stillbirth. Baby measured small at 20 weeks too and anterior placenta so movement was very hard to feel. Everything was fine in the end but the anxiety was SO BAD I remember promising myself not to have a 3rd because I couldn't go through it again (there are other reasons not to have a 3rd too, DH doesn't want to for a start, but the anxiety is a factor). Best wishes to everyone else going through it.

DoingItForTheKids · 29/05/2019 09:21

I have this with my second. The first was had fought for. This one happened super quick. I'm currently over my due date and have never felt that I will get to meet this one. It feels too lucky and too easy and something will go wrong mainly around birth time is my worry.

I read a brilliant post somewhere (sorry can't quite remember where but maybe Anna Mathur on Instagram) about trying to reframe and enjoy every minute you have with them as you can't control the outcome. I've tried to do that. Nothing would make the pain easier so I may as well try and enjoy and bond etc. I definitely, still haven't talked to this one as much though but it's still a work in progress even at this late stage!

MaverickSnoopy · 29/05/2019 09:23

DC3 is 7mo now but I felt just the same, as did DH. She was a surprise too. I also spotted signs and things happened that made me worry. Although the only thing I remember now was when I was semi crushed at around 14 weeks. All was fine though.

I think you just have to try and ride it out and take each day as it comes.

BlueThang · 29/05/2019 09:51

Yep normal. With my dd I just knew in my gut that I would miscarry, then when I got past 20 weeks I was sure that I'd have a still birth and that I would die in childbirth. None of that happened. Then with my ds I thought I'd miscarry, that I'd have a mmc, that something would be wrong at 20 week scan, that the cord would fail, that ds would be still born, that I'd die in childbirth. Honestly, I was a wreck. I don't know how I got through either pregnancy because i was so adamant something awful was going to happen. Ds was an ivf baby so I thought I was pushing my luck by being blessed with a second child after struggling to conceive my first.

Both babies born with no major issues, and good recovery for me both times. I think it's very normal to worry and feel like signs are telling you that something is going to go wrong.

Pinkvoid · 29/05/2019 10:07

I was like this during my last pregnancy after two missed miscarriages. I spent the entire first trimester convinced it would be another missed miscarriage, then when the first scan showed a healthy baby I was convinced there would be complications at the 20 week scan. When that was fine, I became transfixed on his movements and panicked if I hadn’t felt him for an hour. I would poke and prod, play music to him, lie down on my side etc until I got a reaction . That went on right until the end of the pregnancy, I also had a Doppler which I used religiously every single day. It wasn’t healthy but pregnancy after loss is never going to be easy. After he was born I was obsessed with avoiding SIDS and now I’m very over protective over him. I’m having counselling.

Original poster

Shookethtothecore · 29/05/2019 10:17

Thank you, all of you. You are really helping.
The PP about magpies and mating season is very helpful I was looking for a rational explanation.
Thank you all for making me feel normal. I have also had a mmc in the past and both my sons’ took over a year to conceive and it was a long slog with lots of tears ( not compared to some I’m sure but it wasn’t easy I’m trying to get across) with this one being a surprise, and then a girl it all feels a bit unreal like it isn’t really happening and this isn’t going to be ok for us. I realise it’s anxiety and everything is fine and it will more than likely be ok, but anxiety is a funny thing and it tells you lies. Thank you all for helping me feel normal and that it might be ok. I will continue to speak to my midwife and be open and try and enjoy each day rather than think too far ahead

OP posts:

HippyChickMama · 29/05/2019 10:31

I felt like this with dc2. I'd had a bad experience at work in early pregnancy that involved a very late mc (I'm a nurse). I was convinced there'd be no heartbeat at my 20w scan, then I was convinced she'd be stillborn, this went on right up to and including labour. When they said her heart rate was dropping in labour I completely panicked and when she was born I was convinced she wasn't crying (she was, I was off my face on Entonox). She's 5 now and absolutely fine, if a bit wild, but I knew logically it was down to what had happened at work. It sounds like it's quite common though so I'm sure your mw has heard it a lot and will understand.

toastfiend · 29/05/2019 11:39

I had this throughout my pregnancy with my DS (first baby). I'd had several bleeds and then everything just felt so precarious I couldn't possibly imagine he'd be here safely. My anxiety was absolutely terrible throughout my pregnancy. He arrived 5 weeks early but wasn't plagued with many of the issues that preemies tend to have at all and he's now a happy, healthy, utterly adored 17 week old. I was convinced something would go wrong even during labour, but he arrived safely. For me, my anxiety was made a hundred times worse by all the pregnancy hormones and a tough pregnancy with a few scares. I looked for every little sign that things would go wrong, single magpies, accidentally walking under a ladder, all sorts. Ultimately, all was OK. I told my midwives and they were very supportive. I think it is pretty common from speaking to other people. Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

birdling · 29/05/2019 18:27

The secret with lone magpies is to look at them twice. That way you've seen two and it negates the sorrow part.
(Nods sagely)

calmpuppycrazykids · 29/05/2019 18:41

I had this with my Dd she is my fifth and last baby and if I didn’t feel her move in the first hour of me waking up I was convinced that she was gone.
It didn’t help that she wasn’t really a baby that moved a lot I never got a kick she just wriggled a few times a day.
My sons moved and kicked me constantly.
It was awful feeling it everyday but she was born at 38 weeks absolutely healthy.
She is 4 now and is always on the go and hardly stays put for a minute.

DeadDoorpost · 29/05/2019 21:40

@Shookethtothecore you're welcome about the magpies... I noticed it too back in march/April when they obviously start building nests and had to do the research. It felt weird only ever seeing one everywhere I went.

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