Dummy Help!!

[Lyds40]

Wrong place I know but I'm posting for traffic!

To my absolute shame and humiliation my dd5 still has a dummy I know, I know call the shit parent hotline! I don't know how we got here, she spoke early, out of nappies by 2.5 and hasn't had a bottle since she weaned but the fucking dummies are still here. She adores them and breaks down in tears at the slightest mention of me bobbing them. Anyway I've had enough, it's half term so I decided that tonight is the night! I told her this morning and said that if she gets rid I'll take her to the Disney store on Saturday and she can pretty much choose whatever toy she wants, she handed them over and I hid them then she went down stairs and sobbed for about half an hour! Bedtime she dragged out with drinks, wee's and cuddles and has now been in bed for an hour and 15 mins but is still awake. What do I do? I need to just carry on and take whatever shit night is ahead don't I?! This girl is an angel which makes it even worse and I feel like a shit parent either way (having the dummy for so long and now forcibly taking it away). She only has it for bed and it never comes out of her bedroom but she's 5!! I have to carry on now don't I? What if she doesn't sleep? She's always been a great sleeper, will it all go to pot now or is she too old for it to disturb her sleep too much? This is rubbish, why didn't I bin it when she was 2?!

You’ve got to be cruel to be kind. Throw them away. Allow the tears, they will end. Giving in only prolongs it. I’ve never forgotten my Mum tell me I was too old for my sippy cup, but somehow I survived.

Your daughter’s teeth will thank you.

Besides this, you are not a shit parent. We all have our personal challenges. Coming on here means we can share them.

5?

My eldest is 12 and still sucks his thumb.

At 5, bribery is the key. Get a tick chart, and get her to choose a favourite toy out of the Argos catalogue and cut it out and stick it on the tick chart and put them on the wall by her bed.

For 10 nights she needs to not have her dummy in bed, she will get a tick.
Then she gets the toy.

You just need to break the habit.

Thank you! I think I just needed someone to tell me that I wasn't being cruel! Its crazy the difference in opinion between a dummy and sucking their thumb, thumb sucking seems to be more acceptable. My son is 10 and a few of his friends suck their thumbs still but the very few people I've told about the bedtime dummy have been shocked!

She is still awake but she isn't crying and is quiet so maybe she is starting to fall asleep 🤞

I did tell her that we would go shopping on Saturday so that will be 4 nights of no dummy hopefully that would have been enough to break it. If they didn't destroy their teeth I would probably just let her carry on and keep it a secret from everyone but she has the tell tale space between upper and lower teeth so they need to go!

Go easy on yourself. Being a Mum is a tough job. No parent is perfect, but well done. Soon your daughter will forget all about it.

Just ride it out. Personally I would have gotten the toy to bribe them before getting rid but that's just me.

It worked quite well for us because I got rid of DS2's dummy around the same time as DS1 lost his first tooth. So the tooth fairy took the tooth and the dummies and gave presents to both!

I'm watching with anticipation. My DS is still attached to his dummies, and he's 4. I know that I really need to get rid because it's affecting his teeth, but he just loves them so much, it's hard for me to take away such a comfort for him. I'm sort of hoping that he gives it up himself pretty soon.

How did you do last night?

We told our DD age3 that the dummy fairy needed dummies for her babies, so we left them outside at bedtime for the fairy to collect. We did this, left a small gift & a thank you note on the doorstep.
After a couple of days asking for her dummy, she accepted the babies had the dummies.

My daughter gave hers up at 4 after a trip to the dentist. There was starting to be a really noticeable gap at the front when she closed her mouth between upper and lower teeth. The dentist said if we stopped immediately, it would reduce the possibility of needing braces.
He was right. It's closed completely.

She was worried about "hurting her teeth" with it and was very on board. We bought her a bribe/toy then we took it away and she cried that night for an hour or so. Nothing the next night. She's been fine ever since. Has even been fine with her younger brother still having his.

I nearly caved that first night. So hard.

Give her a fiver or something under her pillow from the dummy fairy who took the dummies to give to babies that need them?

Step 1 preparation, Dummy fairy stories and whatever bribery will work.
Step 2 getting rid of the blasted things, dispose of them completely so that the temptation isn't there for you to cave if the going gets tough.
Step 4 navigate the storm by whatever means necessary (gin, repeating "this to shall pass" as a mantra)
step 5 positive reinforcement and more bribery.

You are doing the right thing, you have been through the baby stage, the teething, the toddler tantrum stage, You can do this!

My son posted his to Santa for his elves. It really helped that he saw them go and so didn't expect them back. I'd tried other things before this without success. Hopefully it didn't inconvenience the postman too much!

My 3, nearly 4yo still has them at night, but I'm now waiting till he's settled into school for half a term (he starts this Sept) before considering removing them. I don't want to make it any harder to settle at school

By that age pay her or bribe with desired object/s. I remember being paid off to stop dummy use and it worked. I did still suck my thumb occasionally, but generally only when sick etc.